Guess its Gonna Hafta Hurt
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Edward has a lot of growing up to do and Bella isn't sure he can ever be trustworthy. He learns sometimes life just has to hurt as he struggles to get everything he wants in life. All Human
1. Chapter 1

**Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Characters**

I sat up, not exactly sure where I was, but the sun was shining through the windows. I looked down at the chick in bed with me and couldn't remember ever seeing her before, maybe I was at her place, since nothing in the room was remotely familiar.

I climbed out of the bed and grabbed my jeans off the floor to pull them back onto my body. I didn't bother looking for my boxers. The girl moaned and rolled over to my spot in the bed. I got a better look at her, damn, I must have been really wasted, she had ugly all over her.

I checked my wallet to make sure she didn't help herself to my cash or credit cards and then headed out of the house. People were lying all over the place, obviously crashing from a big party. I looked around to make sure I didn't need to rescue my buddies and then got in my car and left. It was a typical weekend and I was growing tired of them.

My car was loud and fast, something I wanted when my dad let me pick one. Now, I wished I would have gone for some electric piece of shit that let me come home unnoticed. I walked through the back door and my mother turned to look at me, "At least you're sober," she mumbled, and I scowled as I hurried to my room.

Ah, my room, clean, orderly, everything a young man could expect from a cleaning staff paid to take care of him. I fell onto my bed and slept for most of the morning. A knock on my door woke me up and I groaned loudly.

"Get up shithead," my girl demanded, as she grabbed a fistful of my hair.

"Go home," I yelled, and took a swing at her arm holding my hair.

"You promised you would come with us today," Rosalie said, and I could tell she was going to squeeze out a few tears, but I would be unfazed.

"I'm hung-over and I need a shower," I said, and turned away from her.

"Did you cheat on me?" she demanded to know, and it really pissed me off. I told her long ago I wouldn't be faithful and she was the one who decided we would act like a couple, not me.

"My memory's a bit fuzzy, but I think I cheated twice, or maybe the once just lasted a long time," I said with a chuckle. I knew it would get her out of my room, but hell, it was also the truth.

She stormed out and slammed the door so I tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't even remember where I had promised to go with her, but I was happy to be free from the obligation. It was my senior year of high school and I would be out of this piss ant town next fall. Forks was so small I had slept with most of the girls in my class, so I was stuck going to Port Angeles for fresh tail.

I had indulgent parents, grateful to have one baby who survived, so the word no, wasn't in their vocabulary. I constantly pushed their limits and grew immune to their disappointed stares and watery eyes. I would grow up…eventually, but now was my time to sow my wild oats.

When I woke up for good it was four in the afternoon. I wouldn't be allowed out on a Sunday evening so I didn't bother shaving or getting dressed. I showered and headed into the kitchen to get something to eat.

"Edward, come here please," my father called out. I walked into the living room to find Chief Swan talking with my father. Shit, I wished I could remember last night and what transpired that would send the local yahoo's to my house.

"Yeah," I said with a bit of an attitude.

"Charlie's daughter is starting Forks high tomorrow, I think it would be nice if you made sure she was feeling accepted and maybe introduce her around."

"A freshman?" I asked when I really wanted to tell him to shove it. I wasn't making anyone feel comfortable at a place I loathed.

"No, she's a senior. She usually lives with her mother, but she just remarried and is moving to Florida," Charlie explained, and I had no idea why he felt the need to tell me some loser chick's background.

"I'm sure she'll feel welcomed," I said, and turned to leave the room.

Charlie upped the stakes and called out, "I wouldn't want her going to Port Angeles and being served underage."

I got it, he wasn't here to ask me to be the welcome wagon, he was here to warn me to keep away from sweet cheeks. It made me really want to take a turn at the girl and see if she was worth the warning, but having the chief of police mad at you didn't bode well for future partying.

"I'm sure Angela will inform her who the dangerous people are at Forks High," I said and left the room. I wasn't sure if the Swan girl would keep the cops off our backs when we drank at First Beach or if it would send them right for us. I decided to just stay far from the girl and not find out.

I grabbed my science book and did a bit of homework before being interrupted by Jasper and Emmett. Something was going on and neither guy would look me right in the eyes. I didn't give a shit what their problem was and went back to my homework.

Jasper finally left my room to talk with my mother. He had a bit of a crush on her and flirted whenever he got the chance. It was disgusting, but it did win me extra time out of the house if I was with Jasper. Emmett stretched out on my bed and sighed loudly, which was really odd for Emmett to be thoughtful or introspective.

"What?" I asked without looking up.

"I met a great girl, I think I'm in love," he said and that got my full attention. His abs and dimples made him a favorite with the college girls and I didn't understand why he would be willing to forgo educated sex for some high school girl who wouldn't know an orgasm if it left her brain dead.

"I'm sure it will pass, like a case of the shits," I said, but he shook his head.

"Nope, this one is different," he professed.

"None of them are different, they are all exactly the same," I said to educate him.

"See, that is exactly why she dumped your ass for me," he said, and looked at my eyes to see if I got what he was telling me.

"Rose?" I asked. I really didn't care if she dumped me, I was just feeling a bit rejected and my pride was wounded.

"Yeah, Rose. I'm keeping this one," he said, and I shook my head.

"Good luck with that, nothing pleases her, and just so you know, she likes it kinky," I said to worry him a bit.

"Yeah, I know," he said right back to stun me.

Hot damn, Rose was cheating on me after all. I suddenly had a lot more respect for her. I always viewed her as clingy and desperate for such a beautiful girl, but actually she was playing the game right along with me.

"Is that why you showed up here, to tell me my girl is now yours?" I laughed, and he only glared at me. Jasper finally returned and looked a bit relieved to see we weren't beating on each other. He walked over to my stereo and hooked up his ipod. He had a great ear for music and always found the most interesting bands.

I went back to my homework, Jasper played air guitar along with the music, and I don't know what the hell Emmett was doing, but it was all interrupted again by a phone call from Alice. Jasper tossed me his phone so he could listen out the song.

"Come on over Alice, but we have to be really quiet since Jasper is here," I answered.

"Yeah right, like I could ever be quiet," she laughed with her high pitched giggle. "Hey, have you met the new girl?"

"A conversation or have I screwed her?" I asked.

"Isn't it the same thing with you?" Alice asked ,and then quickly added, "Put Jas on the line."

I tossed the phone back to Jasper and soon they left my room and let me finish up my homework. I tried to eat a bit of food, but my stomach was still resting from all the alcohol consumption. I was in bed by midnight and woke up bright and early Monday morning for the boring week at Forks high.

I drove into the parking lot fast and expected the naïve freshmen to get out of my way, but one person stopped right in the middle of the roadway, her eyes were wide with fear, like I would actually run her down.

"Get out of the fucking way," I screamed at her.

She hurried to clear my path and I shook my head and glared at her as I passed. I couldn't wait for this year to be over. I was so sick of this school and this town. I got out of my car and grabbed my backpack before heading to the picnic table just off of campus. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it before clearing school property. It was a big no no, but there wasn't a soul on campus with the guts to say anything.

Rose was sitting with Emmett and I decided to play with her mind a bit. "Hey, sweetheart, I missed you this weekend," I said, and held open my arms.

"Go blow yourself," she said, and put her arm around Emmett. I laughed and Emmett tried really hard not to smile, but failed miserably.

Alice was sitting straddled on Jasper and looked up at me with a smile, "Did you see the new girl?"

"Didn't we already have this conversation?" I asked. Alice was a bit ditzy, but I really liked her. I pulled her hair once in second grade and she dumped her entire tray on me in the cafeteria. From that moment on we were great friends.

"I think this one will be a challenge for you," she said as if stating a challenge.

I rolled my eyes and acted as disinterested as possible, but I had to admit she got me a little curious. I hadn't met a challenge yet. I had looks, great body, rich father, and a fast car, everything a teenage girl wants in a guy. But Forks was small and maybe this girl had everything she wanted in Arizona making the guys here mere shadows.

When the bell rang we headed into class. I had English first and noticed Lauren and Jessica gathered around a desk. It wasn't unusual; it was just usually my desk they gathered around. I walked to the back of the room and saw they were talking to a new girl, obviously Chief Swan's daughter.

"Edward," Jessica said, "Say hi to Bella Swan."

The girl turned to look at me and it was the same idiot from the parking lot. Her eyes narrowed a bit and she turned back to the front of the room. "Hey," I called out to embarrass her. She looked back and waited. "Next time keep walking, so you don't end up messing up the hood of my car."

Her face turned red and I was waiting for a pithy comeback, but she didn't answer and looked forward again. I stared at her dark hair the entire hour, she never looked back and she never spoke to anyone. It bugged me for some reason. When the bell rang she stood and took out her class schedule so I walked up behind her in the aisle.

"God, do you make it a habit to stand in my way?" I was going to smile at her when she turned to look at me, but she grabbed her backpack and rushed from the room without responding or even glancing at me. I was pissed, and interested as hell. Alice didn't need to offer me the challenge; I was offering it to myself.

I ran after her and grabbed her arm. "I was only teasing," I said, and purposefully stood a little too close.

Her mouth opened a couple of times but whatever she wanted to say it either wouldn't come out, or she decided not to say it, so she simply walked away. I headed to math and couldn't stop thinking about her. She was pretty, nothing outstanding like Rose, but she wasn't trying nearly as hard as Rose either. She had natural beauty and dressed in a simple casual way, not like she stepped from a runway like Alice.

Rose kicked my foot and I looked over at her. "Are you mad at Emmett?" she asked.

"Hell no, he's my best friend," I said honestly.

"So you don't care we're together?" she asked, and I noticed how sad she looked.

"No, I really don't care, get married, have babies, divorce and hate each other, I don't care."

"You're a hateful bastard," she said, and I smiled at how well she knew me.

I worked on homework during class so I would be free this evening. My parents were pretty lenient as long as I brought home good grades. I didn't have anything planned for the evening, but I would come up with something by the time school was out.

Third hour was science. I put my assignment on Mr. Banner's desk and headed to my table. I sat alone, since I work independently and usually a chapter or two ahead of the rest of the class. I watched as Bella entered the room. She walked to the teacher and he looked at a packet she handed him and then up at me. Ah shit.

They walked toward me and I wanted to lie across the table and cry, mine, mine, mine, like a baby. "Mr. Cullen," the teacher said, "You have some competition with Ms. Swan. She is further in the book than you are."

He found it funny, but I didn't. I liked my reputation as the guy who was naturally smarter than everyone else and I didn't need her here to mess it up for me. I reluctantly scooted over and she sat at the very edge of our shared table, almost like she was afraid of me. Maybe she was used to being smarter in Arizona and my presence worried her, too.

"I won't bite," I said, and watched her turn red. She continued to look away so I added, "Are you mute?"

"No," she said angrily. I waited for more but she didn't offer anything else.

"It's going to be a long fucking year if you refuse to speak to me," I said with a smile, trying to be charming, it obviously fell flat.

"I never said I refuse to speak to you," she mumbled, and looked at her hands as if they were a new discovery.

"Okay, you sit way over there and continue with your Helen Keller impersonation while I work on the lab that is due." Still, absolutely nothing from her so now I was getting really ticked. She wasn't the typical type of girl I went for, but the fact she acted like I didn't exist was making me a bit hard for her.

Halfway through the class Mr. Banner spoke. "Edward and Bella, you may leave while the others take a test." I gathered my stuff and she was out the door before I stood from my chair. I followed her and when she turned to go into the library I pulled her arm toward the picnic tables.

"If you go in there you'll get a bad reputation," I said, and she allowed me to lead her to the tables.

I pulled out a cigarette and took a long drag before staring at her uncomfortably. I was desperate to figure her out, but she remained a closed book.

"Did you leave a guy behind?" I asked, wondering if she was pissed about some dick in Arizona.

She finally looked right at me and said, "Look, I find you repulsive, your car is just an extension of your obviously lacking penis, you're bored in school so you act like a prick for attention, and smoking is disgusting, you might as well go lick a toilet. You are free to just ignore me and pretend my father never asked you to make me feel welcome, as far as you're concerned, I don't exist."

God, I was hot for her.

2

I knew I wouldn't see Bella during lunch; she was one of those who used the hour to actually eat something. Alice noticed how quiet I was and kicked my foot, "You met the new girl, didn't you?"

"What is with her?" I asked with disgust. "She's psychotic."

Alice only smiled and gave me a sideways glance. "She's different," she said, and that word meant something in Forks. Everything had been the same here since the giant forests were formed. Nothing changed and nothing new came to interests us poor souls stuck here.

"She'll make a great cop someday, the way she judges everyone like we are letting her down by not living up to some expectation she has filed away in her stupid brain," I said, and then realized everyone was looking at me during my rant. Man, the day was really starting to suck so I grabbed my shit and went to look for Lauren. She was always good for something in my car to relieve the stress.

I found her sitting with Bella and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. The table of girls looked up at me and giggled. "Lauren," I called out, and tossed my head to get her to come to me.

"What?" she called back and it really angered me. She knew what I wanted and was purposefully acting naïve, knowing I wouldn't say it out loud in front of the new girl.

"Come on," I said to prod her.

"For what?" she asked.

Now she did it, I wouldn't take her to my car if she begged me. Lauren just turned down her last invitation to my body. I stormed off and thought I heard the table laughing, but I couldn't be sure. I was sick of the affect the new girl was having on the population of Forks High, and something told me she knew exactly what she was doing.

I didn't see her again until last hour when she had P.E. at the same time I did. We were running on the track and I usually made sure to stay even with some hot girl, but today I just ran for the release of tension it was offering to me. I heard the sound of footsteps behind me and looked back to see Bella ready to overtake me.

"You're obviously a runner," I said, and then winced at how stupid it sounded. She didn't answer, no big shock here, and pulled up to my side and kept pace with me. I looked over at her often, but she never spoke and her face never changed its expression.

I vacillated between intrigue and absolute loathing for the girl during the run, but I had to admit she did peak my interest. I found myself wondering what she would feel like in my arms, if she was a good kisser or if she got wild during sex. When the whistle sounded she broke away from my side and ran to the locker room. I walked back trying to get her out of my head and convincing myself she was only interesting because she was a challenge.

I grabbed my stuff and headed to my car without showering or changing from my running clothes. I saw Rose talking with Bella, still in her running clothes, too. The one girl at Forks who never took crap from anyone was Rosalie Hale; I hoped she was telling Bella a thing or two. I also hoped she would have some insight into the new girl she would share with me.

I found Emmett waiting for Rose by his jeep so I walked over to wait with him, in case the Swan girl came up with Rose. We waited, like stupid saps and neither girl came. I finally got into my car and headed home.

My mom was working in the garden when I pulled up and waved at me. I found cookies on the table and I grabbed a few before heading to my room for a shower and fresh clothes. When I finally came downstairs for dinner my father was home. We all sat around the table eating silently until my dad asked, "Did you see Charlie's daughter today?"

"Forks High is pretty small, of course I saw her, she's a bitch."

"Edward," my mother said, but I knew it was only a reflex and she didn't care if her eighteen year old son used the word bitch.

"I heard some of the boys are pretty taken with her," dad said with a chuckle and I looked at him with contempt.

"She's new, everyone wants to be the first in her pants, that is the only attraction she has," I said with bitterness.

"But not you," my dad pushed.

"No, I have all the pussy I want," I said, and stood to leave the room in anger. I wasn't actually angry at my dad; we just couldn't seem to connect anymore. Everything he said or did pissed me off, so I tried to stay away from him. I never felt like I measured up in his eyes. He was a successful surgeon living out his fantasy of raising his child in a rural, safe environment. God, it was disgusting.

I got my keys and headed out to find Jasper or Emmett, hoping they weren't with Rose or Alice just yet. I saw Emmett's jeep at the pizza place so I pulled in. The place was full of guys but there weren't any girls around. "What's up?" I asked them, and Emmett put out his cigarette angrily.

"This town is so boring, I swear I think we're all dead and this is hell," he said, and sat back against the booth.

"Let's roll," I said and headed out to my car. Jasper got in front and Emmett got into the back. We drove toward First Beach and Jasper lit a joint and handed it to me. I felt better by the time we arrived and wasn't sure if it was the joint or the fact some girls were there.

We walked toward the large bon fire and I looked around for anyone I knew. I saw a few of the guys from La Push, the reservation a few miles south, but no girls from Forks were around. I decided to make do with what I had. I walked up to a pretty blonde and gave her my best smile. "Hi, Sweetheart, what's your name?"

"Sweetheart will do," she said back with a smile and I took her hand and led her away from the group. She was exactly what I was looking for, fast and simple. We went beyond the rocks and I pulled her against my chest and leaned over to kiss her. She laughed and pushed me back against the rocks.

"That isn't necessary," she said, and began removing my pants. Yes, she was exactly what I was looking for.

My head fell back and I closed my eyes as she went to work. I don't know why but the image of Bella came into my mind and I went with it. I was beyond excited; I was rock hard and needed to feel her in my arms. I put my hand in the girl's hair and she pushed it away. I wasn't trying to warn her, hell if she backed away she would get semen all over her face and I wouldn't give a damn, I just needed to feel something to go along with the visual in my head.

My hands pulled into fists and I was just about there when she stood up. I doubled over in pain her stopping caused me and looked at her with wild eyes. "What the fuck?" I yelled.

"Go home little boy," she said with a laugh and walked away. I didn't have a clue what was going on today, but the weirdness began with the new girl and something told me she was behind all of this. I grabbed my cigarettes and smoked as I tried to calm down. This let down was going to be physically painful and I wondered if I could get to Port Angeles and back in time for my curfew.

I found Emmett and Jasper in a mood just as bad as mine. Their girls weren't answering their calls and we were too stubborn to go by their houses, so we ended up going home. I got in the shower to finish what the bitch started and my fucked up mind took me right back to Bella. This time I didn't long to hold her. I pounded into her with everything I had, using my body to punish her for coming into my mind. It was the best shower I ever had.

I slept like a baby and showed up the next day ready to take on the mysterious Bella Swan. She wasn't messing me up again; I knew how to handle her kind. I pulled into the parking lot and she was walking slowly in the middle of the road again. I slowed down and watched her make her way to the other side of the road before squealing past her.

I got out and slammed my door and headed right for her. She looked up at me with large innocent eyes and it dampened my anger just a bit. "Walk faster," I yelled.

"What?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"When you get out of your car, walk faster so you don't get hit," I said, and realized how crazy I sounded. I wasn't the school appointed crossing guard, why did I care how fast she walked?"

Her head fell as her face reddened and I let go of her arm. This wasn't the person ruining my game. I had built her into something she wasn't and walked away before the poor thing wet her pants. I headed right to the picnic tables and saw Alice and Rose, even Lauren.

I sighed with relief and pulled out a cigarette before asking, "What did you do last night?"

"Nothing," Lauren said and shrugged.

"You should have called, so we could do…something," I said, and winked at her.

"If you want to see me, you call," she said, and the freaky alternate universe shit was starting again.

I looked over at Emmett and Jasper and both guys looked pissed, or stunned, or something. But they didn't look happy. I tossed my cigarette and got out of there. My ego needed a boost so I looked for some unsuspecting underclassman to give attention to. I walked into the commons area and found Bella talking and laughing with a group of younger girls.

I took a seat and simply watched. The shy embarrassed girl didn't exist anymore and a girl able to hold everyone's fascination took her place. When the bell rang everyone headed in different directions and my eyes connected with Bella's. She dropped her head and blushed but I wasn't buying it.

I waited for her to get to the door and said, "Nice, I get it now."

She glanced at me and kept walking so I followed behind, matching her step for step. She entered our English class and sat at her desk where I stopped and waited for her to look up. "I'd say you have two weeks tops before they figure out you're a fraud, use the time wisely."

"Edward," she said very softly, and I leaned down to hear her better, so she raised her mouth to my ear and said with her hot breath, "Go to hell."

I got instantly hard and walked to my seat to stare at the back of her damn head as I stewed over her words. I knew I should be angry or at least simply annoyed at her attempts to control me, but I was growing frantic in my need for her.

She had to have a weakness and I was determined to find it. She seemed to blush easily so maybe if I embarrassed her in front of the class she would stop messing with my head. I broke off a piece of my eraser and tossed it at her head.

She turned and I spread my arms wide and said, "What?"

Her attention went back to the material on the board so I whispered loudly, "Bella."

When she turned again I was reading my own book and didn't look up. The kid across from me chuckled and I knew Bella was getting pissed. I finally stuck my foot out and ran it along the back of the chair across her ass and she jumped forward making a loud noise with the chair and getting the teacher's attention.

"Is there a problem Ms. Swan," the teacher asked, and I smiled until Bella shocked the hell out of me yet again.

"Edward Cullen wants my attention, do you mind if I turn and ask him what he wants?"

The entire class turned to look at me and I felt my own face redden. Bella turned in her seat and asked loudly, "What is it you want?"

Now it was her turn to be stunned when I said very loudly, "I want you to return to Arizona."

"Mr. Cullen," the teacher yelled." That was extremely rude, why don't you finish your assignment in the library."

I grabbed my stuff and got out of there as fast as I could. The girl was a demon, Satan's spawn and I wanted nothing to do with her. I didn't go to the library, but home instead. I told my mother I was feeling sick and she called the school to get me excused for the day. I was lying on my bed listening to music when my mother knocked on the door.

"I'm resting," I yelled out, and she opened the door anyway.

"Someone is here to see you," she said and I nodded. I hoped Jasper brought his 'brownies' because I really needed something to relax me right now.

I had on my headphones and my knees were bent with my feet on the mattress as I used my hands for drums. I glanced over at the door and almost shit myself when I saw Bella walk in. I had a million thoughts going through my head and I couldn't form a sentence. She shut my door and walked up to my bed where I sat.

"Why did you leave school?" she asked.

"What?" I said stupidly, but her presence and question had me flustered.

"Do you want me to say it slower?" she asked, and continued to stare at me.

"I don't want shit from you," I yelled, "Get the fuck out of my room."

She smiled, like I had asked her to join me for an ice cream and when she leaned in closely my damn pecker got hard again. She climbed up on my bed and sat on her knees as I stared like it was the first time I had a girl in my bed. I couldn't even list all the girls who had been in her exact spot.

"Why did you leave school?" she asked again and I looked over at my door, wishing it was locked.

"I didn't feel well," I said, and swallowed deeply.

"Do you want me to make you feel better?" she asked.

I let my hand rise slowly and move into her hair. It was silky and I couldn't stop myself from leaning in to smell it, strawberries, her hair smelled like strawberries, and I was suddenly ravenous. I moved my mouth to her jaw and kissed her very softly. She inhaled and I let my kisses work toward her mouth when she asked again, "Do you want me to make you feel better?"

"Oh God, yes," I sighed, and she pulled back.

"You lied," she said loudly and my eyes shot open.

"What?" I asked.

"You lied," she said again and climbed off the bed. "You said you didn't want shit from me, but you do, don't you Edward? You want everything from me. You want me to show up in your dreams and your fantasies, you want me to climb into your bed and do you at lunch in the parking lot, all to stop your balls from aching. What are you willing to give me?"

"I…um…we could…"

"You work on that answer," she said, and left the room. I listened to her walk down the stairs and my anger fueled me forward. I jumped from my bed and ran after her. I was barefoot and ran out the door onto the warm pavement just as she was about to climb into an old truck.

"If I'm so stupid why don't you tell me what you want? Obviously there is something you are after to drive all the way out here to make your point."

"I want you to stop treating girls like your personal grooming kit. I want you to stop trying to come on to me like a dick and act like a man. I want you to grow up Edward Cullen," she yelled, and my mouth fell open in rage.

"You don't have a clue what you're talking about. I have no interest in you at all aside from being classmates. You showed up at my house, love."

"See, that right there, I'm not your love, or any other pet name you come up with. Guys like you are a dime a dozen and we are sick of it."

"We?" I asked.

"Yeah, the entire female population of Forks, good luck finding a one night stand, unless you guys step it up, we're done with all of you."

"Be my guest," I yelled with wide eyes and an almost hysterical sound to my voice. "None of you are worth it; Port Angeles has tighter pussy, anyway."

She jumped from her truck and grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pushed me back against her fender. She was quite strong for a skinny girl. Her mouth attached to mine and I lost all thought. My arms wrapped around her tightly and ran down over her ass as she plunged her tongue into my mouth. My body needed her in my bed and I began pulling her with me toward the house.

She finally pulled back completely as I struggled to catch my breath and moved away from my excited body. "Believe me, I'm worth it," she said, and climbed in her truck to drive away.

3

I stayed home the rest of the week, pretending to be sick but really stewing over Bella. She messed with my heart and body, and even my sanity. I couldn't even pretend to think about other girls, going to Port Angeles was not even a possibility.

By Friday rumors were going around town that I had developed an STD. I didn't think things could possibly get any worse. I got the approval of my father to attend the school football game by telling him over and over again I was feeling much better.

I showed up and found Jasper and Emmett without their women. They were tired of the games going on as much as I was. We decided to ignore the girls and make them think we had moved on to college women. We left the student section of the bleachers and stood on the far side of the fence.

"You really think Bella is behind all of this, I mean, the girl never speaks," Emmett said.

"Oh, she speaks," I said angrily.

"I wonder if she was such a bitch in Arizona," Jasper asked, and I laughed and gave him a big bear hug.

"You are a genius Jasper Whitlock. I may just let you do my mother for this," I laughed, and he grinned from ear to ear. The key to all of Bella's secrets were in Arizona and it would be easy enough to find somebody on Facebook willing to spill about her.

I felt better by simply having a plan to work on. We watched the game and grew bored by halftime and decided to move on. "Let's head to Port Angeles," I said, and both guys hesitated.

"Come on, are you going to hang around here while your women ignore you? Stop being pussys and let's get out of here."

We got into Emmett's jeep and headed out of town. We were usually in a great mood on the weekend but we drove in silence, each of us thinking about a girl back in Forks. We pulled into the parking lot where a bunch of students from Port Angeles were gathered. A girl I had done a few weeks back walked over to me.

"Remember me?" she asked.

"Absolutely, how are you, sweetheart?" I had no idea what her name was but sweetheart would suffice.

"Better now, do you want to see my new car?"

I looked at Jasper and Emmett and smiled. "Sure, show me your new car." She took my hand and led me to a car parked in the shadows. I got in the passenger side and let the seat recline back. I looked over at her and held out my arms so she climbed on top of me.

"Are you going to call me?" she asked, and I pulled her to my mouth and kissed her passionately hoping she would forget her question and not notice I didn't answer her. Things were heating up quickly and out of the blue Bella's face entered my mind. Her kisses were nothing like Bella's and I pushed her away from my mouth.

She moved to my neck and continued grinding on me as I tried to find the mood again. I finally closed my eyes tightly and let Bella's image take over for the girl panting on top of me. "Yes," I said and arched up to give her more. "Ah, so good," I moaned and the girl began removing my pants.

"Oh God," I cried out as she connected with me riding me hard and fast. I held onto her ass moving her in opposition to my hips. I was so fucking hard and knew I was grunting loudly, but all I could see was Bella's head fallen back, her breasts moving with each thrust I gave her.

"I'm gonna cum," I yelled out and she never moved.

"I'm on the pill," she gasped and I lost it as I screamed out Bella's name.

"Stephanie," she said angrily.

"What?" I asked as my chest heaved.

"My name is Stephanie, you ass," she said and climbed off of me. I zipped up my pants and got out of the car before looking over with a smile.

"Cool new car, Stephanie," I said and walked away.

I found Jasper and Emmett talking on their cell phones and when I got into the jeep they both got in, too. I could tell they were talking to Alice and Rose and I suddenly felt empty and alone. I didn't want Rose back, she was a much better fit with Emmett, but I wanted a relationship besides a quick fuck in a car. We drove back to Forks in silence.

The football game was over and people were hanging out in the parking lot. I got into my car and headed home. I could tell my parents were stunned to see me home by ten on a Friday night, but they didn't ask about it. I got on my computer and looked up a Facebook account for Bella Swan. I found nothing. I used all sorts of variations of her name and couldn't come up with a Myspace or Facebook account. What teenager didn't have a Facebook?"

I finally got into bed and tried to sleep without dreaming of the girl who was turning my life upside down. Saturday I got up and mowed the lawn, causing my father to check for a fever. I was trying to pass time until Monday, something I never tried to do since turning thirteen.

By Saturday night I figured the only way to get her out of my head was to knock on her door and have an actual conversation with her. It seemed to be something she would appreciate, and if Charlie was on duty maybe I could bang her lights out before leaving.

I pulled up to see Charlie's squad car in the garage and Bella's truck in the driveway. Maybe she would want to go on a drive or something. I screwed in my courage and walked up to the door and knocked. Bella answered and then quickly stepped onto the porch and pulled the door shut.

"What do you want?" she asked softly, giving me the impression she had some dude inside waiting for her.

"I wanted to see if you needed someone to show you around Forks…you know, give you the tour?" I said with a big smile on my face.

"I've been here every summer since I was little," she said, and rolled her eyes.

I wondered why I never ran into her at the ball field, the only place to hang during the summer. She glanced back at the house again so I came out with it. "Do you have company?"

"No, I was watching a movie with my dad," she said, but I could tell she was lying.

"Can I watch with you?" I asked, and she paled and looked at the ground. "Fine, I tried it your way and you shot me down. Will you stay out of my life now?" I asked in anger, but I was actually feeling a bit embarrassed.

She bit her lip and acted like she was trying to work something out in her mind. "I'm sorry, it isn't a good time, I wasn't shooting you down." She quickly went back into the house, leaving me standing on the porch like a chump. It was a good thing Chief Swan was there or I would have kicked the door down.

I headed home and went right to my bedroom and slammed the door so hard a picture in the hallway fell from the wall. My father opened my door to check on me and I yelled, "What?"

"I was just checking to see if you were okay," he said, and shut the door again.

I took off my shoes then threw them at the door before falling onto my bed angrily. The girl was driving me insane and I needed to get her out of my head. I decided I would find out what her deal was no matter what it took. I would break into her house if I had to.

Later in the night Emmett and Jasper showed up, both as pissed as I was. "We picked up the girls and when we didn't have anything planned they made us take them home," Emmett said. "Shit, we live in Forks, what plans are we supposed to make?"

"It's Bella, she came in here and messed up their heads," I said, and they both nodded.

"I'm not dumping tons of money on Alice, hell, her father makes more money in a month than my single mother makes all year," Jasper said as he shook his head.

"We need to do something, teach Bella a lesson," I said.

"Her dad will haul us in and I have tons of shit under my bed," Jasper pointed out.

"We won't do anything obvious, stuff we can put off as coincidence. Act as if she's some crazy bitch if she complains," I said, already coming up with some ideas. Maybe Bella could convince the females of the school to do things her way, but I had plenty of the guys who would jump if I asked.

By Monday morning my plan was in place. I drove to school in anticipation and wished I could bring a camera to film the entire thing. I got to school earlier than usual and waited for Bella's truck to pull into the lot. She got out and a group of guys blocked her path as they stood at the back of the vehicles to talk. She turned around and another group blocked the front of the vehicle.

She tried to push past them but they stood firm and ignored her pleas to get past. I watched for a few minutes and then got out of my car and walked past. I nodded and the guys broke apart and let her through. She walked angrily to the school and we all laughed.

She came to English and looked at me with wide eyes. "Is this because I wouldn't let you watch a movie with me?"

"What are you talking about; I was out with Emmett and Jasper Saturday night?"

She walked over to Lauren and asked to borrow a pencil, since she wasn't able to get to her locker due to some guys blocking access. I couldn't help but chuckle and she turned to glare at me. I knew we had her on the ropes and she would break by the end of the week so we could all have our girls back.

After English I headed to the parking lot and drove to her house, skipping second hour. The squad car wasn't there and I went to the back of the house and tried the door. Nobody in Forks locked their door, but you would think a cop would do better.

I headed up the stairs and looked in each room. I saw a bathroom, the chief's room and a room for a little child. Bella's room must be downstairs; surely she wasn't staying in a room that remained the same since she was a kid.

I went back downstairs and looked around for another room, but there wasn't one. I was going to go back upstairs and take pictures with my camera to spread around the school, but the front door opened, sending me into the washroom to hide. My heart was pounding and I could hear Charlie talking to someone, a child.

"Run to the kitchen and get your pack, you don't want to be late," he said.

"Don't weave me gwampa."

"I won't leave you," he said with a chuckle.

I heard them exit the house again and the sound of a car driving off before I came out of my hiding place. I went up the stairs and looked inside the child's room again. It was covered in pictures of Bella and a little girl. I picked up a frame next to the bed and it showed the girl sitting in front a cake with two candles.

"Oh God," I mumbled, and picked up the next picture that said, _Mommy and her Princess_, across the top of the frame and it had Bella holding a baby. I felt like I was going to be sick. I had set up a slew of things for guys to do to mess with her today and I had to find a way to stop it.

I ran across the street to my car and drove back to the school. It was almost time for science and I grabbed Mike and Eric and told them to spread the word to cancel all the shit we had planned. I waited at the table for Bella and she walked in looking tense and flustered. She sat down and opened her book without speaking or looking at me.

"Hey," I said, "I'm sorry. It was stupid and I won't do it again."

Her jaw tensed and she nodded slightly.

"Bella," I said softly and she turned to look at me. "I…um…what you're doing….I mean, I think you're brave."

"You think I'm brave to demand respect from guys?" she asked, and I cringed and shook my head.

"No, it makes sense now that I know, but it didn't when I just thought you were messing with us, getting our girls all angry and shit."

"Now that you know what?" she asked, and I could see her lip shaking.

"I won't tell anyone," I said, and watched her eyes fill with tears. "Oh God, don't cry, I'm not trying to make you cry," I said, and she looked down as a tear fell onto her hand.

I raised my hand and asked if Bella and I could watch a film in the library for the next chapter. She gathered her things and walked toward the parking lot. I followed her and she turned to look at me.

"What do you want, Edward. I made my point and you made yours. Please, leave me alone."

"I want to tell you I get it, I really do. I think I…."

She chuckled and shook her head before challenging me. "Tell me if I'm wrong, the last girl you had sex with was either in a car or at the beach. You don't know her last name, or care to know it. She told you she is on the pill and you never thought to question a girl you don't know, so if she shows up pregnant with your baby you have no problem signing away your parental rights, I mean, it's her fault anyway, right?"

I felt like she punched me or was somehow following me. Her assumption was dead on and she could tell by the look on my face she got it right. I let her walk away and headed over to the picnic tables to smoke. I felt really awful for everything I had said and everything I had done to get even with her. She was right and I saw myself clearly for once.

I heard some commotion and looked over to see some boys blocking the sidewalk so she couldn't pass. She didn't fight it; she just stood there waiting with tears streaming down her face as they laughed at her. I jumped up from the table and ran to her rescue.

"Look Bella, just go home and I'll fix all of this. I'm sorry, I really am."

For a moment I thought she was going to fight my suggestion but she suddenly turned and left school for the day. I sat in my classes and missed her. It wasn't like she actually socialized with me, but just knowing she wasn't there made me feel a sense of loss. I talked to as many guys as possible to stop the Bella bashing I had put into place. I wasn't sure if it would take a while so I decided to be her protector until everything got back to normal.

When school ended I showered after gym and got dressed to head over to see Bella. I hoped she would let me in and possibly let me meet her daughter. I couldn't imagine being a parent at our age, but she seemed to be able to handle it.

I was relieved to see Charlie wasn't there and as I walked to the front door I heard giggling in the back yard. I walked to the back of the house to see Bella lying on a blanket reading a book as a small child played in a sandbox.

I watched for a few moments as Bella read aloud a book about a bunny. When she finished I began walking toward her. The child saw me first and when she looked up at me Bella turned to see what she was looking at.

"Hi," I said to both of them.

Bella jumped up and I noticed how her face blushed as she struggled with something to say. I decided to put her out of her misery and speak first. "I think I took care of everything. If not, please let me know and I'll handle it."

"Thanks," she said, and I looked over at her daughter. "Um…I don't really introduce her to….not that I think we…."

"Yeah, I understand," I said, and felt stupid for intruding on her time with her daughter. "I'll see you tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

4

I had met a lot of people in my life. We traveled as a family and had a vacation home in Brazil, so I was fluent in Portuguese, but I never met anyone who had such an immediate impact on my behavior. I got home and for the first time in years I didn't go right to my room. I walked onto the back deck and sat down across from my mother.

"Is there a problem?" she asked, and I could tell by the look in her eyes she was bracing herself for something.

"No, I just wanted to talk," I said, and she looked at me sideways as if she didn't believe me. "How did you and dad meet?"

She laughed and covered her mouth with her hand for a moment. "It isn't a very proper story," she admitted and I felt my mouth fall open. I couldn't imagine my parents ever being anything but proper. "Your father was my physician," she said.

"He hit on a patient?" I asked with wide eyes.

"No, he told me to leave the son of a bitch I was married to and find a guy who would worship me." She ignored my gasp and shrugged. "So I did."

I was suddenly worried about who my actual father was, but I looked so much like Carlisle Cullen he was certainly my biological dad. Of course he would worship my mother, she was beautiful and so kind, everyone loved her, especially Jasper.

"Do you think it would have been different if you had a child already?" I asked and she gave it some thought before speaking.

"I think I would have been different. It took me awhile to trust men, but I would have been a lot more guarded if I had a child to protect, too."

"Did you know Bella Swan has a child?" I asked, and could tell by her surprise she didn't know, "A two year old."

"Oh my God, the poor thing, she is very young to be raising a child," my mom said with sad eyes.

"It has me weirded out," I admitted. "Like a big dose of reality. I mean, I sit with this girl in class and she is advanced at everything, but she goes home and takes care of a child while I run around acting like a child."

My mother laughed and nodded her head, agreeing with my assessment of my juvenile behavior.

"Edward, are you infatuated with this girl?" she asked me pointedly.

"Different," I said. "Different in Forks is intriguing, that's all." I didn't believe the words out of my mouth and wondered if she did. Bella was more than intriguing, she was owning me at the moment and I needed to get her out of my head, but her words echoed constantly….I'm worth it.

I headed upstairs to do some homework, determined to get ahead enough in science so Bella and I would have free time. I was working hard when my father opened the door. "We've been calling you for dinner."

"Sorry, I was studying and didn't hear you," I said, and stood to follow him. He remained in my path and looked as if he needed to tell me something. "What, dad?"

"I knew about Bella," he said, and watched me closely for a reaction.

"I wish you would have clued me in. I was pretty brutal to her," I admitted shamefully.

He continued to watch my eyes as his hand remained on my doorknob so I couldn't get past him. "I hope you can be mature about this and keep it quiet?" he finally said.

"It's going to get out in a town this small," I said as I rolled my eyes. Hell, I wasn't Jessica Stanley, the town crier, but as soon as she finds out the entire town would know Bella as the harlot who ran off to escape her bad reputation. It sickened me to think about what she would be put through.

"I'm confident she can handle herself, I just don't want you adding anymore pressure," he said and finally let go of the knob. I was going to argue with him and tell him I wasn't a prick out to hurt her, but until a few hours ago, I was.

We went downstairs to eat and I stayed to help my mom do dishes. She smiled the entire time, making me feel even worse for the way I treated her for most of the past three years. After dinner Emmett and Jasper came over telling me they were dumping their girls for their attitude.

"What's the last date you took Alice on?" I asked Jasper, and with a really pissy voice, too.

"She won't even get into my car, what do you mean date?" he yelled back at me.

"I'm not talking about going to the beach to screw or into your car for a quickie, but a real date."

"I took her to the concert on the fourth of July," he said to prove me wrong.

"So, two months ago you took her to a concert. Once every two months you do something for her, but she is supposed to service you whenever you ask for it?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jasper yelled, and I realized I was sounding just like Bella. I walked over to fall onto my bed and took a deep breath.

"I'm realizing what a schmuck I've been and how I treat girls. My father told my mother to divorce a guy like me. I don't want to lose my wife to her doctor because he knows how to treat a woman and I don't."

"We're in high school dickface," Emmett said. "It is our time to be schmucks."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, but if we don't learn respect now, will it come naturally later? Rose cheated on me with you Emmett, if you don't treat her better she'll do the same thing to you."

It got his attention. I was starting to believe Emmett was actually really in love with her because he suddenly sat down and began processing everything. We were sitting in my room on a Monday night talking about how to treat women, when we usually were out screwing them. It was our very first step into becoming men and it was scarier than losing our virginity.

"I'm not sure how this is supposed to work," Jasper finally said. "I like Alice and I enjoy being with her, but I don't want to take her to a movie and then just drop her off, and I'm not about to put a ring on her finger either."

"I don't know, lets invite them over here and do something, like play cards and make shakes," I offered not sure if they were going to laugh at me or profess my brilliance.

"And then fuck on the way home?" Emmett asked seriously and I wasn't sure what the answer was.

"Who are you inviting?" Jasper asked when he realized Emmett was now dating my girl.

"Oh, um…I'll find someone," I said and hoped they didn't push me any further. If Bella said no I would try Lauren.

"We can't drink or get high if we do something here," Jasper said thinking he found a reason to forget the whole dating plan.

"That is the point of having it here; we stay clear and actually have a conversation with them. I don't know if this will be a good thing or a bad thing, but it is what the girls want so let's give it a try," I suggested and they all nodded. "Okay, ask them tomorrow for a group date Friday night and then stay away from them all week. See if it is really what they want after all."

Emmett got a huge grin on his face and said, "This feels like some secretive James Bond type of shit."

"God, you're an idiot," Jasper said and walked over to put on some music.

I was nervous as hell the next day. I had asked girls out before, but it was usually for a trip to the beach or a hookup at a party. I never actually spent an entire evening with a chick that didn't involve sex. Adding Bella into the mix had me extra tense. I waited outside of English, but she was with too many girls so I waited for Science. I turned in the labs, adding Bella's name to the papers and stopped her before she could get inside the class door.

"We don't have to go today, can I talk to you?" I asked, and I could hear the nerves in my own voice. We started walking and I suddenly realized I had nowhere to take her. She called smoking disgusting, so the picnic tables were out. I considered my car, but she would get the wrong impression, so I just stopped right in the middle of the quad.

"I would like to ask you for a date on Friday night. It would be with two other couples and we would go to my house and play cards and make milk shakes, or we could do something else if you have a better idea," I quickly added in case she found the plans lame.

She didn't respond and my heart was beating out of my chest. She stared at me as if trying to find the angle and I simply waited for her rejection. She finally said very softly, "What time?"

"Oh, well, um, we didn't really talk about a time but around seven, maybe?"

She glanced around and leaned in closer to talk. I could smell her strawberry hair and it made me hard so I took a step back. She looked hurt and her jaw tightened so I decided to be honest. "I could smell your hair, it smells like strawberries, so I thought I should give you some space," I said and watched her entire face soften, man, this honesty shit was great.

"I was going to say I usually don't do anything on Fridays so I can spend time with my daughter. But if you make it eight she'll be in bed."

A wide grin formed on my face and I felt a bit like a dick, she only agreed to play cards and a milk shake, but I felt like she agreed to spend an entire weekend in my bed. I think she knew what I was thinking because she reached out and smacked me on the arm.

"Who else will be there?" she asked.

"Emmett and Rose, Alice and Jasper."

"I like Alice and Rose," she said with a smile and I wanted to touch her so badly.

We stood there in the middle of the quad and I wasn't sure what to do. I told Emmett and Jasper to come to the parking lot after asking the girls, but I had no escape, it would be rude to just walk away from her. I finally said something I had never said the entire time I was a student at Forks High, "Do you want to go to the library?"

She smiled and nodded so I led her toward the place I had never entered. I walked in and found a table in the back and led her to it. She pulled out some books from her pack, but I just sat and watched her until she looked up and blushed. "Don't you have homework?"

"No, I do mine after school. I try to stay ahead so…." I realized I stayed ahead so I could party all weekend and not worry about slipping grades due to hangovers. I stopped talking and dropped my head shamefully.

"I do mine at school, so I can spend time with my daughter," she shared without judging me.

"What's her name?" I asked, and instantly wondered if I overstepped her boundaries. I realized she never used her daughter's name and I stupidly asked her. "It's none of my business," I added.

Bella sat quietly as she stared at me and when she spoke it was in a quiet voice. "Her name is Jamie. I know it is going to become common knowledge sooner or later, I just can't stand the thought of people making fun of her or trying to lash out at me by using her."

It was the exact thing I would have done a week ago, but I would beat the shit out of anyone doing it now. "She's really cute," I said and Bella smiled proudly.

"My dad is so amazing to take us both in, God, how do you repay something like that?" she asked and I realized in one second all the stuff my parents did for me and I never once thought to repay them. I assumed it was their duty to provide everything I wanted, but Bella opened my eyes once again.

I saw her staring as I worked through all the indulgences I had so I smiled and explained. "I think I need to mow the lawn for once."

She laughed and it got me hard again. "Yeah, I bet you do," she said and finally opened her book to start on her homework.

"Bella," I said to interrupt her one last time. She looked up and I smiled causing her to smile back. "I'm looking forward to Friday night."

"Me, too," she added and went back to her book.

I met the guys at my car during lunch and they were both smiling. "You're a genius Cullen," Jasper teased. "Alice was ready to jump me at the thought of having a date; this will pay off big time."

"It isn't the pay off that matters, it is changing the way we act to show them a little respect," I said, trying to educate him, but I had to admit when I was out of Bella's presence I was thinking of the pay off, too.

"Rose wants to know if she should bring anything, should I tell her to bring condoms?" Emmett asked honestly.

"You don't get it, there will be no sex Friday," I said, and maybe I was saying it because I knew there would be no sex for me, so I didn't want them getting any either. I felt a bit sorry for my friends. I wouldn't have to be strong since Bella would put a stop to any moves I came up with, but they were actually taking a step backward in a relationship and that was always difficult.

Emmett thought for a moment and then looked at both Edward and Jasper, "I'm gonna beat off before I come over, are you?"

"Probably," Jasper said.

"No," I said and pulled a cigarette from my pocket to relax, because just thinking about her got me hot, yeah, I would beat off too.

When the bell rang we climbed out of my car and I said, "Remember, no contact until Friday, use any excuse you can think of."

It was hard to keep my own rule when we had to play volleyball with the girls in gym and Bella and I were put on the same team. Mike Newton flirted with her constantly, but she never responded and actually acted a little pissed by his attention. I kept my cool and stayed away, but I did catch her looking at me a couple of times.

It was all working great, until Jessica decided to give me some unwanted attention. She stood directly across from me at the net and shook her tits at me. I would have ignored her, but she did have great tits. I smiled and then looked away so she said softly, "Want to touch them?"

"I've got the feel memorized," I said, and she laughed.

I gave her body and quick scan and then looked over to see Bella watching me. I tried to act casual about it, but she continued to stare, telling me she was aware of what was going on. I felt cheap and not worth her time, maybe I should stick to my type, like Stanley, she was definitely my type.

The bell rang and Bella turned to leave just as Jessica came up to rub her chest against me. I pretended it was unintentional, and moved her to my side before saying, "Excuse me, Jess. I didn't mean to run into you."

I jogged off to catch up with Bella. I felt the need to explain, something I never felt a need for in my life. "Hey," I said to get her to stop walking. "I just wanted to say, I'm trying."

"Excuse me?" she asked, and I suddenly felt too presumptuous. I asked her on a date, we weren't in a relationship, so I didn't need to explain shit.

"Sorry," I said and then exhaled loudly in frustration for apologizing. "I mean, nothing, just nothing."

I turned to leave and she grabbed my arm so I looked back at her. She gave me a very slight smile and said, "I know you're trying, it shows."

She noticed, and she could tell I was trying to change. Her words sent a huge ass smile across my face and I walked backward to watch her head into the locker room.

5

I was really hopeful I could be the person Bella would want me to be. I felt strong and like some inner compass had shifted. I came home from school and saw the lawn service had just cut the yard, so I headed to the garden to see if there was something I could do there. My mother kept it weed free, so I finally made my way to my room.

I worked on homework but it was hard to focus when every thought I had was about Bella. When my dad called me to dinner I was shocked to see the Denali's were over. They had a daughter my age who attended a private school in Port Angeles. She was hot as hell and actually told a guy what she wanted during sex, and thanked him when he gave it to her. I don't know why, but her manners always made me hotter for her.

She smiled and came over to give me a hug, pressing herself against me. "Hi Tanya," I said and she pulled me over to sit next to her. I could smell her expensive perfume and relished the feel of her breast against my arm.

"How's school?" she asked, and stared at my lips as she waited for a response.

"Senior year," I said, and smiled as I licked my lips. "Big man on campus"

"I'm sure you are," she said and looked down.

It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to know she was having a very definite affect on my body. Her looks, her smell, her voice, everything about her turned me on. I was ready to take her to my room when we were called to the table.

She followed me and after sitting she moved her hand to my lap and made a fast sweep over my cock. I moved my arm to rest along the back of her chair, giving her full access to my body as I played with her hair.

Our parents made small talk and when they finally finished eating and took their coffee back to the living room I led Tanya to my room. She ran and jumped onto my bed as I locked the door. "I love visiting the Cullens," she said with a laugh.

I pulled off my shirt and climbed onto my bed and began removing her shirt. She wrapped her legs around me and the pressure she gave my aching cock was euphoric. I began kissing her neck and moving down her chest when my phone rang.

"Shit," I said and pulled it from my pocket. I expected it to be Emmett or Jasper, but it was a number I didn't recognize. "Yeah," I yelled into the phone.

"Edward," I heard a soft voice I didn't know.

"What?" I responded with harshly.

"It's Bella," she said and I heard her begin to cry. I jumped away from Tanya as if she was poison, which was exactly what she was to me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Can you come over, please," she begged. I grabbed my shirt and threw it back on as I told her I would be right there.

I ran from my room, without offering an explanation and jumped in my car speeding toward Bella's house. I noticed Charlie wasn't there and Bella was sitting on the front porch in tears. She looked up and smiled, "You didn't need to rush."

I looked down to see I had my shirt on inside out. I laughed and pulled it over my head and fixed it as Bella looked away. I wanted to ask her to look at my body, to show me some sign she wanted me, but her tears brought me back to reality. I sat next to her and put my arm around her awkwardly. "What's wrong?"

Her head shot up and she looked at me with a horrified expression. "I'm sorry; you should have told me you had company." She stood and I grabbed her arm. I didn't know how she knew but I did not want to lie to her.

"My parents had some family friends over for dinner," I said, and she shook her head and narrowed her eyes at me.

"You smell like Flower Bomb, I guess the family friends like expensive perfume." She walked up the stairs and I called out for her as she reached for the knob. She wasn't just going inside; I was losing my opportunity to make her mine, because I was such a stupid fuck.

"Nothing happened," I said and saw the disbelief in her eyes. "Nothing happened because you called and I rushed right over. I would rather be here, than with her in my bed."

She shook her head and chuckled at my audacity. "You are such an ass," she said and opened the door.

"You called," I said quickly and she turned back to look at me again. "You called, why?"

"Look at my truck," she said and when I turned she closed the door. I walked over to get a closer look and saw it was covered in condoms and gel. Somebody was still messing with her and I needed to find out who it was.

I pulled off the condoms and got the hose from the side of her house to clean off the writing. I was growing angry by the words they called her and pulled off my own shirt to use as a wash cloth. I put the hose away and walked to my car as hope drained from my heart. I sat in my car and looked at the house just in time to see the upstairs curtain shut quickly.

I drove home slowly, grateful the Denalis were gone when I pulled into the garage. I walked into the house and my mother looked at my bare chest and sighed in disappointment. "I used my shirt to clean off a vehicle," I said, but didn't explain any further.

I went to my room and fell onto my bed, which reeked with Tanya's perfume. I got up and changed my sheets before taking a shower and getting back in bed. I was thinking about Bella, wondering if she would keep our date on Friday or refuse me forever. I suddenly realized I had her number now.

I grabbed my phone and sent her a text. _Will you still go out with me Friday…PLEASE._

She texted back. _Thank you for cleaning my truck, it wasn't why I called._

_I'm going to take care of it_. I told her.

I never heard back and wondered if she was going to see if I would keep my word before deciding on our date. I waited on the sidewalk the next morning before school, stopping everyone to find out who messed with her truck. I was told Ben Johnson was behind it.

I headed to the lockers and saw Ben standing with some guys talking. I planned on having a conversation with him, not a fight. He played football and wouldn't want to be benched by fighting in school. I walked up and tapped on his shoulder so he turned to face me.

"Did you mess with Bella's truck?" I asked, and tried to keep my voice even.

"What if I did?" he asked, and raised his chin in defiance.

"I'm asking you to leave her alone, and I only plan on asking once," I said, and moved a bit closer to him.

"What is she to you?" he asked, and I could tell the thought of Bella being involved with me angered him a bit.

"A friend?" I said.

"Sure you don't mean a possible daddy?" he laughed and turned to laugh with his friends.

My arm shot out as a reflex and I hit him on the side of the head causing him to fall forward. I grabbed his shirt and threw him against the wall so I could punch him again. We were pulled apart by Emmett and Mike and everyone was gathering to watch the confrontation.

"Leave her alone or you'll have to deal with me," I said angrily.

"I'm trying to do you a favor, Cullen. Do you really want to be trapped with another guy's kid and whore?"

I tried to get free of Emmett but he held on tightly and pulled me further down the hall. "I'm warning you Johnson, don't even breathe around her, you fucker."

I looked up to see Bella standing outside our English class. I jerked away from Emmett and watched as tears filled her eyes. I was so stupid, and my need to protect her just spread her secret to most of the school. I realized people were already finding out, but I rushed it by fighting with Ben in front of most of the school.

I walked toward her and she stared at me the whole way as she cried. I was ready to cry myself when I finally reached her. "I'm sorry," I said, and it sounded so lame.

"It's to be expected," she said softly.

"I wish I knew how to spare you from the gossip and pettiness," I said honestly and she smiled a little.

"I wish you did, too," she said and turned to head into the classroom.

Everyone stared at her and Jessica and Lauren stayed at their own desks, which really pissed me off. She kept her head down and tried to ignore the stares and whispers. I didn't know how she did it; I grew angrier as the hour passed.

When the bell rang I stood at her desk until she looked up at me. "Ready?" I asked.

"For what?"

"I'm walking you to your next class," I announced, and she finally gave me an honest smile. She stood and I grabbed her backpack and waited for her to lead the way. I was hopeful that since she was letting me walk her to class she would keep our date. I followed her to her desk and sat her backpack on the floor before looking around to see if there would be any trouble.

"Thanks," she said, and I nodded and left the room.

When the bell rang I was right outside the door and rushed in to grab her pack and walk her to science. When we sat at our table she turned to look at me and asked, "Do you plan on doing this all day?"

"Of course," I said with a smile. I expected her to roll her eyes or ask me to stop, but she surprised me by leaning in and speaking softly. "Thank you, it really means a lot."

Her words played over and over again in my head. She needed me and I was stepping up and being there for her. It felt more intimate than any physical relationship I had with any other girl. I got called to the principal's office during science and turned to Bella before leaving. "Don't leave her without me. Wait until I return, okay?" She nodded and I walked out the door feeling pretty damn macho.

Ben was sitting across the desk from Principal Stanley and I groaned when I joined them. I promised myself I would agree to anything just to get out of there before science ended. Ben didn't look as willing to solve the issue.

"How can we work this out gentlemen?" Principal Stanley asked.

"As far as I'm concerned it's over," I said quickly.

Ben sat quietly.

"I have nothing against Ben," I added. "I was defending a friend."

Ben chuckled and it angered me, but I kept my cool. I turned to look at him and said, "I'm sure Ben is willing to work with me, instead of Chief Swan."

Ben's face was priceless. He never considered the repercussions of having Charlie on his case. He nodded and said, "Yeah, I think we're good."

We were lectured on our behavior and settling issues with words, not fists, and finally allowed to leave. I rushed back to class just as the bell rang. Bella was sitting at our desk and my heart raced at the sight of her.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," I said and picked up her pack. I didn't want her to think she could mention her father in order to stop the harassment. I wanted her to need me so I took her hand and led her to her next class.

I had just dropped her off when Emmett and Jasper stopped me in the hallway. "If you're not keeping away, we aren't either," they said angrily.

"This is different," I said, and suddenly realized I wanted them gone during lunch so I added, "Spend lunch with them, but don't get physical unless they do."

When lunch came I asked Bella if she wanted to sit in my car to eat. She quickly agreed but it was awkward and uncomfortable. I never had a girl simply sit in my car. I usually had the seats reclined and my pants down.

She opened a paper sack and ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which made me laugh. "PB and J, really?"

"I made one for Jamie, so I went with it," she said as she blushed.

I had so many questions I wanted to ask, but it wasn't time and I knew she would not answer any of them. She finally held up a cookie and offered it to me. "It's homemade," she said and I quickly took it. I would eat anything she made with her own hands.

"It's good," I said, and she smiled. "So," I said and tried to pick my words wisely. "About Friday, I need to let Emmett and Jasper know if they need to make new plans."

"I'm sure you could replace me with one phone call," she said, and looked out the window toward the school.

"I don't want anyone else," I said and she looked back at me. "I mean for Friday, I want you to come."

"This week is going to be bad," she said with a sigh. "I'm not sure I'll be good company by Friday."

"Bella," I said and put my hand to my heart as if she wounded me. "You have no faith in my abilities to turn this all around."

"You're right," she laughed. "I have no faith at all you can turn this around."

"I'll prove myself," I said and a weird silence filled the car. I couldn't ever remember having an odd moment with a girl. I usually just kissed them to fill the void, or didn't care enough to make anything feel weird. Now I was terrified to make the wrong move so a girl I hadn't even touched wouldn't kick my ass to the curb.

I continued my security service the rest of the day and was glad we had combined gym again. I teased her with the volleyball and when someone slammed it at her head I got to it before the ball made contact.

I worried about the days we wouldn't be combined and knew I needed another plan to keep her safe from people bullying her. I suddenly realized the perfect solution, Alice and Rosalie. Bella liked them and most of the school respected both girls. Alice was tiny, but fierce. Rose was just the bitch to put people in their place if they crossed her.

I walked Bella to her truck and opened the door for her. She sat on the seat and turned to face me, keeping her legs blocking the door from shutting. "I feel like I owe you money or something."

The old Edward would have quickly tried to cash in on the something, but I shook my head instead. She struggled with trying to say something and I waited with anticipation. "I don't care what they say about me," she said and her eyes filled with tears again. "But she's just a baby; she doesn't deserve to hear such hateful things already."

"You don't deserve it either," I said emphatically.

"I just want you to know, you know what Ben said, it isn't true. I'm not looking for a father for Jamie," she said and her entire face blushed deeply.

"What are you looking for?" I asked without meaning to put her on the spot.

"A friend, someone who understands my priority is Jamie," she said and pulled her legs into the truck. She looked back at me and added, "Someone to play cards with and make milkshakes."

"You can stop looking," I said with a smile and she nodded and smiled in a way that made me want to throw her onto the seat to fuck her, or to circle my arms around her and protect her from everything that could possibly hurt her.

I wanted to believe there was hope I was changing in that statement somewhere.

6

I met up with Emmett and Jasper at the pizza parlor to plan the group date. We were going to meet at my place at seven to get everything ready, then pick up the girls and be back by eight. I hadn't told my parents I would be using the game room yet, but they never used it so I didn't worry about the late notice.

"I'll get the ice-cream and you guys bring toppings," I instructed.

"What the fuck are toppings?" Emmett asked and Jasper laughed.

"You know, sprinkles and shit," I said to explain but the word sprinkles made his head automatically shake back and forth.

"I thought we were making shakes," Jasper pointed out. "Why do we need toppings?"

I sighed in frustration and rubbed my eyes harshly. "Okay, Emmett, bring chips and Jasper bring some sort of snack girls like."

"How do I know what girls like?" he protested as if I was questioning his manhood.

"Damn it, Jas. Pick something Alice eats besides your dick, okay."

He laughed and I realized why most guys didn't plan game nights with their dates. It was too damn difficult. I was acting like I had it all together, but I honestly planned on asking my mother for help. She would most likely throw together something special to impress the girls and I was counting on it.

I decided to bring up the subject at dinner. My dad was in a really good mood and it had my mom smiling all through dinner. "Hey, is it okay if I have some people over Friday night?"

They both looked at me with stunned expressions. I knew I was making some substantial changes, brought on by the 'worth it' Ms. Swan, but they didn't have to act so shocked. It also worried me a bit, because I wasn't so sure I would be able to sustain these changes. I was still in the 'we'll see' stage of my character change.

"Are you planning a party?" my father asked as he prepared to put the kibosh on my plans.

"No, a group date, six people total, we're going to make milkshakes and play cards," I said, and felt like a pussy saying it.

"I'll put the blender in the game room," my mom said right on cue. "You'll need milk and ice-cream, oh we can use the electric maker for homemade ice-cream or if you want thicker shakes we can add Oreos or candy bars."

"Um…yeah, just the milk and ice-cream will be fine," I said and decided to do this on my own to keep my mom from taking over the date.

"Who will be coming?" Dad asked, and I knew he was curious to see who I was dating.

"Emmett, Jasper, Bella, Rose and Alice," I purposefully listed the genders separately and I knew they wouldn't know if Rose was coming for me or not. I quickly excused myself, knowing full well I would be their subject of conversation for the remainder of the night.

I sat at my desk and pulled out my phone to call Rose. She answered in a strangely good mood, "Hi, Edward."

"Hey, um…I need a favor," I said, and instantly regretted my words.

"I'm sure you do," she said hatefully and I rushed to save the conversation.

"I called you because you are the most popular girl at Forks High and only you could pull this off," I said and hoped her vanity was larger than her anger.

"I'm listening," she said.

"Bella needs someone to keep the catty chicks off her back. I'll handle the guys, but you know how bitchy girls can be. She has enough to deal with so can you and Alice take her under your wings?"

"I don't get why she would keep the kid," Rose said as her demeanor softened. "There are tons of people wanting a baby and she's just a kid herself."

"I don't know any of the details. I just know she is trying to do the stand up thing and it must be hard as hell."

"Yeah, um…one thing," she said and I groaned and let my head fall into my palm. "My parents will freak when they find out I'm friends with a girl who has a child, like it will make me suddenly want my own or some shit like that."

I shook my head and realized what a tough road Bella was going to have. "Maybe if you tell them about all the cock you ride it will change their minds," I said angrily. I knew I would end up blowing this, but passing judgment on Bella after everything Rose has done sickened me. For all I knew Bella had sex once, in a church pew, and prayed for forgiveness immediately afterwards.

"You better kiss my ass, Edward, and thank me for being so faithful with my birth control or your own little version of junior would have arrived long ago." She slammed the phone down before I could actually thank her, because I was extremely grateful.

I decided to go the other route and called Alice. "Edward," she answered and went right into her conversation without waiting for my response. "I am so happy you planned the group date. It makes us feel special and like you're putting in a little effort for once. I don't know how you got Jasper to agree, but thanks."

"Don't mention it," I said instead of yelling, 'shut the hell up, Alice.' "Look, I want to ask you to do something."

"Wait a sec, Rose is calling," she said and instantly cut me off. Shit, it was impossible to manipulate girls without the use of sex. They were too quick.

I waited for over five minutes and Alice finally returned to the line. "I like Bella, Edward. She's a really smart girl; we'll take care of her."

I relaxed at the word, 'we,' and knew Rose must actually like Bella too, or she would have done anything to make Alice side with her. I felt really proud of the two girls I knew the best in Forks. "Thanks, Alice. Jasper is lucky to have you."

"Do you mean it?" she asked with a hopeful voice and I was a bit taken back. Did girls really worry about this shit? Jasper had been faithful for close to a year and she still wasn't sure he liked her. Girls must not understand how difficult it is to be faithful.

"Yeah, I really mean it," I said and hung up.

When I arrived to school the next day Bella was in the middle of the road. She smiled and walked extra slowly when I stopped in front of her. I laughed and enjoyed the view, realizing how stupid I was for telling her to hurry before. She had really long legs, and a lean body. She wasn't curvy like Rose, or busty like Alice, she looked like a runner and it all made sense now that she was able to keep up with me on the track.

I got out of my car and saw Rose and Alice pull Bella into the middle of them and walk off together. I was envious of the two girls and wanted my arm around Bella. When she came into English she smiled at me and my heart sped up, like I was in a fucking poem or something.

I was called on twice and didn't have a clue where I was in the book, so I decided to do some extra credit tonight to keep myself off the teacher's radar. When class ended I walked to Bella's desk and she stood before saying, "You better pay attention Mr. Cullen, you may get demoted to regular English so us gifted kids aren't burdened with your ordinary abilities."

Man, she delivered the perfect line and my mind was screaming with all the comebacks and sexual innuendo I could use. I smiled and simply said, "I'll work on it."

I walked her to her class and left with excitement that I would have her to myself next hour. I rounded a corner and ran into Lauren. She put her hands on my chest and I felt the heat radiate through my shirt. "Are you in the mood for lunch today?" she said and my stupid dick, which had been conditioned to respond to lunches with Lauren, twitched in my jeans.

"Sorry, Sweetheart, I'm busy this week," I said with a crooked smile and walked away from her. I consciously kept it open with her, in case the thing with Bella was something I had built up in my mind. I didn't want to ruin an easy thing if it didn't work out with her.

Emmett came running up as if he just won the lottery. His eyes were wide and he had a huge ass grin, showing off his dimples the girls all cummed for. "Rose loves Chex Mix," he said proudly. "I didn't even ask her either, it just came up in conversation. I'm bringing a huge bag on Friday."

"Do you know what kind?" I asked and watched his smile fade.

"There are different kinds?" he asked.

"Hell yeah, tons of them," I laughed, and left him standing dejected in the hallway.

When I showed up to walk Bella to science Rose and Alice were waiting. "Go away, Edward," Alice said. "We'll walk her to class; we want to ask her something."

"Walk her to the library, we don't have class this week," I said, and the girls nodded as I backed away.

I was trying not to act all possessive, especially since I was the one to involve them both, but I hated them infringing on my time. It was only walking from one building to another, but it still pissed me off that I had to miss out on it.

Bella walked in with a big smile, and I suddenly felt it was worth it to give up my time with her. Rose and Alice made her happy, so I was good with it. She came over to the table to sit down and I unconsciously leaned forward to be closer to her.

"What's the grin about?" I asked her with my own big grin. God, I was so obvious.

"Nothing, it's girl stuff, it would bore you," she said to dismiss me.

"You must not understand guys, girl stuff is all we think about," I said and she reached out to push my shoulder.

I stared at her like she was manna and I was a starving man. I couldn't force myself to look away, even when she blushed and opened her book. Everything about her held me captivated. I noticed how she bit her nails, making them extra short. She played with her hair when she was in deep thought, and she would bite her lip when choosing her words carefully. I knew all this about her and never even got close to doing her. It felt weird to be so emotionally attracted to someone.

"Do I have to meet your dad Friday?" I asked with a smile. "I mean, I already know him really well."

"Oh," she said and bit on her lip. "Um…I'll drive to your house."

"I don't mind picking you up, I mean, I should pick you up," I said and wondered if there was a reason she didn't want her father to know she was going on a date with me. Maybe he knew my reputation better than I thought.

She exhaled and looked like she was going to cry and I got the feeling she was planning on standing me up. I felt my hands going numb. Shit, nobody every stood me up, but I had done it plenty of times and maybe all of this was her way of showing me how it felt. I wasn't sure what to say.

She finally looked down as she spoke. "Most parents believe their teens don't have sex. My dad is in the awkward position of knowing I did. It feels really weird to have a date pick me up in front of him. Do you see what I'm saying?" she asked and I nodded.

I thought about my parents again. I flaunted it in front of them without wondering how it made them feel. But I hated that Bella felt cheap in front of her father. Surely he knew what a great daughter he had, or did he think she brought guys home at lunch for sex and went right back to school, like so many of the girls I had gone home with at lunch. Shit.

"Is it me, specifically, who would give him the wrong impression?" I asked, and she finally looked up.

"No, my dad is male, he knows all of you guys only think about girl stuff," she laughed.

I leaned forward again and looked right into her eyes. I needed to be honest and hope she would still agree to come to my house on Friday. "There are plenty of things about me your father wouldn't approve of, so I hope he gives me a chance."

"It isn't my father who needs to approve of you, Edward."

"I hope you'll give me a chance," I corrected.

She looked right into my eyes and said, "You'll only get one."

My throat tightened and I found it hard to swallow. Shit, I would need several chances and I knew it. I had a lot of changing to do and would surely mess up along the way. How could I do this perfectly, it was too daunting of a task.

She realized she just scared the shit out of my so she explained further. "I have a child I have to worry about. I can't play games anymore and I can't risk her happiness. I don't bring guys around my kid, but if I'm dealing with shit from a guy it affects how I am with her and I won't do that."

"Bella, I'll try…."

"It's not good enough," she said bluntly.

She waltzed into town turning every relationship upside down, telling girls not to put up with our games and our disrespect. She knew what she was talking about because she was paying the consequence, but did she really expect us to never mess up? Was the new motto at Forks High going to be, you only get one chance?

Something told me there was no way in hell this was going to work, but then she smiled at me and I knew I had to give it my best effort.


	3. Chapter 3

7

I couldn't get over the fact Bella wasn't going to let me pick her up for our date. I planned on kissing her, but it would be weird to walk her to her truck in front of Emmett and Jasper. Sure, I had fucked in front of them, but those girls didn't believe in only one chance, so making a move on Bella was going to be nerve wracking.

I also hated the idea of her father thinking the worst of her, which would happen if he found out she had been with me and I didn't even come to the house to pick her up. I decided to man up and do the most terrifying thing of my life. I went to talk to Charlie.

I drove to the station during school on Thursday and walked in with my heart pounding in my chest. God, I hope this wasn't blowing my one chance. I asked to speak with Chief Swan and was led right to his office. He looked shocked to see me and then even more shocked to see I wasn't cuffed.

I sat across from his large desk and clasped my hands together to make them stop shaking. "Um Chief Swan, I would like to talk to you about Bella."

His eyes narrowed and I could tell all his defenses rose, but he didn't say anything so I continued. "She feels, a… I mean, I think she worries…um…I asked her on a date and I would like to pick her up, but she feels like it would give you the wrong impression, not that you would have an impression, she is just worried…damn it."

"Are you capable of forming a complete sentence?" he asked and I felt like I had done sit ups and my muscles were straining.

"Bella feels weird having dates pick her up in front of you. She is worried you would think she is having sex," I said bluntly. "I really like Bella, and I want to pick her up for a date to be respectful."

"Where are you taking her?" Charlie asked.

"To my house," I said and when his eyes widened I quickly explained. "It is a group date. We're going to play cards and make shakes. My parents will be there," I added, but it didn't mean anything, my parents were there a lot when I had girls in my room. "I just want you to know I would never do anything to disrespect Bella. I think she is an amazing person and she has inspired me to make a lot of changes."

"Bella is a lot harder on herself than I could ever be. I want you to know if you think she's an easy mark, you are wasting your time."

"Easy mark?" I asked and wondered if he meant sex.

"Her life is in a different phase from kids her age. She won't be hanging out at football games nor having sleepovers with her friends, just like she won't be having sex in a car or sneaking boys into the house. You have no idea how much I wish she was. I would love for you to pick her up and cause me to worry all night if you're keeping your hands to yourself. Instead I have to worry if she'll ever find love and if her tears in the middle of the night are from fear or pain."

"I won't hurt her," I said softly as my own heart ached for her.

"Let her drive to your house until she learns to trust you. Going on a date is a big step for her, I don't want to add any stress," Charlie said and I nodded and stood. "Edward, thanks for coming. It was a mature thing to do."

I gave a half smile and left his office. I sat in my car and imagined Bella crying in the night. It hurt like hell and I wanted to do anything to stop her pain, or fear. I would most likely just add more to it and that was what hurt the most.

I was counting down the seconds until Friday night but had to make do with seeing Bella in school. I rushed to gym and waited for her to come out of the locker room with anticipation. She walked out and smiled at me before holding up her hands for the ball. We played around until the coach came and we were working on jump serves.

Bella had the height for volleyball but her arms lacked the strength for a jump serve. She tried over and over again to get it past the net as I kept my eye on her. On one of her jumps a girl named Becca, a real bitch, screamed with laughter and pointed at Bella's stomach. "Oh my God, you have gross stretch marks."

Bella's head fell and she rushed to the back of the line but Becca continued to taunt her. "Can't you put cream on them or something, it's gross."

Nobody came to her rescue and one girl actually asked to see them. Bella held perfectly still and the taunting grew instead of dying down. I couldn't stand it for another second and threw the ball in my hand harshly across the court to hit Becca in the side. She glared over at me and I flipped her off.

"You must screw her in the dark, Edward, because it would gross you out, too. God, you're the pickiest guy in this school," she said, and I felt panicked as I looked over at Bella.

She got out of line and walked up to Becca with her head down. I moved in that direction in case Becca tried to hurt her. Bella stood directly in front of the girl and raised her shirt to show a marker drawing done in red by a child. Her stomach was taut and free of any stretch marks.

"My daughter drew me a picture on my stomach and asked me to wear it. It made her smile when I agreed. I won't tell her you called it gross," Bella said softly and then turned to go into the locker room.

Becca looked embarrassed and glanced over at me, so I added. "And just so you know, I'm not having sex with her."

"Well, it would be a first," she said hatefully. I welcomed her anger my way; it would keep it from Bella so I lashed out.

"Here's another first, keep your legs shut once in a while," I said and walked back to the other side of the gym as the girls laughed.

I waited for Bella to come out to her truck and I could tell she had been crying. She tightened her hold on the backpack and kept her eyes down as she walked up to the door. "Hey," I called to her and she raised just her eyes to look at me. They were red and swollen and I couldn't find any words to comfort her, so I just smiled.

"I feel really stupid," she said. "I didn't mean for anyone to see."

"I thought it was sweet, and you should have worn a bare midriff," I teased and had to control the urge to pull her shirt up so I could see it again.

She gave me a sly smile and finally admitted, "Like I would have stretch marks, what an ass."

I laughed loudly and she finally raised her entire head and laughed along with me. I responded spontaneously, without giving it any thought. My hand reached out for her neck and pulled her forehead to my lips. I felt her tense and I quickly let go.

"Sorry, God, I wasn't even aware of what I was doing," I admitted stupidly. I backed up and she quickly got into her truck. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said and she nodded and turned on the engine.

When I got home my mother was cutting up some fruit and I grabbed some melon and tossed it in my mouth. "Leave me a list of what you need for tomorrow," she said.

"Don't worry, mom, I've got it," I said and she stopped cutting and looked at me. "Is it the girl causing the changes or are you trying to butter us up for something?"

I knew her comment should have offended me, but it was my mom, and she knew me too well. I walked over to hug her, most likely making her want to have my piss tested for drugs. "I'm eighteen, I have to grow up sometime," I said and she held me tightly, without letting go when I did. I realized it had been years since I hugged my mother, so I dropped my pack and hugged her properly.

"You may have to do Jasper, though," I said with a chuckle and she let me go and pushed me away.

I did some homework and then headed to the grocery store to pick up ice-cream. I didn't think to find out Bella's favorite flavor, so I bought vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. I walked past a package of crazy straws and threw them in my hand basket with a smile. I could imagine Bella using one and it got me fixated on her mouth. I couldn't wait to kiss her and hoped it would be something that she would let go on for quite awhile.

The one kiss we did share wasn't nearly enough. She was pissed and trying to make a point, but I could still tell she was a great kisser and I hoped she would let me show her my game this time.

I was on my way home when I got a call from her. My heart sank and I just knew she was going to blow me off for our date. I was willing to beg and cry like a girl if I had to. "Hello," I answered.

"Edward, it's Bella," she said and then sighed loudly.

"You're not coming are you?" I said to get it over with.

"You talked to my dad," she said, and I stopped breathing. Shit, I ruined my one chance by going to see Charlie.

"I just wanted him to know I was going to be respectful. I didn't want him to worry," I said to explain.

"Thank you," she said and I heard her sniff a couple of times. "It was a really sweet thing to do."

Sweet, she said sweet, so the date was still on. I felt like I needed a fucking map to navigate my way through this minefield with her. I never had such swings of emotion in my life. I could hear a child demanding her attention so I said, "Go play with Jamie, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Can I call you later?" she asked, and I almost drove off the road.

"Sure, anytime is fine," I said and she hung up the phone.

I ate dinner, took a shower and stared at my phone, waiting for her to call. It was pitiful and I knew how girls felt now. I actually checked my phone by calling it from the house line, just to make sure it wasn't broken. Finally after ten she called.

I was lying in my bed in the dark and my hand was shaking a bit when I answered the call.

"Hi," she said softly and I could picture her lying in the dark room as her child slept next to her.

I smiled and repeated, "Hi."

"I'm sorry I couldn't really talk earlier," she said and I quickly interrupted her.

"Don't be sorry, I understand."

"Well, I don't," she said with a sigh. "I can't believe I called you while I was with Jamie. It just shocked me to hear you went to see my father." I didn't know what she was trying to say so I remained quiet. She sighed again, much louder this time and finally said, "I'm thinking about you too much."

"You say it like it is a bad thing," I said, and hoped she didn't tell me just how bad it was.

"It is, it is a very bad thing, especially for you," she said and her voice was so sad it broke my heart.

"No, love," I said in just a whisper, "It is an amazing thing for me."

"People will say horrible things to you," she said, and I thought I could hear her crying.

I was going to tease with her and tell her people always said horrible things to me, or how she would improve my reputation, but I could tell she was hurting and I wanted to be honest. "You're worth it," I said.

"You're a smart guy, Edward, with a bright future. This is all I'll ever be. My dad will get me on at the department as a secretary or dispatcher and Forks will be my world."

Her words sunk in and made me pause. She was advanced in every class but she would never go to college or have a great career because she had to sacrifice for her daughter. Rose was right; she should not have kept the child.

"Hey, it's just cards and shakes," I said to make her stop stressing but she only cried louder making me feel like a jerk.

"You're right," she said suddenly. "Good night, Edward." I tried to yell for her to wait but the line went dead. I laid there imagining her crying in the darkness, and I couldn't just ignore it. I got up and grabbed my keys and drove to her house before calling her phone.

She answered quietly and I said, "I'm outside your house, come talk to me."

I saw the curtain part and the line went dead. She opened the door and stepped onto the porch in a pair of flannel pants and a long sleeved thermal. She looked so tiny and had to pull up the arms sleeves for her hands to poke out.

I waited against the car for her to walk over to me. "You shouldn't be here," she said but her tone was not convincing.

"I'm not going to let you lie in bed and cry," I said, and she looked down so I wouldn't see more tears form.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about. You come over here and I rush out into the night to see you. I can't be that person, Edward."

"What person? The type of person who likes a guy and wants to see him?"

"Suppose someone drives by and sees us, it looks like I'm leaving my daughter in the house alone to sneak out with some guy for sex. I have to think about her."

"Then invite me in," I said to solve the problem.

"Your car is here," she pointed out.

"Shit Bella, it shouldn't matter what other people think, we know the truth," I said harshly.

"It matters to Jamie's life. I'm eighteen; I don't know what the hell I'm doing most of the time so I can't add burdens to her."

"Why did you keep her?" I asked and Bella's eyes flashed with pure rage. "No, I didn't mean it like that, I meant, I'm sure you thought out everything carefully, what made you decide to be a mother at such a young age? I'm not judging you, Bella."

"Because men lie, don't they Edward?" she said angrily and took a step toward the house.

"Bella, please don't leave. I'm trying to be a friend here. I don't want you to walk away angry, because I can't stop thinking about you. God, you are in every thought I have and I'm terrified I'm going to fuck this up. I don't know what the hell I'm doing most of the time either."

Her tears began to really fall and she shook her head adamantly at some thought she kept to herself. I looked over at the house and decided I needed to fight for her. It would be too easy to lose her because of some asshole that left her and the kid. "It isn't fair to judge me by him. I'm not him, Bella."

"There is only one way to find out, and I'm too scared," she said and took another step away from me.

"Did he beg?" I asked her and she stopped her retreat. "Did he stand outside of your house in the dark and beg you for a chance? Because I'm here and I have never begged a girl in my life, but I am begging you with everything I have not to push me away."

Her arms fell to her side and the sleeves covered her hands. She looked terrified and I wanted to feel her in my arms and try to solve this together, but I was too afraid of making the wrong move. I finally raised my arms out for her and let her decide. I stood there for several seconds and watched her eyes dart back and forth as she struggled to make a decision.

Finally, without warning she dove into my arms and I pulled her tightly to me as I lifted her off the ground. I was out of my mind with the feeling of her crying into my neck as I held her. I inhaled the scent of her and tried to memorize how she felt as I paced back and forth keeping her off the ground.

I usually felt emotion with my penis, but I wasn't even aware of my body as my heart desired her so much more. She finally pulled from my embrace and ran back to the house as I smiled, knowing we had turned a corner.

8

I waited for Bella in the parking lot, but Alice and Rose ran to her truck before I got a chance to talk to her. I was regretting the whole group date scenario and wished I had planned something for just the two of us. Emmett and Jasper approached with big smiles.

"This has been the longest week of my life," Jasper admitted.

"Are we cool for tonight, no groping or sex talk. When they talk, we listen," I said as if talking to a couple of five year olds.

"Jeeze dad, are you going to ground me if I screw up?" Emmett said and I wasn't sure how to make him understand how crucial tonight was.

"Can we toke before we pick them up?" Jasper asked and I wanted to say no, but I knew I would need something to relax my nerves, so I nodded.

Bella was in her seat when I arrived to English and she looked at me with a smile. I stopped by her desk and asked, "How did you sleep?"

"Better, thanks," she said and I let my finger run along her hand lying on the desk as I walked away. I heard her inhale sharply and I smiled, because it was a natural movement on my part, not contrived or practiced like my moves usually were.

After class Bella dropped a bomb on me. "I'm not coming to the library today; I'm doing something with Rose and Alice."

"Did I not beg hard enough?" I asked and tried to act heartbroken. She laughed and when she touched my arm she let her hand rest a bit before pulling it away. It took everything I had to keep my hands off of her.

I was relieved when it was announced we would be running in gym. I needed to release some tension and I looked forward to running with Bella, but she never showed. I was pissed and disappointed as I ran around the track, taking out my attitude on my body as I set an unusually fast pace.

It was just what I needed and I doubted I would be beating off in the shower before the date. I drove home like a kid before Christmas to prepare. I tried to act casual in front of my mother, but she knew I was excited for the date.

"I added fresh flowers to the game room," she said and I rolled my eyes at her. "The girls will notice," she assured me.

I took a shower as I listened to music, but I felt too pumped up to sit still. I checked the game room about twenty times to make sure I had everything I needed. My parents were going out to dinner so I didn't even have the distraction of eating to keep my mind off the ticking clock.

I went onto the back deck and smoked a cigarette, then showered again to get the smell out of my hair. At six I shaved and dug through my closet for the shirt some chick told me made my eyes pop, whatever the hell that meant. I put on my favorite jeans and my top shelf cologne. If this was what dating entailed it was brutal.

Jasper showed up with a bowl of dried fruit, telling me Alice's mom said it was a favorite of hers. Emmett bought every kind of Chex Mix he could find, making sure to have the one Rose wanted. All we cared about was the joint to give us the courage we needed to make it through this ordeal.

Jasper hooked up his iPod to the sound system in the game room and we made our way to the back deck to toke.

"Can we ask Bella about her kid?" Emmett asked.

"Can she ask you about your IQ?" I said angrily. I was beginning to worry about how the night was going to go and prayed Rose would keep Emmett in line. If things got too bad I would just send Rose upstairs to fuck him and put him to sleep.

The guys left to pick up their girls and I paced in the front room as I stared at the driveway. I wanted her to arrive before the others got here, so I got just a few moments alone with her. I almost screamed like a fan girl when I saw her truck pull in.

I rushed outside and hardly gave her time to turn off the engine before opening her truck door. "God, this day has been awful," I blurted out and she smiled. Her legs turned and I had to step back to allow her room to get out of her seat.

She seemed nervous and not sure what to do so I pulled her into my arms. I wasn't going to be shy, I had been dreaming of this all day. A car pulled up and I tried to keep the disappointment off my face when I turned to see my parents arriving back from dinner. I took Bella's hand and led her into the garage.

"Mom, dad, this is Bella Swan," I said with pride.

My mother nodded and said, "Yes, we've met, but you haven't meet my husband, have you?"

"No, hello, Dr. Cullen," Bella said and extended her hand for him to shake.

I took Bella into the house for the tour, hoping we could make out for a bit in my room. I pointed out the rooms quickly and led her upstairs. I opened my bedroom door and she stuck her head in, but remained in the hallway. I went inside thinking she would follow but she didn't. "You can come in," I said and stood back.

"No, let's finish the tour," she said.

"Um…this is it. There are a couple of guest rooms and my parent's room, but that is pretty much it," I said and watched her walk back away from my door.

"You don't want to come in here?" I asked.

"No, I think we should go downstairs," she said and turned around to leave.

"Bella," I called with just a hint of anger. "I wanted to kiss you in private."

Her eyes grew large and she crossed her arms in front of her. "I'm not kissing you tonight, Edward, at all."

I'm sure I looked like I had been told I have only moments to live. I was beyond stunned and didn't have a clue how to respond. Jasper and Alice arrived and he called out for me. I followed Bella down the stairs and Jasper noticed my appearance. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I mumbled and we all walked into the game room. My mother had set up a cooler full of lemon water so I got a glass and took a long drink, wishing it was vodka.

Alice got a text from Rose saying they were on their way but she decided to change at the last minute. The girls were chatting and eating the dried fruit as I sat stupidly and stared at the wall. Jasper came to sit next to me. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, let it go," I said and reached out for the cards and chips. I could hear my mother in the kitchen and Jasper got a big smile and rushed out to see her. Alice quickly followed and it left me and Bella to fill the awkward silence.

She finally huffed and said, "It's our first date, I don't kiss on the first date."

I almost lashed out at her and brought up her daughter to help my wounded pride, but luckily I refrained. "Look at me," she said and I raised my angry eyes. ""I'm hoping for a second date," she said and then smiled at me melting my frozen heart.

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" I said and smiled back at her.

"No, I'm trying to do everything the right way."

Emmett and Rose arrived and everyone returned to the game room. Jasper turned on the music and began his constant air guitar. Emmett opened the small freezer and pulled out the ice-cream just as Rose saw the Chex Mix. "God, I love this stuff," she said and grabbed the bag of original.

"I know Rose wants chocolate, what about you Alice and Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Vanilla," Alice said.

"Strawberry," I answered for Bella and she smiled and nodded, seemingly impressed I knew her flavor. I actually just guessed and used her shampoo as a hint.

Rose began dancing to the music and when Alice and Bella joined her I couldn't force myself to look away. I got an instant boner and wished I would have beaten off after all. I was torturing myself and should just walk away or at the very least turn around, but watching Bella shake to the beat and run her hands over her body was not something I wanted to miss.

Jasper came up behind Alice and began moving with her, causing her to laugh and push him away. I gave him a warning glare, telling him it was supposed to be a grope free evening. Emmett made all the girls a shake and I handed them out with the crazy straws making them laugh. Bella leaned in and asked, "Can I have an extra…to take home?"

"Sure, take the whole package," I said and she smiled and ran her hand down my arm before putting it back on her shake glass.

When we all had our shakes we sat around the card table. "Okay, which game are you all up for?" I asked and shuffled the deck.

Rose held her hand out for the cards. "Let me read your futures first," she said and the girls squealed happily. I handed her the cards and she climbed onto the table and sat on her knees. "Emmett, I'll do you first," she said and Jasper laughed loudly.

"I don't think that was the order," he said and I kicked him hard and refused to look at Bella.

She sat some cards down and stared at them. "Okay, see this Queen, it signifies me. The six means you aren't quite sure about us yet."

"Bullshit," he said loudly and made her smile.

She turned over a couple of more cards and said, "Ut oh, you are going to have many children."

"Around the world or ones I actually claim," he asked with a grin and I glanced at Bella. Her eyes flashed over to mine and I saw her tense a bit.

"You're not having them with me, I'm not letting my ass get huge," she said and Alice gasped in realization. Rose spun around to look at Bella. "I didn't mean…."

"No, it's fine, I know you weren't being serious," Bella said and looked at her fingers.

I reached out and took her hand in mine and looked at her fingernails. "You got your nails done," I said and all three girls screamed loudly and began laughing. "What?" I asked.

"Five points," Alice said and the girls laughed again. I got the feeling we were all being given a test tonight and it was vital we passed it if we wanted to see these girls again.

"Get your ass off the table," I said to Rose and took the cards away from her and shuffled again. We decided to teach the girls how to play poker and it was a disaster. Alice asked Jasper about every hand, loud enough for us all to hear. Rose kept calling, and Bella's face was an open book.

We finally gave up and Alice suggested a game of truth or dare. I knew better, but the possibility of getting Bella to kiss me was worth the chance. "I'll go first, truth," I said and Alice asked, "Who gave you the best sex of your life?"

I shook my head angrily and Rose said loudly, "You have to answer it, Edward."

"I'm not going to answer it, questions like that are not appropriate," I said and noticed Bella relaxed a bit but still wouldn't look at me.

"Then you have to do the dare," Alice said. "You have to show us your little Eddie."

"Everyone in this room has seen it," Rose laughed. "Oh, maybe not Bella, show Bella your dick."

I stood up in anger and glared at the group. "This isn't funny. Are you trying to show us what pricks we are? We already know it. We are trying to give you girls a special night, if you aren't going to take us seriously, go home, this is for you, not us."

The girls let their heads fall in shame and Rose finally said, "We're sorry. We thought you were trying to play us and we were going to get you to admit it."

I looked around the room at the shake mess and the flowers. I had so much hope for this night and now I found out Bella wasn't going to kiss me and they thought we were trying to put one over on them. I turned and walked out of the room. They could all leave, the night was ruined. I went to my room and fell onto my bed feeling like a loser incapable of having a simple date with the girl I liked.

The door opened and Bella walked in. I sighed and said, "You can go, I'm sorry."

She walked up to the bed and smiled. "You noticed my nails," she said and I looked at her hard.

"Your hair is different, too," I said.

"Yeah, I got highlights," she said and smiled wider.

"You look really pretty," I admitted and she blushed.

"Edward, you kind of ended the date," she said and blushed further confusing the hell out of me.

"I didn't want to force you to be here if you didn't want to," I said and she nodded.

"Okay, so if I came up here it is kind of like our second date, right?"

I smiled, but wanted to make absolutely sure I wasn't misunderstanding her. "Are you going to let me kiss you?" I asked.

"Not lying down," she said, "Or on your bed."

I stood and took her hand and led her from the room, down the stairs, and outside onto the deck. It was very dark due to the thick cloud cover and I felt my body shaking a little. I wasn't sure if it was in anticipation or if I was scared shitless.

I leaned against the railing and pulled her against me. She let her hands run up my arms and around my neck as she leaned into me. "I love the feeling of holding you in my arms," I said honestly with a soft voice.

"Oh Edward," she said with a breathy voice. "I tried so hard to resist you."

I lowered my mouth to hers and her arms tightened around my neck pulling me down to her tightly. I was trying to keep control, kissing her over and over again instead of going in for one long kiss which built passionately. My hand began to wander and I quickly brought it back to her hair to keep from grabbing her ass.

Her hot breath was driving me insane and I needed more and more of her. I turned us around so she was now against the railing and I leaned into her, hissing through my teeth at the sensation of her hip against my cock.

She arched back and my mouth left her lips and kissed the exposed skin on her chest just above the edge of her shirt. "God, I want you so badly," I moaned and she instantly pushed me away. I held onto the rail and took deep breaths to clear my head.

She was standing angrily on the other side of the deck and it frustrated me. "Don't look at me like that, Bella, you were responding to me in every way."

"This is a bad idea," she said as she began biting on her lip again.

"Coming here?" I asked.

"No, us."

"Why?" I demanded angrily.

"I don't want to do this all over again, Edward. I've learned my lesson," she said as tears began to fall.

"Maybe you better tell me about it, because right now I can't see any similarities in the situations. I'm crazy about you, and I would never walk away from my mistake."

"Mistake," she said and finally let her eyes settle on mine. "Don't you ever call my daughter a mistake."

"You know what I mean," I said loudly.

"If I fall in love with you, I get hurt, not you. You'll sleep with me this year, take me to prom and to a few movies, and then you'll leave and I'm stuck here trying to live without you. I'm trying to protect my heart, Edward. You would be so easy to love," she admitted.

I stepped toward her with my hands out. "Let me love you, Bella, let me love you with all my heart. If we're good together we'll work it out to be together, just give us a chance."

She looked at me as her chest heaved and her tears fell. She finally shook her head back and forth and said, "No, no more of us. I'm not strong enough to date you, Edward. Please, leave me alone." She turned and ran to her truck and drove away, leaving me standing on the deck with a broken heart. I had my one and only chance with Bella Swan.

9

The dream of having her was over and I wasn't about to sit here all night and sulk over it. I grabbed my keys and headed toward the school, surely the game was over and people would be hanging around looking for things to do.

I saw Lauren and just couldn't force myself to pull over. I wasn't ready for someone so close to Bella. I sped out to first beach and ran into Leah. I knew her for several years although she attended the school in La Push. She was feisty and I needed someone I could trade jabs with, I wasn't looking for, loving, right now.

I walked up and she handed me a beer. "Slumming it, Cullen?" she asked and I looked at her body and took a drink from the bottle before responding.

"Looking for some fun, there's nothing fun in Forks," I said truthfully.

"You think all we have to offer is fun?" she asked and I noticed a slight smile on her face.

"God, I hope so," I smiled and she responded in kind. She grabbed my shirt and began pulling me into the dark away from the crowd.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of waves crashing. It may have been just in my head, but the sound hurt like hell. I sat up and tried to get my head to remember something, anything. I was at the beach, naked, obviously got totally wasted, fucked Leah, but everything else was a blank.

I looked for my clothes and found them lying on a rock. I got up and dressed before making my way slowly to my car. A couple was lying by the steps and I nodded at them. I thought this part of my life was over. I could only imagine my parent's faces.

I drove to Forks and pulled over to get gas. I stood with my eyes closed against the car as the tank filled and then went inside to get some water and aspirin. I headed to the line at the counter and stood with my eyes closed as I waited for some stupid fuck to figure out how to use the credit machine.

"Mommy, a bawl." I heard a child say and I glanced at the large container of rubber balls.

"Yeah, they're pretty colors aren't they?" I heard Bella respond. I spun around to see her holding her daughter on her hip and a gallon of milk in her free hand. It took her a moment to notice me and when our eyes met my heart stung in my chest.

She quickly looked away and I noticed how her jaw tightened. I turned around, unwilling to see anymore of her obvious regret at ever setting eyes on me. I looked like a whore, crawling in from a night of debauchery, which I was.

"Mommy, I wan it," Jamie said, and Bella didn't respond. "Mommy, I wan a bawl."

"We're getting milk and that's all," Bella said softly but the girl continued to whine.

I paid for my shit and asked the clerk to charge me for a ball also. I grabbed a pink one from the bin and walked over to hand it to Jamie. The girl smiled, looking identical to Bella and took the ball from my hand.

"Honey, give it back and tell the nice man, no thank you," Bella instructed her.

Jamie pulled it tightly to her body and refused to relinquish the gift. So Bella sat the milk on the ground and tried to pry it from her hands as the child protested. "We don't have money for that," Bella said.

"I bought it for her, it's hers," I said, and Bella glared at me and continued tying to get the ball away.

"Shit Bella, it's a ball, there isn't any hidden agenda. She wanted it and I got it for her. I'm not giving up college to buy your daughter a damn ball," I said angrily and walked away.

I was actually stunned she was making such a big deal out of a two bucks piece of rubber. Then it dawned on my messed up brain, she didn't have a job and most likely the prick wasn't giving her child support. Two bucks was probably a really big deal. I hit the steering wheel with my hand and wished I had paid for the milk, too.

If I could have crawled on my belly into the house I would have. I felt awful and my parents were sitting at the table waiting for me. I sat down and decided to take my punishment. It would hurt less than what my heart was going through now.

"You smell like a brewery," Dad started with.

"I slept on the beach, I didn't drive drunk," I said to make it appear I was being responsible, but they knew better.

"You passed out on the beach, naked. We got a call from Charlie. He didn't haul you in because you were on reservation lands, but he wants to meet with you Monday for some community service."

Man, I didn't just blow my one chance with Bella; I blew any possibility of even attending a dance with her. Charlie would make it clear on Monday I was to keep my ass far from his daughter. My mother was more compassionate than my father and said, "Did the date go that badly?"

"Date," I said cynically. "Girls say they want one thing and then act like they want something else. We tried to give them everything they wanted and they shit on us."

"Honey, girls see through pretence. If you were trying to do something just to make them think differently of you it was never going to work. It has to be genuine and constant. Bella called you on it and look at yourself. You ran right back to old habits."

I felt tears sting my eyes and I shook my head. "No, she didn't call me on it. I told her how much I care for her and want her, but she ran. She won't give me a chance since I plan to go to college. She thinks I'll leave and forget about her."

"You realize it is a very real possibility, right?" My father asked.

I leaned my arms on the table and looked at my father as if he was still the daddy who fixed everything for me. Life was unfair and I was finding it out the hard way. "She's so bright, she could be anything, but she plans on working as a secretary for her father. Her life is so screwed up because she gave up everything at the age of sixteen."

"Son, life is all about choices. She made her choice and I'm sure she considered the consequences. She valued her daughter over other things, and you have to respect her decision. She will probably marry a man from the precinct and raise her children right here in Forks. It isn't such a bad thing," my surgeon father said.

"You got to choose to live here, she's stuck here," I pointed out and my mother smiled at me.

"Everyone has different perspectives. You'll understand when you're older," she said and patted my arm.

"Right, that is exactly what I'm talking about. Her perspective is going to change, but she is so set on one course she won't consider anything else," I said as I got more emotional.

"What would you suggest for her?" my father asked.

"She should go to college, there are ways to pay for it, hell she could get an academic scholarship easily."

"You're right; she could have her schooling paid for, but what about living and eating expenses, child care, and a vehicle? She could get a job, but when would she ever see her child?"

I sat back in frustration and felt awful for having so much and taking it all for granted. My parents were going to pay my entire way through schooling and I planned on going to Chicago, so they would pay for my travel back and forth, too.

"There has to be a way," I said and shook my head, refusing to believe Bella was stuck here forever. I also had to admit some local guy marrying her sickened me. I knew she was careful with men because of her daughter, but Jamie would get older and Bella would want a man in her life to make a home for Jamie.

My mother finally changed her tone and began to get real with me. There was still the matter of passing out on the beach and they weren't going to let it go. "Edward, you wish Bella would change her perspective and we wish the same thing for you. This has got to stop before you ruin your future. You are too bright to act like a man whore."

My eyes shot open and I stared at my dignified mother who just called me a man whore. She noticed my shock and rolled her eyes. "You think we don't hear things. You would blush to know the things I know about you," she said and I almost pissed my pants.

"I keep my grades up and I stay out of trouble," I said to point out I was keeping their two main rules.

"You woke up on the beach and not in the drunk tank at the jail because of where you happened to fall down. I don't see it as staying out of trouble," Dad said.

"Edward, if one of these random girls ends up pregnant, are you giving up your future? I can assure you we are not going to pay your child support," my mother said to cause my balls to retreat into my stomach.

"I use protection," I said and looked down so they couldn't see my eyes. I had no idea what I did last night and could only hope Leah took care of it.

"One last thing," my dad said and I was glad there was an end in sight. "Mrs. Whitlock is aware of what Jasper does for money and it breaks her heart. If he ever brings it over here, I'm turning him in."

My head was now really reeling. What did Jasper do for money? He complained about money a lot, but he always managed to have some. "She thinks he sells drugs?" I asked in shock.

"She knows he does, and you better not be involved son, because I would turn you in, too."

"Seriously dad, I don't think he does. I mean, I would know wouldn't I? I'm his best friend and he has never said anything about it."

"Maybe you should talk to him about it," dad suggested, and stood to leave the room. My mother rose and came over to hug my shoulders, but scrunched up her nose and quickly pulled away.

I went upstairs and showered and put on clean clothes. I had so much to think about and tried to come up with some constructive changes I could make. My focus was on my friend now instead of Bella, I considered her a lost cause.

I got my keys and drove to Jasper's house. I never gave his situation much thought. He lived in a small, rundown house, but he had a great sound system and sick guitars. His mother worked two jobs and was never around much. I knocked and then let myself in. I headed down the small hallway and knocked on Jasper's door.

He smiled when I stuck my head in and motioned for me to sit on his bed while he worked on restringing a guitar. "Hey, what's up?" he asked.

"I got my ass handed to me by my folks. I also almost got busted by Swan this morning, but I was on reservation lands."

"With Bella?" he asked with wide eyes.

"No, that is over," I said and moved to lie down on his bed.

"No shit, the way Alice talked I thought you two would be engaged already," he chuckled and I closed my eyes.

"What would I do if I got someone knocked up?" I asked aloud.

"Move," Jasper laughed.

"What would you do if you get caught dealing?" I asked, and noticed he didn't have a smart ass comeback. I sat up and looked at him. "Jasper, are you dealing?"

"No, I'm not," he said, and continued on with his guitar string.

"Well, you mother thinks you are," I said and he only shrugged. "Where do you get your money?" I pushed.

"Fuck you, Cullen. We all don't have a mommy and daddy to hand us everything we want. Don't you dare judge me," he said angrily. I had never seen Jasper like this before and I felt like life was tearing us all apart. It never matter who had what when we were younger, but now money mattered.

"I'm not judging you," I said with a soft voice. "I don't want you throwing your life away on pot."

"Aren't you a fucking after school special," he said as he shook his head. "Do you really think I could make money on selling joints? I do what I have to do for my future."

"So you're telling me you are doing something for money, but it isn't dealing?" I asked, and didn't believe a word out of his mouth.

He got up and stuck his hand under his bed to bring out a bag of marijuana. "This is all I have, and I'm sure we will smoke it up before the end of the school year, but this is all of it."

"So what is it you're doing?" I asked. He looked a bit embarrassed and I hated seeing my friend look like that so I decided to change the subject and go back to our peaceful oblivion. "I saw Bella this morning with her kid."

"Do you think Charlie will tell her about almost pulling you in?" Jasper asked.

"I'm sure he will, hell, he won't want her within a mile of me. If she was my daughter I wouldn't."

"Why's she here?" he asked and I looked at him stupidly. "I mean, she was in Arizona with the kid for two years, why did she come up here?"

"Charlie said her mother remarried. I guess the guy wouldn't take in a daughter and granddaughter."

"She can pretend all she wants, but she is hot for you. She told Rose and Alice she wouldn't have sex again until she was married. They told her it wouldn't fly with you and she showed up anyway. Is it even possible to not have sex until you're married?" Jasper asked.

"Angela swears she's not," I said, but had to admit I didn't believe her either. "Do you think I should run by and talk to Chief Swan, you know, act all contrite and shit?"

"You want to see Bella, admit it," he said and I wondered how I got so transparent all of the sudden.

"No, I want to keep my ass out of community service. I'm not picking up trash off the highway for any chick." I got up and headed out wondering if I actually had the nerve to talk to Charlie man to man. If he got too pissy I would tell him his daughter caused me to drink myself onto that beach so maybe she should be the one doing community service.

I drove past her house and saw the truck was not there but Charlie's squad car was. I pulled over and took a deep breath before getting out of my car and walking to the door. This would either lessen my sentence or get me killed, but it was too late to rethink it when Chief Swan opened the door.


	4. Chapter 4

10

I felt like a man as I sat on the couch talking with Charlie. I could tell he appreciated me coming forward and not making him have to drag my ass out of my luxury home. He was babysitting and I really hoped Jamie's presence got me some reprieve.

"I know I was wrong to sleep on the beach," I said and saw his eyebrow rise, so I owned up to the truth. "But I passed out there. I never drive drunk, I have an understanding with my parents that I can stay out all night if I'm sleeping off the alcohol. I party on weekends, not during the week, and I keep my grades up."

"There are laws about public intoxication and public indecency," he said, and I nodded as if I now understood.

He was staring at me with his fingers over his lips as his elbow resting on the arm of the chair. I felt like I was on trial for my life and I should listen to my counsel and keep my stupid mouth shut. He finally broke the silence and spoke.

"There isn't anything I can actually do to you since you were out of my jurisdiction," he said and I wanted to kick myself for coming here, or for at least for not realizing he had nothing on me. "But I think you should do a favor for your community."

"A favor?" I asked, and if he mentioned picking up trash I was going to tell him to shove it up his ass.

"The day-care on Fourth Street needs a new roof, but they can't afford one. I think you should get some buddies together and take off the old roof, so me and my guys can get up there a put on a new one."

I glanced over at Jamie to see her sitting on the floor with some dolls. When I looked back at Chief Swan he was watching me closely. "Bella ended it with me," I said softly wanting him to understand Jamie was not a problem for me.

"I figured as much," he said, and I looked back at the little girl.

"I know I have a lot of faults and you would want someone better for your daughter, but I really care for her. I understand Jamie comes first, but I wouldn't mind coming second," I said and the little girl looked at me when I said her name.

"Bella never planned on raising a child alone. The boy lied and told her he was coming back for her and Jamie as soon as he found a job. He just went away to school and on with his life, never bothering to tell her it was over. You'll do the same thing," Charlie said and I couldn't contradict him, yet.

"I can't promise her anything right now, but if we make it through this year, I would never do that to her."

"You're young; you deserve a chance to grow up. Down the road if you're still available, come see her then," he said as if his daughter could be a consolation prize.

"I'm not stupid," I said with a snide look. "She'll be long gone, and possibly the best thing I could ever hope for. Plus," I added and nodded at Jamie, "There are other things I wouldn't want to miss. If we have a future, I don't want to miss the stuff now."

Charlie laughed quite loudly and shook his head. "She'll never let you near her. The only thing she protects more than her heart is her child."

"It isn't what I'm saying. I want to know all of Bella, and she's a mother, so I want to know that side too. If she keeps it from me, I can't know all of her."

We both stopped talking when Bella rounded the corner. I didn't hear her truck or the door and I could tell by Charlie's reaction he didn't either. She got two dollars out of her pocket and walked over to hand them to me. I stared at her hand refusing to take the money.

"Take it," she said and shook it forcefully.

"I was trying to be nice to your daughter, Bella. I'm not taking the money."

Charlie got up and I thought he was going to settle things with me and Bella, but he picked up Jamie and left the room. "I don't want you buying things for my daughter," she said and dropped the money onto my lap.

"Why?" I asked and pushed the money off of me and onto the couch.

"It isn't your job," she said, and her anger was fading quickly.

"I didn't think it was my job," I said harshly. "I thought she was cute and she wanted a ball. Why are you so freaked about it? It isn't like she'll think I'm coming by everyday with a toy."

"What exactly do you want her to think? Some random guy shows up with mommy every once in awhile and if I ask for something he'll get it for me?"

"No, I want her to think I treat her mother well, and I enjoy being around the both of you. I want her to think it is amazing how he lets her mother always put her first, and if they both need anything, not want, but need, he's there."

"Is that right?" she laughed. "Okay, Jamie needs clothes, and toys, and food, and a lot of time. But mostly she needs a father, are you free on Tuesday, to parent her. Oh that's right, you have _high school_," she screamed at me and stomped up the stairs. I stormed out the front door fueled with my own anger.

I saw Bella had left some bags in her truck filled with clothes from the thrift store for Jamie. I pulled out a shirt and looked at the size before heading off to Port Angeles. I spent so much money on liquor and never thought about single mothers and how they made ends meet. I suddenly realized Jasper's retro style was probably more about shopping at thrift stores than his actual personal preference.

I walked into a department store and began looking at clothes for little girls, feeling every bit of the perve I looked like.

A sales woman approached me and I welcomed her help. "I'm looking for some clothes for a little girl who is two and wears a size three shirt."

"Play clothes or dress clothes?" she asked.

"Um…both."

"Summer or winter? We are actually moving into the full winter fashions, and kids grow quickly so you might want to go up a size. Are her clothes a good fit now or getting snug?"

Shit, I didn't know. The shirt said size three and I didn't think about anything else. "Can she return them if they don't fit?" I asked.

"Be sure and ask for a gift receipt," the woman said and began holding up outfits for me to look at.

"You decide," I said. "Act like these are for your daughter, what would you choose?"

She began pulling items from the rack and lying them on top of the rounds for me to look at. I just picked them up and held them all in my arms. She noticed what I was doing and smiled. "Those are just different variations of the same style. I was going to pick one from each group."

"Oh, okay, I'll be back," I said and put them back down to go look at getting some toys. I stared at the shelves filled with pink and purple and felt lost again. I saw a mother with a child close to Jamie's age and asked her for some suggestions.

"The Fisher Price My First Doll House is a must have for any little girl," she said and pointed it out to me. "There are accessories you can buy separately, but she would love it."

I threw the box in my cart and picked out some furniture to go with it. I saw a Mrs. Potato head and laughed as I tossed it into the cart, too. When I made my way back to the clothing department the sales clerk had several outfits waiting for me. I didn't have a clue what two year olds eat so I got a gift certificate from our local grocery store.

I finally returned to Bella's four hours later and sat everything on the doorstep before ringing the door. Charlie's cruiser was gone so I knew Bella would answer. She looked at me with an angry face and then down at the covered step.

I walked back to my car and yelled over my shoulder, "I'll be here Tuesday morning."

I drove home and felt almost giddy. I was fighting back for Bella's affection and the harder she pushed me away the harder I would fight. I would prove to her somehow that I could be someone she could trust. I went upstairs; feeling like this day had lasted a week, and began working on some homework so if I had to actually miss Tuesday I could.

About an hour later my mother opened my door and had a worried look on her face. "Edward, can you come downstairs please."

I followed her with a sense of dread and knew they were going to give me shit for something. I walked into my father's office and saw Bella standing against the wall. All the stuff I had gotten for her was lying in a trash bag on the floor.

"How dare you," she yelled angrily. "Are you saying I don't take care of my daughter?"

"I was reacting to your accusation, Bella. You said your daughter needed this stuff, well, here it is."

Her mouth opened wide and she threw her hands in the air. "You didn't provide this, your parents did. You don't even have a job, Edward. It is easy for your parents to afford things, you can't afford shit."

I looked at the bag on the floor and realized for the first time she was right. I used my credit card, but I didn't pay the bill, my father did. I had no idea what it was like to struggle to afford things. I walked over to a chair and sat down with my head hanging.

My dad walked out of the room to give us some privacy and it was the last thing I wanted. I felt stupid and useless and I didn't want Bella seeing me like this. Her voice softened and she said, "Edward, try to put yourself in my position and imagine how badly it made me feel to see this stuff. I would love for Jamie to have new clothes and the latest toys, but I can't provide it for her. My father won't let me get a job yet, and it hurts like hell to dress my daughter in clothes other people threw out."

"Does he give you child support?" I asked.

"No, he signed away parental rights," she said and finally sat down.

"Bastard," I mumbled and she sighed so I looked up at her. She had tears falling and I wanted to hold her so badly.

"Everyone wants me to be the typical high school girl, falling for the hot guy, going to games and hanging with friends. I can't be that person, just like you can't be the man to save me. You're eighteen and …"

"I get that I don't have my own money but don't discount my feelings because of my age. We could date for a couple of months and grow to hate each other, or, we can learn that we belong together and find a way to stay together. Why won't you give us a try?"

"What does a try mean to you? Meaningless sex is not something I'm willing to consider."

I couldn't stop the smile that formed and I said, "It wouldn't be meaningless."

She looked away and I saw her own smile before she said, "You prick."

"Okay, how about this plan. I get a job, so anything I get for you comes directly from me. We have a standing date for Saturday nights and lunch together at school; the rest of your time is with Jamie."

She looked at me really hard and I knew she was making a decision so I tried to give her my best smile. She took a deep breath and finally asked the question I never wanted to hear, "What did you do last night after I left?"

"God, Bella, you ripped my heart open last night. You told me I got one chance with you and I thought I blew it. I wanted to forget you, so I went to first beach and got drunk."

"Anything else?" she asked.

I stared at her beautiful face and wanted her so badly so I lied. "No."

"I'm most likely going to be very suspicious of you, very guarded, and pretty much a psycho bitch," she said and I laughed.

I got out of my chair and walked over to sit next to her with my arm around her shoulder. "You just described my dream woman."

"You're going to hurt me," she stated matter of factly.

"Probably, but it won't be on purpose," I said back just as bluntly.

I saw her eyes move to my lips and I figured now was the time to try and kiss her. I leaned toward her mouth and she put her hand on my cheek. I wanted to kiss her gently but when we connected my arm pulled her tightly to me and the kiss deepened.

She was responding to me without hesitation this time, kissing me expertly and driving me insane. She didn't kiss me like someone refusing to have sex, she kissed me like a woman with pent up needs which were denied for too long. My hand ran down her side as my thumb extended to brush her breast. She whimpered and my hand automatically moved to palm her entire breast.

My mind was telling me to stop but my body was on fire with desire for her. Every sound she made spurred me on until I was breathing heavily and my hips were thrusting involuntarily. She was fighting with her own body as it searched for the release it needed and wanted.

I moved my hand from her chest to her thigh and pushed it between her legs. I could feel the heat coming off of her and I was crazed as I rubbed against her forcefully. It wasn't enough. My hand could feel the wetness of her though her clothes and I wanted to touch her burning flesh and plunge my fingers into her. I reached for the button on her pants and she suddenly grabbed my wrist to stop me.

No girl ever stopped me before and the sudden crash to my body was painful. I pulled away and pressed my palms into my eyes as I tried to keep my anger in check.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I know I was leading you on. I feel things for you I haven't felt before and I lose my head." Her voice was shaky and I knew she must be feeling the same pain of being unfulfilled as I did. I wanted to do anything to take her pain away, but I knew I had to move very slowly with her.

"Bella, we're not going to be able to keep from having sex. It is just the reality of the situation. I want your body so badly because my heart is filled with you. I've never dated one girl and right now I can't even imagine dating anyone else again, ever."

"Right," she said with a strained voice. "It is you I have trouble resisting, nobody else. My heart is filled with you, too."

"So," I said with a smile. "It's Saturday night; if I swear to keep my junk in my pants will you go to a movie with me?"

"You can't take me to a movie yet, you don't have a job," she teased and then looked a bit sad. "I can't go tonight, but next week would work."

"Okay," I said and smiled to hide my disappointment. "Will you please keep the stuff I gave Jamie? I'll be paying the credit card bill."

"How did you pick out such great stuff?" Bella asked and looked down at the bag.

"I looked at Jamie and thought, hum…a size three, and every girl needs a First Doll House," I said with a straight face.

"You're so full of shit," she laughed and pushed me away.

"I do claim all credit for the Mrs. Potato Head," I announced proudly.

"She'll love it, thank you," Bella said and smiled sending my heart into overdrive.

11

I felt the weight of our decision. I needed to find a job, and a way to keep my hands off of her body. One night a week sounded horrendous, but it was better than nothing, and at least I had lunch to look forward to everyday. My dad promised to see if there were any jobs around the hospital and my mother would check with her many clubs she attended.

It was Saturday night, and I was in bed by ten. I was just drifting off when I got a text from Bella**. Jamie loved everything; it was such a nice thing to do for her.**

I smiled and tried to picture her excitement over the doll house and potato head. I wish I could buy things for her constantly. If she was happy, Bella would be happy. The next day I went by the day-care center and knocked on the owner's door next to the center.

"Hi, Mrs. Brown, Charlie Swan sent me over to see about the roof."

She walked outside and took me over to the center to see the size of the job I would be volunteering for. I climbed a ladder and looked at the roof, something I was certain me, Jasper, and Emmett would be able to knock out in a weekend.

"It looks like the yard needs trimmed along the fence, I could do that for you," I offered.

"Actually, I just got funding from the state to hire a handyman, do you know anyone looking for a job?" she asked and I felt it was destiny which put me on that beach, naked.

"I'm looking," I admitted. "Do you need full or part time?"

"Part time, it would be about twenty hours a week," she said. "It's your job if you want it."

"Great, I'll get my buddies over here on Saturday to demo the roof. I'll show up Monday after school to tackle that fence."

"Thank you, Edward. Tell your mother hello for me, will ya?"

"Sure, I'll see you on Monday Mrs. Brown."

I got into my car and sent a text to Bella. **I'm a working man now.**

I felt proud of myself and drove to Jasper's to see Emmett's jeep in front of his house. I went inside and found them working out with hand weights. I wondered if they were getting serious about trying harder to keep their girls happy.

"I got a job," I told them.

"Are your parent's cutting you off?" Jasper asked.

"No, Bella won't let me take her out unless I pay for it myself."

"I thought that was over?"

"So did I. I went to see Charlie and pissed her off enough to give me another chance," I laughed.

"She told Rose and Alice some deep shit," Emmett said and shook his head.

"Like what?" I asked.

They both looked at each other and I knew the girls told them not to say anything, but we had an understanding that our friendship would always come before pussy, so I expected them to tell me. I knew Emmett since kindergarten and met Jasper in third grade. We had been through a lot together and this was something they couldn't deny me.

"The guy who left her was very wealthy. His parents really pressured her to go away and leave the guy alone. They felt she was too beneath him," Emmett said.

It wasn't info that changed anything. I knew the guy made her promises and then left for school. She was only a sophomore and believed his lies. I didn't know how grandparents could walk away, too.

"She moved here because the guy's folks needed her gone before the next political campaign. The dude's some big ass who couldn't afford the bad press," Jasper added.

I shook my head back and forth as I thought about both Bella and Jamie being considered liabilities. "She's so smart," I said sadly. "I can't stand the thought she is giving up college."

"How are you going to end it when you leave?" Emmett asked and I threw a towel at him for insinuating I would sneak out on her. I wasn't thinking that far in advance. I needed to work on beginning a relationship and the difficulty of being monogamous first.

"I got some news and it is going to piss you big time," Jasper said and I groaned and sat against the wall. "Leah's shooting off her mouth; Rose heard you were with her Friday night."

"Son of a bitch," I said and felt my stomach fall. "She won't tell Bella, will she?"

"I'll talk to her," Emmett said and I nodded but felt this whole thing was going to implode on me.

I got a text from Bella, and couldn't help the big smile on my face. **A Job, what a big man you are.**

I wasn't going to let that line pass. **You have no idea, I'll show you sometime**.

**Out of the gutter, Cullen**.

I laughed and put my phone away. I was so anxious for lunch tomorrow. I asked the guys for help on the roof and they both agreed. We were doing something good for our community and it felt great. I'm sure the entire town would be shocked to know we became philanthropic and not just interested in getting high.

I was lying in bed that night, trying desperately to go to sleep when my phone rang. I saw it was Bella and smiled when I answered.

"I can't sleep," she said quietly so she wouldn't wake Jamie who was lying next to her.

"Neither can I," I said and closed my eyes as I tried to feel her in my arms. "I keep thinking of you."

"Do you like rhubarb?" she asked with a slight giggle.

"Hell, no."

"Do you like asparagus?"

"No."

"What about lima beans?"

"Are you asking for a reason?" I asked since I couldn't figure out where she was going with the whole food thing.

"I read somewhere that a man makes love like he eats. And if he likes foods most people don't, he will be very adventurous." I thought about my situation. I had a lot of sex, but the most adventurous I got was doing Rosalie doggie style or having sex in a room full of other people having sex. I wasn't sure I could be considered adventurous.

"Oh God, if Emmett fucks like he eats, Rose is in big trouble," I teased and Bella sighed before saying.

"Don't talk like that; I'm not one of the guys."

I punched my thigh and yelled at myself mentally. "I'm sorry, you're right."

Bella was different, most of the girls I knew could out cuss me with every breath.

"You know when we ate in your car last week?" she asked and I remembered her PB&J sandwich.

"Yes."

"I watched how you ate," she said very softly.

"And?" I asked and held my breath.

"It is why I can't sleep," she giggled.

"Come over here," I begged knowing she couldn't and wouldn't. If she ever came to my bed I would never let her leave, I would hold her hostage here forever. "I miss you."

"I'll see you first hour tomorrow," she reminded me.

"Yeah, along with thirty others, come get in my bed and it will be just you and me."

"Edward, I want to talk to you about something and I really should do it in person, but it is about us having sex."

I noticed she said 'having' and I was hoping she was reconsidering her ban on sex until marriage. The entire idea was insane and we had trouble controlling ourselves already. If I ever had her alone in my room it was absolutely going to happen.

"Do you want to talk tomorrow during lunch?" I asked and she chuckled a little.

"No, I think we should talk about it now."

"Okay."

"Um…you know I am adamant about not ever putting myself in the position of getting pregnant again," she said with a final tone.

"I have condoms," I said with a final tone, too.

"No, not even with condoms," she said and I squeezed my eyes shut. "But I'm adamant about intercourse, not… you know, other things."

My eyes shot back open and I prayed I understood her correctly. I was good with 'other things' if they were the things I was thinking they were. "So, as long as there is no possibility of pregnancy than its all good?" I asked with a voice full of hope.

"Yeah," she said very softly and I knew I would never get to sleep now. I was going to be picturing her in my mind in every single 'other thing' I could think of. "Edward, I'm not a prude, I just…."

"I get it, Bella, we're good," I said softly and suddenly feeling so responsible for her happiness. I wanted to fulfill her fantasies and take care of her heart. There was not another girl on the earth I ever felt responsible for, she owned me and I had so much hope that we had a future together.

"Good night, Edward," she whispered.

"Good night, Love."

The next morning I rushed to school and waited for her in the parking lot. There was a light drizzle and when she pulled up I held open the passenger door for her to jump into my car. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her like I had been dreaming of all night. She responded as if I had been starring in her dreams, too. Her hand went into my hair and she tightened her fist, pulling slightly.

The windows were fogging quickly and I would be content to forget about school and sit in the car all day with her, but our little foggy cocoon was ruined when Emmett pounded on the windshield. We both got out of the car and I took her hand in mine as we walked to English.

She sat at her desk and I bent down to lean on the top to talk to her. Jessica came up and smiled before saying loudly. "How was Leah this weekend?" I felt sick to my stomach and Bella looked at me as she waited for my answer. I glanced at Jess and then moved in closer to talk directly to Bella.

"Leah is a girl from La Push. I've known her since we were little," I tried to explain without admitting to anything. The teacher walked in at that point and I walked to my desk and tried wetting my bone dry throat.

Bella turned in her seat and looked back at me, staring as if she expected me to explain further in front of the entire class. I smiled at her, feeling my mouth shaking and she finally turned around. I knew I had to find a story before science. I glanced over at Jessica and saw her looking at me with a smirk. I wouldn't be able to lie my way out of trouble. I was going to have to tell Bella, and suffer the consequences.

I walked her to her next class and she didn't speak the entire time. I was glad we had to go to science today and didn't have our lab already turned in for this week. Bella walked with me and as soon as we sat down she turned to face me.

"I've given you two days to tell me something, if there is something to tell," she said and her eyes grew wet.

I pushed some hair out of her face and said softly, "I'll tell you everything at lunch."

"So, there is something to tell me?"

"Shit, there is so much to tell you and I guarantee you are not going to like hearing any of it," I said and decided to tell her everything about my pitiful life. All the things she would hate about me no longer existed. Once she decided to give us a chance I lost all interest in the things I had done before. I hadn't even smoked since Saturday night.

We worked on our lab and I marveled at how bright she was. She easily worked equations and understood many parts better than I did. I was amazed by her, but there was a part of me saddened by the turn her life had taken. She should be having sleep over's with friends and sneaking boys into her room instead of rushing home to take care of a child.

When lunch came I was shaking as I took her hand and headed to my car. When we sat down she pulled out a paper bag. "I made something for you," she said with a smile and I had hope that we weren't going to have the big discussion.

She handed me a cookie bar and looked anxious for me to try it. I opened the baggie and took a bite of the bar. I rolled my eyes back and moaned, "God, this is so good, you made this?"

"Yeah, I made up the recipe and it is kind of a signature thing. I call it a Bella Bar," she said and blushed as she said it. "I love to bake and these are really expensive to make, but you got me the certificate."

"If this is what you make, I'm getting you more certificates," I said and took another bite.

She smiled and pulled out another bag full of the bars and handed them to me. I leaned over and kissed her gently. She kept the kiss light, and instead of putting her hand in my hair she held it softly to my cheek. When I pulled back she looked at me with sad eyes.

"You're going to tell me you slept with Leah, aren't you," she asked and I looked away so I wouldn't have to see the look on her face.

"I've slept with Leah many times," I said with a sigh. "I've slept with most of the girls in our grade, except Angela and Alice."

"Rosalie?" she asked.

"I dated Rose for a bit. I cheated on her constantly and she cheated on me with Emmett. I never wanted a relationship with anyone. I thought this was my time to be selfish and do whatever I wanted to do. I figured I would grow up down the road and change my behavior."

"And you think you can just change one day and be with one person?" she asked and I noticed a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"Only if the person is Bella Swan," I said honestly and she blushed.

"What will your parents say about you dating someone like me?"

"Like you? You mean smart, beautiful, amazing…"

"I mean a mother at sixteen." She turned and looked out the window as if it was painful for her to admit even to herself.

"Bella," I said and waited for her to look at me. "You've made me change so many things in the short time I've known you. I think my parents prayed someone like you would come into my life. You make me a better person."

She smiled and held my face with both of her hands and kissed me several times. "I don't like talking about him, but I want you to know something Edward, I never loved him. I was young and he was a senior. I like that he wanted me, but I didn't love him."

I looked into her eyes, knowing how easy she would be to love and hoped she could love me back. She handed me half of her sandwich and watched me closely as I ate, so I purposely ate in a very provocative way, making her laugh and give me a kiss with her mouth full of food.

12

I was turning into a lovesick patsy, finding it impossible to study, and living from lunch hour to lunch hour. I honestly thought we would be getting hot and heavy in my car, but we talked, and I found everything about her fascinating. She was a quirky kid, an only child who longed for siblings. I couldn't remember wanting a brother or sister once in my life.

We talked about everything except Jamie. I wasn't sure how to broach the subject, since she was pretty clear her life as a high school student and her life as a mother would never mix. I finally was forced to bring it up when I was working at the day care and saw a worker being pretty rough with one of the kids.

I learned kids fought over stuff a lot and the meaner kids took advantage of a full room to bully the more passive kids. Bella always picked up Jamie right after school, so she was never at the center when I was there working.

We were sitting in my car sharing a bag of chips I bought when I said, "Is Jamie a quiet kid or is she assertive?"

Bella immediately tensed and took a moment to respond. She finally looked out the window and said, "She's a little girl, she can be whiny and also giggly."

"I've just noticed at the center it can get pretty overwhelming for the teachers sometimes, so some of the kids get bullied."

Her eyes turned instantly angry and she looked as if she would cry any moment. "It would be great if I could stay home and care for my own baby, but I can't. If you know of a better solution tell me, I would love to hear your solution."

"I…I…didn't…I mean, I didn't know if you were aware…."

"God, Edward, do you think because I am only eighteen I don't know what goes on with my daughter. I spend every moment I can with her to make up for the fact she has to go to day-care."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that."

"It cost a lot of money for a private sitter. I can't do that to my dad."

"Why isn't the prick father paying you support? He doesn't have to see her, but he should pay for her care."

Bella's tears began falling down her face and she turned to face away from me. I felt like an idiot and reached over to pull her into my arms as I apologized over and over again. She suddenly grabbed me tightly, holding on as if I was trying to get away.

I raised her chin with my finger and kissed her tenderly, but she deepened the kiss and climbed over the console to straddle my lap. I couldn't push her away if I wanted, because she was plastered against me, moving and moaning until I was completely undone.

"I need you, Edward," she said with just a breath and my hands grabbed her ass and held her tightly as I rubbed my cock against her. The sensation was overwhelming and my body, which had been dormant for the past weeks, came alive with a need beyond my control.

I brought my hand between us to undo my pants and pulled her hand down to touch me. "Ah, God," I cried out when her hand circled me and moved up and down with expertise.

My hand ran up her shirt and under her bra to feel her breast in my hand. I kneaded it with the rhythm she was setting as my hips began thrusting involuntarily. "Bella," I cried out. Wanting her to kiss me or to say words that would make me know this was okay. She continued jerking me with her hand and I forced my eyes to open and look at her. When I saw tears I quickly moved her hand away harshly as I gasped for air.

"I'm just a stupid girl who can't take care of her child," she cried and I stared at her as I shook my head. "I'll do what you want Edward. Is this what you want? It is all I'll ever be, so do you want me every day in your car?

"No," I cried out and then tried to think clearly. I wasn't sure what had just happened, we were talking and then suddenly she was all over me. I pulled my hand out of her shirt and moved to zip up my pants as she climbed back into her seat.

"This is different Bella, because I love you. I am not some jackass trying to get off before class. So why don't you explain what that was for you, because it felt like you were trying to take something out on me."

"None of this matters Edward, I finally see that now. It doesn't matter if I get all A's, because I'm never leaving Forks. It doesn't matter if I fuck you in a car, because you are going to end it with me anyway. Nothing matters," she said and jumped from the car.

I was pissed, and not just because I was left with an aching boner but because she still didn't believe I would be there for her. I let her go, no wanting to deal with her shit right now. If she thought I was running after her every time she had a melt down when I mentioned Jamie, she was wrong.

I went to the tables to find Jasper and nodded for him to come talk to me. "What's wrong, you look pissed," he observed.

"I need to make more money. This eight dollar shit doesn't do it."

He looked at his feet for a moment and I simply waited for him to talk. "I'm not sure if you can do this, Edward. I mean, it isn't illegal but it is really shitty work. I spent the first week barfing my guts out."

"What does it pay?"

"I work one Saturday a month and one night a week and I make fifteen hundred dollars. But Edward, believe me when I tell you, it is not a good job," he said, but I was fixated on the money. I didn't care what it was, but the chance to make that kind of money was just what I needed.

"Can you get me on?"

"Sure, come with me tonight and we'll see how long you last."

I nodded and turned to walk off. I blew off the rest of school and went to the day-care so I wouldn't leave them without the small tables I was supposed to put together for the toddler room. I immediately looked for Jamie when I entered the room. She was lying on a small blanket, still asleep from nap time.

I was lost in thought while building the tables and looked up to see some kids watching me, one was Jamie. I smiled at her and she smiled back. "Is this table for you?" I asked her and she took a step toward me.

She spoke to me and I caught a few of the words but I couldn't understand the entire sentence. I sat on the floor to be on her level and asked, "Did you like your new doll house?"

"Yeah, da doll house an da doggie," she giggled.

"It has a doggie?" I asked, knowing I purposefully got her that accessory.

"An da mommy, wif da daddy," she said and moved closer again.

"Does your mommy play with you?" I asked and smiled at the thought of Bella playing with the doll house.

"Yeah, mommy silwy, she does funny boice."

For some stupid reason the thought of the Bella making a funny voice got me a bit hot. I smiled and went back to the table building as she continued to stare at me. The other kids were playing and running around but Jamie watched me put together the tables.

"Do you want to help?" I asked her, and she dropped the blanket she was holding and nodded as she stepped closer.

I handed her a screwdriver and she giggled loudly and pounded it on the table top. I kept an eye on her, making sure she didn't put the screwdriver near her face. She was called over for a snack and I heard her protesting over what it was.

"I no wan it," she said and the teacher insisted she give it a try.

She began to cry and I walked over to see what the problem was. She sat with some apple slices on a small plate and the woman was trying to put a piece in her mouth as Jamie fought to keep her mouth shut.

"Hey," I called out. "She doesn't want it."

"It is snack time and she has to eat what is state approved for her health," the angry teacher informed me.

"State approved?" I gasped. "Have you asked Bella what she wants?"

"This isn't your problem, Edward. Go back to work," the woman said with a loud voice.

"Like hell it's not," I said and walked over to pick up Jamie and walked to the door. The teacher screamed for me to stop, but I pulled out my phone and called Bella. I was shocked she answered and looked up to see it was time for gym and she would be in the locker room.

"Bella, I'm taking Jamie to my mom. She's crying and I'm not putting up with this bitch shoving apple slices down her throat."

I was sure Bella would scream and yell at me; telling me to leave her child alone and she would leave school and come right over. Instead she said very softly, "She hates apples."

"Give your permission for me to take her to my mom," I said, and handed the phone to the pale woman looking very guilty.

She spoke to Bella and nodded for me to check out with Jamie. I put her in my car as she tried to calm her tears. "Jamie, what is your favorite thing to eat?" I asked and smiled at her tiny face.

"Mushies," she said.

What in the hell are mushies? Maybe my mom would know so I drove to my house, talking silly and getting her to laugh the whole way. I carried Jamie inside as she looked around with wide eyes

My mom was ready to ask why I was home when she saw Jamie. "Edward, what's this?" she asked and smiled at the small girl.

"Jamie, this is my mommy, Esme. She won't make you eat apples," I said and Jamie got a big smile on her face. Her features were so much like Bella's and it touched my heart to see her smile.

"Mom, this is Jamie, Bella's daughter. Do you have a clue what mushies are?"

My mom held her hands out for Jamie and asked, "Do you like smashed bananas, sweetie?"

_Bananas_, I thought. How in the fuck did my mom know that? I followed them into the kitchen and watched them interact. Jamie was soon talking a mile a minute and my mother seemed to be able to understand every word, but I was still lost.

Jamie held up some of the smashed fruit for me and said, "Wan it, Deader?"

Esme smiled and said, "Yes Deader, would you like a snack, too?"

"Yeah, make it something substantial, I have a new job and will be out late tonight," I sat down and my mom raised her eyebrows at me.

"I'll keep my grades up," I said misunderstanding her concern.

"I thought you needed money to date. Is there something more you need?"

"Yeah, I need to find a private sitter for Jamie," I said and my mother sighed and gave me a warning look. I knew she must think I was insane for taking financial responsibility for Jamie and Bella, but someone needed to.

My mom fixed me a sandwich and I went upstairs to change into some working clothes. I came back down just as Bella pulled up. I went outside to talk to her before Jamie caught a glimpse of her. She looked stressed and I walked over and pulled her into my arms. "I love you," I said and she looked up at my face.

"Just like that?" she asked.

"What?"

"I thought you would say it after sex, or some important date, but you say it in the middle of the afternoon as I come to pick up my daughter?" she smiled and I knew she was teasing me.

"Oh, you're not here for sex?" I asked pretending to be shocked.

Her face got serious and she said, "I'm really sorry about lunch. It wasn't fair to take out my frustrations on you."

"I want you to feel you can talk to me about anything, Bella. I feel there is this taboo around the subject of Jamie. If I'm with you she is part of it."

Her arms wrapped around me and she laid her head on my chest. "Edward, I love you, too."

Her words meant the world to me and I kissed her passionately. I felt like things were working because we were both mature enough to make it work. I was such a stupid ass, but for now I wanted to believe everything would be fine.

We walked into the house arm in arm and heard Esme playing with Jamie. Bella smiled and peeked her head around the wall to watch. Jamie saw her and screamed loudly. I stood back and watched Bella pull the little girl into her arms and hugged her with fierceness.

"I haf mushies," Jamie announced.

"You love them, don't you?" Bella laughed.

"Deaderd tewl da teacher no appows."

"I'll talk to her and make sure you don't have to eat apples anymore, okay?" Bella said and kissed Jamie's cheeks. "Thank you, Mrs. Cullen, for watching her."

"She's a beautiful child, if you ever need someone to look after her, please don't hesitate to call," my mother offered and I began imagining all sorts of possibilities.

Bella picked up Jamie and walked to the doorway. "Hey," I said, "You can stay a bit, can't you?"

"No," Bella said and looked a bit pissed I even considered asking her to stay. "We need to get going."

I followed her out the door and rushed to get in front of her. "I want to talk to you about a private sitter," I said and saw her jaw set in anger. "I want to pay, I got a better job and I can help Charlie with the difference."

"It isn't your responsibility to help pay my bills, Edward."

"Then let my mom help out. She would be able to watch Jamie for free," I said and grew angry when Bella ignored me and placed Jamie in her car seat. She got into her truck and started the engine before turning to look at me.

"Edward, I'm not acting all possessive over a puppy or a math book. This is my daughter and I make the decisions about her life, not you."

I wanted to tell her I planned on being in Jamie's life, and I was determined to find a way for us to be together and still reach our goals. I wanted Bella to have a shot at college and not cost Jamie anything. But my lofty ideas took time and Bella would have to learn to trust me, we weren't anywhere near that yet.

"I'll see you at lunch," I said and leaned in to kiss her as Jasper pulled up.

"Are you working with Jasper?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, and he isn't dealing drugs, I promise." I smiled but Bella gave me an odd look and glanced over at Jasper. "Bye Jamie," I said and she giggled.

I banged on the hood of the truck and Bella drove off. Jasper looked at my clothes and shook his head. "You need gym shorts and a t-shirt, and some fresh clothes in a bag."

"Okay, my mom's in the kitchen," I said and he got a big smile on his face and trotted off to see his real love.

I changed and got a bag with other clothes and came into the kitchen to hear Jasper telling my mother about a song he was writing. He was such a fucking liar and would say anything to impress my mother. She played along and pretended she would run off with him if my father would allow it. She handed us both a banana and we headed out the door.

"So are you going to tell me what we'll be doing?" I asked.

"We're going to the docks in Port Angeles. We're going to clean out the holds on fishing vessels. It is hard work, smells like shit, and pays well."

"You can just show up and have work?" I asked.

"I have an in with a bunch of the crews. I can work anytime I want. They will let you work too anytime you want, but Edward, the work is hard so don't go ape shit on this."

I nodded but I was already counting up the money I could make. If Bella could get a scholarship I would save up enough for her to go to school without having to work. She could live with me and I would spend summers working on the docks to keep us together. My plan was foolproof; I just had to convince Bella.


	5. Chapter 5

13

It took me two weeks to stop vomiting from the smell inside the holds. Jasper stopped coming with me, too exhausted to keep up with my pace. I was excited at first for the idea of making so much money, but I was slowly falling behind in school. Lunch in my car now consisted of Bella doing homework as I took a short nap. She constantly complained about my lack of sleep, but it would be worth it.

We spent Saturday nights at a movie or concert and when she insisted I drop her off and go home to sleep I didn't complain too much. Our physical relationship was almost nonexistent. She didn't have to worry about me putting the moves on her; I was too tired to get it up. I was living the life of a middle aged man, and I was eighteen years old.

It was a Saturday night and I was supposed to pick up Bella at six thirty, at seven forty five I felt someone shake my arm to wake me up. I opened my eyes to see her looking down at me. I turned to see the clock and gasped as I jumped up.

"I'm sorry, I was just going to rest for a minute," I said, and she gently pushed me back down on the bed and climbed in next to me. I closed my eyes and she moved her leg over mine and snuggled up to my side.

I was totally relaxed and when I heard her breathing pick up and her leg begin to rub up and down mine I opened my eyes to look at her. Her eyes were half closed and she kissed my neck with heavy hot breaths. "Bella," I whispered and she moved over onto me with straddled legs.

She moved to kiss my lips and I rolled her quickly so I was lying between her legs. I moved up and down and she locked her legs around me moving in rhythm with every stroke I made. I pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it onto the floor.

I moaned at the sight of her breasts and quickly moved my mouth over one as my hand filled with the other. She arched up into me and sighed as I increased the pressure of my hand and tongue. I wondered if it had been two years since she got the release she needed and knew she wouldn't last long. I sat back onto my knees and quickly began removing her pants.

Her rules were no intercourse and I wouldn't pressure her for something she would regret later but I knew I could do other things for her, if she would trust me and not pull away. I could feel her legs shaking and I pulled her knee to my lips and kissed my way down her inner thigh. I made sure to watch her reactions and she kept her eyes shut tightly.

"Bella," I said softly and she opened them to look at me. "Is this okay?"

She nodded and took a deep breath so I raised her hips up to meet my mouth. She gasped loudly as I ran my tongue up her folds and stopped to concentrate on her most sensitive spot. I had done this many times, especially when I was out of condoms or the girl had gotten me off and wanted reciprocation, but this was different. I wanted her to know I could do this for her, that it was my mouth on her most private place.

I listened to her; finding what got the best reaction and feeling her muscles tighten in her legs and begin to shake. I could tell she was close as my taut tongue moved in and out of her. She reached for my hair and I thought she would pull me away, but she pushed with force needing me deeper. I moved my hand to where she needed it and returned my tongue to her apex sending her crashing over the edge.

Her entire body tightened and her hand fisted my hair tightly as she screamed out in pleasure. I was hard as a rock and raised onto my knees to rub her over me, back and forth as I let my head fall back and feel the pressure of her wet pussy on me.

She pulled me by the shirt to the side of her and climbed over me with her head looking down at my crotch. She quickly pulled down my jeans and I locked my arms around her legs to return my mouth to her. I cried out with amazement when her mouth connected onto my cock.

I had blow jobs many times, more than I could count and with more girls than I could recall, but it had never been done by a woman I loved. Her technique was different too. She didn't plunge me into her throat like other girls. She started slow and teased me with just my head going in and out of her mouth, then licked the length of me as I hissed in pleasure.

Her tongued found the right spot and flicked quickly back and forth until I was crying out, begging her to take all of me. When she took me all the way into her mouth I arched up and lost it. She didn't pull away and continued with her sucking motion long after I began to soften. I also continued working her body again and this time she fell to the side as her body convulsed in waves.

I pulled her sweaty body to my chest and held her tightly as I thanked the stars for sending her to Forks. I kissed her head over and over as I tried to find the words to express my love for her. "You are so amazing, and you're here. I can't believe you're here," I babbled.

"I lost control," she said with a slight laugh and I held her tighter.

"God, your body responding to me got me so hard," I admitted and she laughed.

"I was watching you sleep and suddenly I just wanted you so badly," she admitted.

"Can you come watch me sleep every night?" I asked and wished she would say yes.

"I watch you sleep every day in school. You're falling behind Edward. If you don't be careful you'll blow your chance at Northwestern," she said and rubbed my chest softly.

"Hey, I actually want to talk to you about that. What if we go to Washington State instead?"

She sat up and looked at me. "What?"

"You can get a scholarship, and I'll have enough money saved so you won't have to work. We can live together and I'll help you with Jamie." I smiled and thought she was just too stunned to speak.

She moved off the bed and I sat up to see her putting her clothes back on. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"No," she said angrily and moved quickly and roughly as she dressed.

"Hey," I said and grabbed her arm but she quickly pulled away and glared at me.

"I am not letting you do this, Edward. You are going to Northwestern and then on to medical school. I am not a part of your life beyond this year, so stop planning my future for me."

"I'm trying to find a way for us to be together," I said in shock.

"There is no us together outside of this year. Maybe I don't want to go to college. I want to get married and have another baby. I want to find a guy who is older and settled and at the same stage of his life as I am with mine. I'm not messing up your future, Edward."

"You want another baby?" I asked and felt like my head was spinning. She was only eighteen and stuck with one child already, how could she want another.

"Jamie is two; she'll be three when I graduate. I don't want my children to be eight years apart. I want a home Edward."

"Okay, I'll stay and give you everything you want. I'll keep the job at the docks and we'll get a place of our own," I said to make her at least consider a life with me.

"No," she yelled, "Damn it, no. You need to go become a doctor, it is your path and you have to follow it. I ruined my life and I will not ruin yours."

"I have no life without you," I yelled loudly. "I'm doing all of this for you, Bella."

"You are planning a life I don't want. I don't want you, Edward. Do you understand, I don't want you."

She turned and ran from my room. She was in my bed, letting me give her body pleasure and then she was gone. I felt numb. My life was spiraling out of control and I wasn't' sure how to get it back. I had been working my ass off for a plan that she didn't want. I curled up on my bed, unable to move and stared into the darkness.

I didn't come out of my room all weekend. I told my mother I didn't feel well and she chastised me for working so many hours. I assured her I would not be working anymore and she seemed relieved. She brought me food, but I remained in my bed trying to find the will to continue on.

I had changed damn it, I was a new person, but it wasn't enough for Bella to want me. By Monday morning I had a new resolve. I spent the last three months as a fucking pussy all for Bella Swan and it was over. I was back and I wouldn't make such a mistake over a girl again.

I walked into English and refused to look at Bella; I went right to Lauren's desk and looked her up and down as I licked my lips. "You look really pretty, Lauren, want to go to lunch with me?"

She glanced at Bella and I said loudly, "Old news."

She smiled and leaned forward so I had a great view down her shirt. Lauren was stacked and I appreciated her tits and the view they offered. "Sure, Edward, let's do lunch."

I walked to my desk and began working on homework I had been putting off for sleep. When class was over I walked past Bella's desk and she put her arm out to stop me. "I just wanted you to know I'm taking my GED and going to work at the station."

"Why would I give a shit what you do?" I asked and her eyes filled with tears.

"I just thought I should tell you," she said softly and I walked away. I was glad she was leaving school and I wouldn't have to look at her anymore. I wished she would leave town completely. The thought gave me an idea. I had considered the idea of graduating midyear and heading to school in January, maybe I would look into that possibility again.

Science was awkward since Bella had been doing most of our labs as I caught up on sleep. I sat at our table and pulled out the worksheet and began working on it alone. I was surprised Bella had sat down without my knowledge when she handed me all the finished worksheet. I glanced at them, but left them sitting on the table.

She left class and it was the last time I set eyes on Bella Swan.

At lunch Lauren was waiting for me and I walked ahead of her to my car. She sat in Bella's seat and I reached over to dig though my glove box for a cigarette. I found a couple and lit one as Lauren began unzipping my pants. I smoked a cigarette as she got me off, never speaking a word to her.

She got out of the car when the smoke began to make her cough, but I stayed and smoked both cigarettes, never giving her needs a thought. The car door opened and someone got in. I looked over to see Rosalie staring at me.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said and I wondered how the news spread so quickly.

"I was stupid, Rose. I got played," I said.

She looked away and I could tell she knew something she wasn't saying. I wasn't in the mood to try and guess her news so I looked away and ignored her. She finally said, "Edward, do you think Alice and Jasper have a chance in hell of ending up together? She'll go to some fancy college and he'll stay here and work on the docks."

"If she loves him enough they could work it out. I was willing to go to school in Seattle, Bella didn't want me."

"Do you think your father would be the surgeon he is today if he gave up the top schools and went to a state school? You have the grades and the means, don't give up your future for a girl you met three months ago, that would be stupid, Edward."

"How are things with you and Emmett?" I asked her.

"Why, you want me back?" she teased. I looked over and her and gave her body a quick scan and she laughed loudly. "I am not stupid enough to go back to you. You couldn't be faithful if your life depended on it."

"I was to Bella," I said and felt sad.

"It was an anomaly. Cheer up Edward," she said as she opened the door. "There are plenty of girls around here willing to soothe your wounded heart."

I watched her walk back to the school and tried to find a reason to finish the entire school year, I couldn't. I went to my afternoon classes and worked like hell to catch up on my homework I let slip. I showed up for gym and hoped Bella would be there, but she wasn't.

I got home and my mother walked toward my car. I hurried into the house and went right to my room, slamming the door and locking it. I didn't want to see her right now. She would try to cheer me up and I didn't want to be cheered.

By dinner my father was home. We all ate in silence and I stood to leave when my father asked me to sit back down. I slumped in my seat and rolled my eyes.

"Son, what did you think was going to happen?"

"Nothing," I said and moved to stand.

"Some things in life take patience. It isn't the right time in your life to worry about a wife and child. That time will come, but it isn't now."

"Dad, there is nothing you can say to make me feel better about this. I learned my lesson and I'm moving on. I plan on graduating midterm and leave for Chicago in January."

"I think that would be best. We'll move forward with those plans." My father gave me a weak smile and watched me leave the room. I was lucky I had such great parents, but even that hurt to acknowledge right now. His words didn't offer comfort, I knew it wasn't patience that I needed, it was Bella.

I got in bed after finishing some English packets and stared at the ceiling, missing her beyond explanation.

14

I began spending lunch in the library to get packets done so I could be done with this hell hole at Christmas. I spent a couple of lunches in my car with Lauren and one Friday night with Leah, but I wasn't partying or staying out like I used to.

I got home one snowy afternoon and heard my mother talking to someone. I looked in the kitchen and saw Jamie. My heart ached and I turned to leave when my mother called to me. "Edward, I need a favor. I have to run a report to the hospital; can you watch Jamie for half an hour?"

"Bella won't allow it," I said and my mom gave me a stern look.

"It is just half an hour and I'm not taking Jamie home until six. She's had her snack so just play with her."

I looked at the little girl who looked so much like Bella and smiled at her. "Did you eat bananas?"

She giggled and nodded her head. I held out my hand and she came over and took hold of it. We walked into the family room and I grabbed a book and sat her on my lap to read to her.

"Da puppy," she said and pointed at the picture.

I pretended to bark at her and she squealed loudly. We worked our way through the book and she kept insisting I bark over and over again. I sat the book down and she put her head on my chest and sat still. I began to sing and she listened intently. When I stopped she looked up with her big dark eyes and said, "Do a gin."

I started the song over again, feeling my heart clinch as I held her knowing it would be something I wouldn't do again. I kissed her head and felt my tears fall from my eyes. How did that ass walk away from Bella and Jamie, I would give anything for them to belong to me.

When my mom got back I sat Jamie on her feet and she ran off to see my mom. I headed up the stairs and my mom called out for me. I stopped but didn't turn around. "I'm sorry, son," she said and I nodded and continued up the stairs.

Jasper and Emmett showed up, trying to cheer me up but they were only getting on my nerves. They acted like I needed them here for some reason and I finally asked them why in the hell they were at my house.

"We want to be here for you," Emmett said and glanced at Jasper.

"Why?"

"I don't know, we're friends, if you want to talk about it, we're here."

"Talk about what?" I asked and looked right at the much too quiet Jasper.

"Um…Bella's dating Jacob Black."

I stared at them both, unable to comprehend what they were telling me. Jacob was a cop Charlie hired from the reservation. He was a good guy, dated Leah until I began messing with her, and was liked by most of the town. He was older and exactly what Bella needed, but the thought made me sick.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"She still talks to Rose and Alice," Jasper said.

I chuckled and stood up, grabbing a mug off my desk and throwing it across the room and shattering it against the wall. The thought of Jake touching her and sitting with Jamie on his lap was more than I could handle. I went downstairs and got a bottle from my father's cabinet and we all headed to first beach. I wanted to drink Bella out of my head and find somebody to screw. I was sick of Lauren blowing me in the car.

I found Emily. I had done her once, before she got into a long term relationship with Sam. They were in a fight and she was looking for anything to get her mind off of him. We went at it like rabbits. I was rough and she stayed right with me, taking our anger out on each other. I don't think we even spoke during the whole process and I was only vaguely aware of people walking past where we were lying on a blanket in the sand.

When she finally got there I let go with a vengeance. I didn't use a condom and didn't bother asking her if she was on the pill. I was leaving in two weeks and could care less what I left behind. I got up without telling her good bye and made my way back to the car. Jasper shook his head and told me something to plummet me further into a decline.

"Shit, you just fucked in front of Bella," he said and reached out to steady me.

"She's here?" I asked and looked around frantically.

"She was, she walked right past you and Emily. Jake got her out of here, but she was crying."

"She was crying?" I said with venom. "She dumps me, but then cries if I don't sit around jacking off. She can go fuck Black, I don't care. Where's Emmett?"

"He's with some chick, don't say anything to Rose," Jasper said and I hated this town with everything I had. I got into the car and finished off the bottle. I don't remember getting home, but I woke up to my alarm so I could finish my last day at Forks High.

It was just like I expected it to be. I showed up hung-over after doing someone I could care less about at first beach the night before. I was graduating as the prick I had been all through high school. Alice and Rose decorated the picnic tables and made a cake. They thought it was something to celebrate.

"Are you coming back often?" Alice asked after jumping on my back and speaking into my ear.

"Why would I do that?" I asked hatefully.

"Because we still love you," she said and sounded like she was going to cry.

"This is all high school bullshit, and the first frat boy to ask you out will make Jasper a distant memory. " I looked at Rose and saw her eyes narrow and her chin stick out in anger. "What?" I yelled, "You think you have it easy because of how you look. Maybe you should check into where Emmett was last night; you're not the only fuckable face around here."

Jasper and Emmett froze and looked at me with shock. I broke our code, my last day of school and I betrayed my best friends. Rose stormed off and Emmett stood and walked up right into my face. I thought for sure he would punch me, but he looked so disappointed. "You are such a bastard," he said and I nodded in agreement, before he turned and walked off to find Rosalie.

I spent over an hour in the counselor's office getting all the paperwork done, but walked out as a graduate. I was done with Forks and the image of Bella would no longer haunt me. I only had to make it through Christmas and my life in Chicago was waiting for me.

My parents owned a condo close to campus we rented out. I would be living with a man who was a semester ahead of me, majoring in premed just as I was. I would have my own room and my own car so the city would be mine to conquer.

My parents took me to dinner to celebrate the end of my life as a child, although my actions didn't represent the milestone. I was moody and took offence to every comment they made. There was only one bright spot, the news we were spending Christmas in Brazil and the Denalis were joining us. The thought of Tanya on an island finally put a smile on my face.

I did one last thing to prove my humanity before leaving my life in Forks behind. I went shopping to buy something for Jamie for Christmas. I wanted her to have something from me that Bella wouldn't take from her or refuse to let her have. I walked through the mall for hours, until I found my way into a jewelry store.

I looked through the cases and settled on a small charm. It was the letter J and I had two caret diamond placed in the white gold metal. I got a small chain she could wear now and a longer chain for when she grew older. I arranged for it to be delivered on Christmas Eve, since I would be long gone.

We arrived on the island a day before the Denalis and I spent the entire day in the ocean. I felt rejuvenated by the sun and sand, but by nightfall all I could think about was Bella, never coming to see this beautiful place, or spending romantic nights on the beach. I would have to make do with Tanya.

I was lying in a hammock when my mother came out to climb in with me. "I'm going to miss you so much," she said with a shaky voice.

"You'll be able to relax and not be embarrassed when you come into town for once," I said to cheer her.

"I've never been embarrassed by you, son. I know you're heart is hurting and I wish I knew how to fix it for you."

"I could have made it work, mom. She wouldn't let me," I sighed.

"She loved you very much and proved it by giving you up. My first husband let his dreams go, and he ended up blaming me. Bella didn't want you to eventually grow to hate her. You are too gifted to be cleaning out ships, Edward. She knew that."

"We could have gone to college together. She needs an education as much as I do," I said adamantly and realized the pain I still held over the subject of Bella.

"And maybe she will get one sometime down the road. Her life is focused on Jamie…"

"She told me she wants another baby, so her children are not so far apart. She is eighteen and living like she is ten years older. I don't think she should have kept the baby, mom. As much as I grew to love Jamie, she should have given her up."

"Edward, you don't get to make Bella's choices, especially if you try to make them fit into your needs and wishes. Bella chose what was best for her, not you."

"Mom, she's going to end up married to Jacob Black. I can't stand it," I said and felt like I was going to cry.

"Edward, Jake is a good guy, she'll be happy with him."

"But I'll never be happy without her. I know it sounds stupid but it is my biggest fear. I've dated a lot," I said and couldn't pull off the line of shit I was trying to serve, so I clarified. "I've used a lot of girls and never thought twice about it. What if Bella is the only woman I would be faithful to?"

"Being faithful is about maturity and self acceptance. You have a lot of growing to do, but you'll find love, honey, I promise."

I nodded and decided to stop the heart to heart. My mother would never understand what I felt for a girl I knew for such a short amount of time. Maybe years would change my opinion, but for right now I felt like my world was ending.

I went to bed and got up early to do some snorkeling before Tanya arrived, since I planned on other activities when she showed up. I swam for an hour and made my way back to the beach just as their boat pulled up. I walked to the end of the dock and waited for them to make their way toward the house.

Tanya was pulling a suitcase and I took it from her. "You brought way too much clothing," I said and winked at her.

"No, I brought Christmas gifts," she said and I felt like a dick for not even thinking of getting her anything. I was sure my mother got her something to open and didn't stress about it too much. I would spend more time kissing her, it should make her happy.

"How long will it take you to change into a very tiny bikini?" I asked and she took her bag and went right to her room.

Our parents were busy making their own plans when Tanya returned with a pair of tiny shorts and a bikini top. I looked her up and down and began to get hard. I grabbed her hand and pulled her with me to the beach.

"Are you anxious?" she asked with a laugh.

"You have no idea, God, look at you," I said and let my eyes appreciate her surgically perfect body. She didn't look like a normal twenty year old woman; she looked constructed to be perfectly symmetrical.

"I have to tell you my new obsession," she said with a sexy voice and leaned in to whisper into my ear. "I'm into anal sex."

I looked at her, not sure if I was into her new obsession or not. It felt a bit too gay for me and I wondered if I was going to need some liquor before finding out. Tanya laughed loudly and pulled me into her arms. "Be open minded, Edward. How many times do you get to feel like you're fucking a virgin?"

I rolled my eyes, virginity was overrated. I wasn't into girls crying or getting all emotional. I like girls who know what to do and what to expect. But a girl who knew what to do, but felt like a virgin had some appeal.

"What do I have to do to get you ready? I mean, how will I know if you're not wet for me?" I asked and liked the idea it was Tanya educating me.

"We use lost of lube," she said and I got weirded out again. I pictured myself jerking off and it all sounded way too male, but if Tanya liked it there had to be something to it.

"Do I get to cum?" I asked and she laughed again.

"Trust me, Edward. Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Fine, but come into the water and do me now, so I can keep it hard for you tonight."

"Ah, thanks for the invitation. I would love to do you right now," she said and removed her shorts and walked into the surf as I followed behind.

I pulled her into my arms and she reached down to remove her bikini bottom and wrapped her legs around my waist. I walked around a knoll and into a secluded area of the beach before stopping in the waist deep water. She pushed my suit down and guided me into her as she kissed me passionately. I held her hips tightly to my body as she used her arms to move up and down me.

The waves gently rocked us as she let her head fall back and picked up her speed. My legs were tight as I held her and pumped with my hips. "Now Edward, please give it all to me, right now," she yelled.

My body clenched and she screamed out so I followed right behind. She took a deep breath and collapsed into my arms kissing my neck softly. "Thank you, Edward. It was so amazing. You let me go first and I appreciate it."

I smiled, totally a fan of Tanya's manners.

15

We all spent the afternoon on our boat. We went water skiing, snorkeling, and came back to the house for a great dinner of shrimp and sea bass. The wine was flowing and my parents assumed I was sipping one glass, but actually I was drinking directly from a bottle hidden in the other room.

I wasn't sure about Tanya's plan for the night so I was drinking heavily. Tanya was as sweet as always and for a few hours I was enjoying the evening and forgot all about Bella, until my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was Bella. I almost choked on the rum ball I was eating. I jumped up and went into the other room to talk.

"Hello," I said and felt my whole body sway so I sat down.

"Edward, it's Bella. I went by your house but…"

"We're in Brazil," I said and notice how much I was slurring my words.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"What did you want? You called and I can talk…"

"Are you sure about that?" she laughed and it hurt as if I was punched in the gut. I didn't want her to be capable of laughing without me in her life. I heard myself moan and she grew quiet.

"I'm focusing, so you can talk," I said, thinking it made total sense.

"I wanted to ask you about something that came for Jamie, but you're gone so…"

"The charm?"

"You sent it?" she asked in shock.

"Yeah."

"Edward," she said sadly. "It is too much, she's only two."

"Bella," I said painfully. "I want her to have something to show I loved you once. Please let her keep it," I begged. The line was quiet and I had so much to say but I couldn't concentrate enough to organize my words.

"Is the stone real?" she finally asked.

"Yes, every girl deserves diamonds. I wanted to give you diamonds, Bella. Would you have accepted them?" I asked and she sniffed as if she was crying.

"I'll let her keep it; she can wear it on special occasions, Merry Christmas Edward."

"Don't hang up," I begged her and felt my own tears falling.

"I have to go, Jake is waiting. Good luck in school, Edward. You'll be a phenomenal doctor," she said as she cried, no longer trying to hide it.

"Are you screwing Jake, Bella? Are you letting him do what you denied me, so you can get that house and baby? You know what they call a girl who sleeps with a man for what he can give her, don't you."

"Edward, don't…please."

"Do you like being a whore?" I asked and she immediately hung up. I dropped my phone onto the floor and fell back onto the bed and passed out. I had no memory of speaking to Bella, and woke up Christmas morning to find Tanya wrapped around me. This was so familiar, the headache, the unwanted girl in my bed, the feeling of self loathing. I had to find a way to get past this and truly grow up.

I pushed Tanya off of me and got out of bed to take a piss. I stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. It was something I hated to do because I didn't like the guy staring back at me. I made my way from the bathroom and saw my phone on the floor.

I groaned as I bent over to pick it up. I looked at the history and stared at it like I was unable to read simple words. Bella called, but it wasn't a missed call so I must have talk to her. I walked out into the bright sunlight and quickly went back inside to get my sunglasses. I made my way to the hammock and hit redial.

It rang several times before some dude answered. "Hey, um…can I talk to Bella?"

"This is Jake, don't ever call her again you piece of shit," he said harshly and I could hear Bella asking him to stop being so rough.

"I called her phone officer prickhead, not yours."

"She's wearing my ring, so don't call her at all, little boy. Go away and stay away, Edward. The entire town will be better off without you."

His words hit home. I didn't care what pussy names he called me, but announcing Bella was wearing his ring when I could hear her in the background ripped me to pieces. She was officially gone, and must have called last night to tell me about her engagement. I was just a little boy to her, unable to give her a home and another child, so she found a man who could.

I looked at the house and couldn't stand the thought of going back inside. I didn't want to look at Tanya let alone allow her to touch me. It was a least an hour later when my mother came outside looking for me. She was dressed and looking beautiful as always. I smiled, knowing Jasper would love to see her in the morning light.

"Hi," she said and smiled at me. "Merry Christmas, son."

"Mom, I don't tell you enough, or probably at all, but I love you," I said as my eyes filled with tears.

Her eyes began growing wet and she tried to smile but could only nod. I climbed out of the hammock and gave her a hug, holding onto her, the one woman who loved me back. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just found out Jake and Bella got engaged."

"Oh Edward, I am so sorry," she said and gave me another hug.

"Why can't I grow up, mom? I am so worthless and I go back to being such a dick so easily. Is something wrong with me?"

"Honey, when you go to Chicago concentrate on school, everything else will fall into place, I promise."

"Have you ever been proud of me, mom?" I asked and knew my mom, who was simply happy I lived, would lie and say yes.

"I don't know the version of you others, like friends and girls, know. I know the sweet child, the smart young man, and the emerging self aware man. I am always proud of you and I love you very much. Let's go inside and have Christmas with your father."

I followed her into the house and saw the Denalis smiling up at us. Tanya was sitting on the couch and patted the spot next to her. I walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Tanya," I said and she smiled widely.

My parents handed me a gift and I took it shamefully. I set it by the side of the sofa and waited for Tanya to open hers. My mother got her a cashmere sweater and when I reached out to feel the material Tanya smiled and held it up to my cheek. I finally got up and got the gifts I bought for my parents. I felt awkward giving them in front of the Denalis and my parents sensed it.

My mother took the wrapped present and went into the kitchen to check on the turkey. My father was talking to his friend about politics and Tanya went to get dressed, so I picked up the gift from my folks and opened a new laptop.

I glanced at me father, who was still talking and waited for him to look at me. "Thanks, Dad. I love you." His eyes locked onto mine and I could tell my declaration touched him. He swallowed deeply and smiled as he mouthed, "I love you," silently.

I got up and went into the bedroom to put the gift away, when Tanya opened the bathroom and tossed her head, inviting me in. "I'm going to shower later," I said and headed back into the common room. My mother brought me a plate with a warm roll and I saw she was wearing the diamond earrings I got her.

"They look beautiful on you," I said and she smiled as she pulled her hair up to show off the earrings. I wished Bella had diamond earring from me, I wished she was smiling and showing them off as my mother was. But she had a diamond from Jake and it was his ring she was showing off.

I waited until Tanya was in a deep conversation with her mother to take a shower and dress. I shaved and tried to look decent for my mother's sake. When I came back into the room Tanya looked me up and down and asked if I wanted to take a walk.

I took her hand and led her down the beach without speaking. She finally leaned her head against my arm and spoke. "Edward, don't feel guilty. We're friends and I don't expect anything from you."

"I don't want to treat you like this Tanya. I really value our friendship and I treat you like shit. I want to do better."

"You've never treated me like shit," she said adamantly. "You're fun to play with. If you don't want to play anymore we won't. But don't act all weird, I'll miss you too much."

"I don't want to play anymore," I said and she sighed loudly.

We walked for quite awhile and she finally pulled me to a stop and pulled out a small gift. I looked at the package and shook my head. "Come on, I got it just for you, open it."

I pulled off the wrapping and opened the small box to see a chain with the Greek symbol delta. "It means change. I meant for it to symbolize this new phase of your life, but I guess it means a lot more." She reached out and took the chain and put it around my neck.

I put my fingers to the triangle shape and felt it, hoping it was really a new beginning for me and I would be capable of change. Bella changed me and I had to find some motivation to keep changing. My life was hurtful to me and my family and it was time to really change.

It took Bella's engagement for me to finally grow up. I was heading off to college and I knew the consequences in Chicago would be much direr than tiny Forks if I continued living like I did. It wasn't easy. Looking at Tanya and having her show up in my bed on more than one occasion took strength and fortitude. I had to admit the anal sex also scared me into a newfound sense of morality.

I returned home tanned, clear, and ready to move on. I just had to say goodbye to my buddies first. I planned a night out with Emmett and Jasper and shocked the hell out of them when I refused to get high or drunk. We sat along the beach next to a huge fire and talked as the waves crashed against the rocks.

"Emmett, be faithful to Rose. She'd be a great girl if a guy treated her right," I said and realized it sounded superficial coming from me since I had cheated on her constantly.

"Her father hates me," he said and shook his head. "He'll never let me really have her."

"Rosalie Hale doesn't let anyone tell her what to do, not even Mr. Hale," I said with a laugh.

Emmett chuckled and nodded his head, "Yeah, we plan to get an apartment together for college, but we won't tell anyone."

I looked over at Jasper and asked about his plans. "I have a buddy who is going to show me how to fix up old boats; maybe I can get a better job on the docks."

"What about Alice?" I asked.

He smiled but I could see the pain in his eyes. "She'll end up in Paris, designing ugly runway shit." We all laughed and I knew I was going to miss these two guys so much. "So you're going to become Dr. Cullen," Jasper said.

"The second," I added and smiled. "If I can stay out of prison or out of fights."

"Just keep it wrapped, so you don't end up fighting paternity suits," Emmett said and I looked at the dancing flames in the fire. I came so close to raising a kid and it wasn't even mine, but the part that sucked was I would give up everything right this moment if she would take off his ring and be mine.

"Did you hear Bella is engaged?" I asked softly and they glanced at each other. "Jake told me," I said so they knew I wasn't hearing rumors.

"She told Alice you really did a number on her by calling her a whore," Jasper said and my eyes shot over to him.

"I never called Bella a whore, God, I would never do that," I said in my own defense.

"You didn't talk to her on Christmas Eve, while drunk?"

I stared at him, waiting for him to laugh or assure me it was a mistake. My stomach lurched and I felt the need to vomit, but I had nothing in my stomach to throw up. "What did we talk about?" I asked with a terrified voice.

"She told Alice you got the kid a gift and she called you about it. She wished you luck at school and you asked her if she was fucking Black and then called her a whore."

"Oh God," I said and jumped up to run to my car.

Emmett and Jasper followed and yelled to me, "She's in Florida visiting her mother."

I pulled out my phone and then worried about Jake being with her and screening her calls. I looked at Jasper and said, "Call her for me. If Jake answers tell him Alice wants to talk to her."

Jasper pulled out his phone and nodded, telling me Jake answered. It angered me that he would answer Bella's phone like she was a grounded teenager. "Hey, this is Jasper, is Bella around? I have a question from Alice." I smiled, liking how he worded it.

He handed the phone to me and I heard Bella say, "Hi Jasper, what's up?

"Bella, I was drunk and had no idea what I was saying. I would never call you a whore, never," I said quickly.

"Um…just a sec Jas," she said and walked into another room. "Edward?"

I took a deep breath, just talking to her was making my mind to spin and I had to find some way to convince her I didn't mean what I had said. "Bella, I want you to be happy, if Jake makes you happy I'll let you out of my heart. I think you are an amazing woman and he is lucky to have you."

"Edward, why did you have to call?" she said softly and I could tell she was crying.

"I'm leaving in the morning. Did I really call you a whore, Bella?"

"Yeah," she said with a quiet breath.

"I'm a drunk, Bella. I'm a fucked up piece of shit, so don't listen to a word I say. You're incredible," I said honestly and saw for the first time how much I didn't deserve Bella.

"No, Edward, you are the one who is incredible. Can Jamie tell you thanks for the charm?"

I was caught off guard. She never offered to let me talk to Jamie and I felt she was making an exception because she knew my heart was broken. "No, Bella. I don't want to confuse her, so just let her think Jake gave it to her."

"Edward…."

"Are you happy?" I asked when she didn't finish her sentence.

"Do you remember the time at lunch when you ate the zucchini bread I made and I forgot to add the sugar?"

"It was sweet because you made it," I said and smiled at the memory of choking down the awful stuff. I had no idea where she was going with the analogy.

"Sometimes we make a life without the sugar, because we forget. Don't forget to have sugar in your life, Edward, don't choke down stuff and pretend, okay?"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," I laughed and she laughed along with me, sounding like music but also cutting like a knife. I never wanted to hang up. Maybe we could make a relationship work if we stayed on the phone forever.

I heard Jamie begin to cry and she sighed. "I have to go," she said.

"Okay, Happy New Year," I said and closed my eyes.

"Have a great life," she responded and hung up.

I took a deep breath and knew I was ready to leave Forks forever.


	6. Chapter 6

16

I got home from school and found a note from my roommate Felix. He was a great guy to live with because he was seldom home. He studied hard and spent the weekends with his girlfriend. I was taking a full load of classes and continued on during the summers. I was sober, celibate, and bored as hell.

_Your mom called and wants to know if you're coming home for spring break_, his note read. I groaned and knew I had to come up with another excuse. I vowed never to return to Forks and had managed to stay away for three years. My parents came to Chicago a lot and I had made two trips to Brazil, but Forks was not something I would consider.

I reached for my phone just as the doorbell rang. I opened without looking through the peep hole and saw a small blonde smiling at me. "Hi, I just moved in next door, my name is Jane."

"Do you need help with anything?" I asked wondering if she came over for some muscle to move some things.

"No, I just wanted to introduce myself," she said with a smile.

"Well, come in," I said and stood back so she could enter. She had a very impressive ass and my body was responding. For the first time in years I could envision myself having a relationship with someone. Not necessarily this girl, but maybe the memory of Bella had tampered enough to give another girl a chance.

"Are you a student?" I asked her and held my arm out for her to sit.

"No, I work at the exchange. My uncle imports from Italy so I got into trading." She was smart, too. I was really finding her intriguing and not just hot. "What do you do?" she asked.

"I'm a senior at Northwestern, I start medical school in the fall," I said with pride and noticed how her eyes lit up.

"So I would call you Doctor….."

"Oh, sorry, I'm Edward Cullen. I have a roommate Felix, but he is out a lot. Do you have a roommate?" I asked.

"No, I have the place to myself. I just got out of a relationship with a real jerk, so I'm glad to be on my own for a bit."

Her words made me smile. If she didn't want a boyfriend I would happily be her fuck buddy. "I'm sure you have a lot of unpacking to do, so let me take you to dinner tonight. I would feel awful if you forgot to eat," I said and gave her a half smile.

"Sure," she said with a sexy grin. "Nothing fancy, I'm not sure where my good clothes are."

"I could order pizza and we could forget about clothes altogether," I said, surprised how easily it was all coming back to me.

She laughed and stood, "Take me out and we'll see how the night goes."

"Are you offering me a challenge, Jane?" I asked as I walked her to my door.

"No, think of it as incentive," she said and I watched her ass sway as she headed next door.

I now had my excuse for staying away from Forks for Spring break. I would tell my mother I was in a new relationship and didn't want to be away just yet. She was so desperate for me to find someone I was sure she wouldn't push the break situation.

I made sure to put on clean sheets and scrub the bathroom before getting ready for our date. I had been wearing any old clothes to school, but pulled out a nicer shirt and jeans for this date. I shaved and added cologne which had set unused since I got it as a gift for Christmas.

The walk next door made me feel like myself again. I had spent too many hours in the damn library and I really needed this break. I knocked and waited anxiously for her to answer. She opened the door and I smiled genuinely. She was short, but was now wearing high heels so her legs looked long and sexy. She had on a really tight shirt and I wanted to protest when she added a small jacket over the top of it.

"Is it cold out?" she asked and I laughed.

"It's Chicago, it's always cold out," I said and held her coat for her as she put it on.

We rode silently in the elevator and walked in the underground parking to my car. I held the door and she smiled up at me. "Thank you, it feels nice to be with a gentleman." Memories of Tanya filled my head and I hoped like hell Jane wasn't into anal sex.

I drove to a small steak house in a suburb my father had taken me to during his last visit. We sat in a dark booth and Jane looked at me with her big blue eyes. "I have to admit I'm impressed," she said and picked up the menu.

"This is nothing," I said and picked up my own menu as she looked at me. "I hope you brought your toothbrush," I said without meeting her gaze.

"Maybe you're the one needing to bring a toothbrush," she teased. "Who said we're going to your bed?"

I leaned in and said softly, "Because I'm being a gentleman, and my condoms are in my bedside table."

She laughed and leaned in so she was only inches from my face. "Nobody wants a gentleman during sex, and I have my own supply of condoms."

I was very relieved to hear it, since mine had been sitting dormant for a long time. I was getting hard and didn't want to chance a broken condom to send her running home. I picked up her small hand and kissed it softly before saying, "Your place it is."

We ate and chatted about the city. I told her I was from Washington State and she said she was from Delaware. Our conversation was easy and effortless and by dessert I wanted to do her right here in the booth. There wasn't a moment during dinner I thought of Bella once. Jane was charming, bright, and fun. It made me wonder about the prick she just ended a relationship with.

"So the guy that sent you to my neighborhood, is he still a possibility?" I asked sounding like I was afraid of competing but actually I wasn't ready to fight for a girl. If she was using me to get some guy pissed I wasn't interested.

"He was one of those guys that come from a rich family, full of shit, and the only thing he does more than lie, is cheat."

I nodded as if I knew guys like that because I did; I looked at one in the mirror every morning. I felt a ping of consciousness and didn't want to rush things and hurt this girl again. I decided to pull back on the sexual banter and simply get to know her.

"Tell me about your job," I asked and she began a very detailed description of her day, until my eyes were ready to glass over. She finally stopped and looked at me to laugh. "I guess I should have been more specific," I said and she laughed louder. She had a great laugh and it put a smile on my face.

"How old are you?" She asked.

"Almost twenty-two," I answered and regretted using the word almost, it sounded juvenile and like I was trying to impress her by being an adult.

"Well, almost twenty-two, Edward, are your ready to get out of here?"

I took one last sip of my wine and stood to help her with her coat. We walked to my car with her hand holding onto my arm. I opened her door and when she stepped forward to sit I pulled her against my body and kissed her.

She tasted like wine and lip gloss and I ran my hands down the back of her body to her great ass. She arched into me, giving me exactly what I was wanting and I deepened the kiss. Suddenly out of nowhere I head Bella's voice call my name. I pulled back quickly and looked around the parking lot.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked.

"Um…nothing, I thought I heard someone call my name." It didn't sound like it was coming from across the lot, it sounded like she was right next to me, or in my head.

"Are you psychic, because I was mentally screaming your name," Jane teased and got into the car. I walked to my side as I kept looking around for the voice I had heard so clearly.

I was quiet on the drive home and couldn't get my mind off of Bella. I wondered if I had some sort of connection with her and she needed me, or if kissing Jane reminded me somehow of Bella. We walked to the elevator and when we entered she moved to lean against me and smiled up at my face.

"You're beautiful," I told her honestly as my mouth quivered a little.

"So are you really coming to my bed, or would you be more comfortable in yours?" she asked.

"Neither," I said and tried to say it with a smile, but her face fell in disappointment. "I really enjoyed tonight and I think I would like to get to know you better." I tried to search my mind to see if it was true or if I was so afraid I would hear Bella's voice and not be able to get it up.

She chuckled and stepped away from me. "Look Edward, you're a really nice guy, but I'm not looking for a relationship. If you want to come to my bed, fine, but don't feel like you have to date me."

"If I come with you tonight it will be strictly to fuck you, are you okay with it?" I asked bluntly.

She smiled and came back into my arms as the door opened. She took my hand and led me to her apartment door before saying, "I'm more than okay with it: I'd prefer it."

I followed her inside and she began removing her clothing as she walked toward the bedroom. I smiled and teased her, "I guess you're needing some dick pretty badly."

"You have no idea," she said and climbed up on her bed.

I took off my clothes and laid them on some boxes, not planning on spending the night. When I climbed onto the bed she pulled me right onto her and began kissing me passionately. She was hot and wet and I couldn't wait to enter her and feel what I had been missing for so long.

"Where are your condoms?" I asked and she shook her head and laughed. I didn't understand what she meant and I pulled back.

"We're waiting for someone," she said with a grin and I tensed and began to pull away. "I have a friend named Heidi, you'll like her."

"You want me to do you both?" I asked with wide eyes.

"No, we'll both do you," she smiled and I felt like I needed a lot more to drink. It wasn't that I was a prude or uninterested, but this was serious shit and I needed some liquid courage. She read my mind and got out of bed and brought back a bottle of vodka.

I took a long drink and heard her door open. I looked at the doorway and waited; a tall sexy brunette walk into the room naked. She was too thin for my taste, but had thick gorgeous hair which made her look like a model. I took another drink and she climbed up on the bed and straddled me. Jane quickly got behind her, both sitting naked on my body.

"Hello," Heidi said with a thick accent that sounded like she was from Italy.

"Yeah, fuck the pleasantries," I said and took another drink. I had been interested in Jane, but I had no interest at all in Heidi. If Jane needed her to get off, I was quickly losing my interest in Jane, too.

"Will you let us tie you?" she asked and my heart began beating wildly.

"Hell no," I said and put the bottle down to stay lucid. I wasn't going to end up robbed or part of some kinky sex video. I was from Forks, but I wasn't stupid.

"Can we play?" she asked and I quickly asked for clarification, "With toys," she added.

Rose had talked about sex toys before too, so I looked into it. There were some really scary toys on the market and not just leather whips and chains.

"I think you girls have the wrong man," I said and tried to get up.

"You're scaring him," Jane said angrily and pushed her friend aside. She began kissing me softly and moving against me causing my body to come alive. I felt a hand take hold of my cock and had no idea whose it was until Heidi took me into her throat. I gasped at the feeling and realized with clarity it was nothing like when Bella did it.

Jane was continuing to kiss me and run her gently hands over my chest as Heidi got more and more aggressive with my dick. It was sensory overload and I felt tears begin to fall from my eyes and into my hair. I didn't want this, I wanted Bella to love me and hold me. This felt wrong and dirty.

When I ejaculated it was painful, emotionally and physically. I waited for the girls to move away and I curled into a ball. Jane and Heidi began kissing each other and I grabbed my clothes and ran. I didn't bother putting them on, I unlocked my door and ran right for a shower.

I let the spray douse me as I sat on the floor and cradled my legs. I wasn't this guy anymore and what just happened sickened me. I stuck my upper body out of the shower and reached out to my jeans for my phone. I dialed Bella and waited for her to answer.

Instead I got a recording telling me the number was no longer in service. I threw my phone and sat against the tiled wall and cried. I had fundamentally changed and this was the proof I needed. But it was too late to go home and claim Bella as mine. She was gone.

My parents never gave me information about Bella, and I had thought it was because she was married and they knew how much it would hurt me. But, maybe she moved to Florida with her mother and there was nothing to tell me. I wanted to believe she was out there in the world somewhere, missing me as much as I was missing her.

17

After that night I only saw Jane in passing. We never spoke to each other and I warned Felix about what it meant to get involved with her. He was happy in his relationship and stayed away from Jane, too. It was my second year in med school when I had my next encounter with her.

A guy on our floor was holding a neighborhood party so Felix and I stopped by. Everyone had drinks and the party was loud, but it was easy to make out Jane and Heidi. I got a drink and moved toward the stereo when Jane approached me holding a man's hand.

"Edward, this is my ex, Riley," she said and then turned to Riley, "This is the guy who doesn't like three ways."

"Suck it, Jane," I said hatefully and turned away from her. She giggled and left Riley to talk with me. I expected him to try and make me an offer to join him and Jane in bed, and planned to deck him if he did. Anyone involved with Jane, even as an ex had to be fucked up.

"She's a mess," he said and I looked over at him in surprise. The guy looked normal, and I suddenly realized why it didn't work out between the two of them. I extended my hand and introduced myself properly.

"You're from Washington State, right?" he asked and I nodded. I didn't like Jane telling people details about me. We went to dinner once, and experienced some twisted shit in her bed, but we were not friends by any stretch of the word.

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"Arizona originally, but I went to school at Stanford and moved to Chicago to work on the mayor's political campaign."

Chicago politics was always a dicey thing and this year's campaign was especially brutal with a very tight race. "How's that working out for you?" I asked and he groaned causing me to laugh.

Felix walked up and I introduced the two men. "Felix and I are med students," I explained and Riley nodded. We talked about the Chicago weather and the problems with traffic and finally decided to go to our apartment and drink some beers and talk.

I liked Riley and wished I would have met him before I met Jane. It could have saved me a lot of nightmares. We sat in our quiet apartment talking about world events when Felix asked him how he got involved in political science.

"My father is lieutenant governor of Arizona, so I guess it is in my blood."

He began talking about all the political problems the state was experiencing and why Chicago was a better place to start his career. His talk of Arizona was making me think of Bella and I grew quiet in the conversation.

"You really dated Jane?" Felix finally found the nerve to ask and we all laughed.

"Yes, she's a freak, but great with the birth control. If she slips she takes care of it, unlike most of the stupid bitches in the world."

I looked at Riley, really looked at him and saw something in his eyes that look familiar, the almond shape I had seen before. I thought back over his comments about his life and everything fell into place. My hands were shaking and I tried to lick my lips with my dry tongue.

"You sound like you have experience with unwanted pregnancies," I said with a shaky voice.

"I don't, but I know a couple of dumb ass bitches who do," he said and Felix laughed along with him.

I tried to think of a cleaver thing to say to gain the information I wanted but only two words would come out of my tight chest. "Bella Swan," I said and watched his face turn pale white.

"Who?" He finally managed to say and gave me a weird chuckle. He waited too long for the response and his pale face gave away everything. It only pissed me off more that he was pretending not to know her.

"She could have been someone great, but you left her with your kid. And just so you know, your daughter is amazing."

Riley stood and I jumped up and pushed him back into the chair where he sat stunned and shaking with fear. Felix looked at me as if I had lost my mind and I felt like I had just a bit. This was the fucker who ruined Bella's life and he was laughing at her and calling her a bitch.

"Your daddy let you run away like a pussy, but you're not running from me. You have a daughter who is adorable and sweet and alive. Her name is Jamie and she hates apples but loves bananas. She has a mother who gives up everything to be with her. You owe her a life, and an education, and love. You owe her money if nothing else. So Riley, who works on the mayor's campaign and has a lieutenant governor father, you need to write a check or I'm going right to the Sun Times tomorrow."

"I don't have any money," he said with wide eyes.

"Yeah, I don't either, but my father does, and I'm sure yours does, too."

"Are you blackmailing me?" he asked with a hint of anger.

"No you ass, I'm giving you an opportunity to make it up to your daughter. One check and your conscience is clear and your daughter goes to college."

"How much?" he asked.

"One hundred thousand and you never have to look back. Surely, daddy's shot at the Governor's mansion is worth that much? Bella will keep her mouth shut, but I won't."

"Fifty thousand," he bargained.

"Fine, but I give her the check, you don't go near her."

He got up to leave and I sat back down and called to him. "Riley, you can't run. I have the financial means to come after you and the connections to plaster your face on every rag magazine around."

I prayed he bought my threats. I wasn't sure I would have the will to see Bella. If she was married to Jake and raising children with him I would have an attorney give her the check. But a part of me hoped I would at least get the opportunity to see if she was happy.

I waited to hear from Riley, planning to give him one month before I made a surprise visit to the mayor's office. I got a call three weeks later that a check would be sent directly to my bank and I could pick it up there.

I called home and braced myself to hear for the first time in five years what happened to Bella. My mother answered and said quickly. "Please say you are coming home this summer."

"Maybe," I said and she screamed loudly into the phone.

"I'll call Jasper and let everyone know. They ask about you so often," she gushed.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Does Bella still live in Forks?"

"Yes, son, she does," my mother said and I could tell by her tone she didn't want me to know something sad.

"Is she happy, mom?"

"No, Edward, she's not. She married Jake, but they didn't last too long. She still lives with Charlie."

I know I should have been sad for Bella, but I couldn't contain my joy that she was not Bella Black and I had a chance now. Jamie would be seven and in school, so nothing would keep Bella from being able to move to Chicago as I finished up my last two years of medical school.

A huge smile came to my face and I said, "Mom, I'll be home all summer."

I had to force myself to focus for the last two weeks of classes. The place I swore I would never return to now held all my hopes. I was more than anxious to see everyone, but it was Bella I wanted to see the most.

I tried to imagine how she would look and how much Jamie would have changed. I had conversations with her in my head, trying to anticipate every objection she could possibly have to refuse me. I wasn't coming back without her, period.

I drove to Forks in only two days, stopping for gas and to sleep, but nothing more. I pulled into our garage in the middle of the night and wished more than anything I could wake Bella up and hope Charlie wouldn't shoot me. I went into my room and found it just as I had left it years ago. I fell onto my bed and when I placed my hand under my pillow I felt something.

I pulled out a note written by Tanya. "Edward, I hate visiting when you're not here. Please come home soon."

I wadded up the note and threw it in the trash before falling asleep. The next morning I woke up to my mother coming into my room with a tray of food. "Welcome home, my prodigal son," she teased.

I sat up and she placed the tray over me. "Thanks," I said and took a bite of toast after she kissed my cheek.

"How's school?" she asked.

"Good, I haven't decided on a specialty yet. I may end up in family practice because I can't decide on anything else."

"You want to treat colds and ear infections?" my mom asked, telling me family practice was not something my father would approve of.

"We'll see," I smiled. "Tell me what happened with Bella and Jake."

"Oh you know, gossip feeds this town," she said and looked away.

"So what are the gossips saying?" I pushed.

"Jake was very possessive, and Bella seems like a head strong girl," she explained which didn't explain anything actually. I knew Bella could be stubborn and I got a taste of how possessive Jake was when I called her on Christmas and he wouldn't let me talk to her, but it didn't explain what happened to their marriage.

"Mom?" I said to prompt her.

"It won't do any good to go crazy, Edward," she said and I set my coffee cup down and waited for her next words. "He got….physical."

"He hit her?" I asked with hardly any volume to my voice.

"Charlie fired him, of course."

"He hit her?" I asked louder.

"She doesn't need some ex-boyfriend stirring up trouble, Edward," my mother said harshly.

"I asked you a question, did he hit her?" I said loudly and clearly.

"No," my mother said and looked away from me. "He hurt Jamie."

I was so filled with adrenalin I thought I was having a heart attack. He hurt Jamie, which was Bella's biggest fear. She devoted herself to keeping Jamie safe and her own step father hurt her. "What did he do?" I asked and was terrified of the answer.

"He swears it was an accident, he was only trying to discipline her, but her arm was broken."

I stared in shock and tried to find the words I wanted to use but they alluded me. She pushed me aside for Jake, only to be betrayed again. I was young, but I would have loved Jamie and never hurt her. I wondered if Bella realized the irony of dumping a prick like me and trusting an officer who was supposedly more mature.

"Does she know I'm coming for the summer?" I asked.

"Not unless Jasper told her, I didn't."

I nodded a couple of times and began working on my food so I could get ready and head to the Swan's house. I was going to have to rethink my planned conversation and hoped I could find the right thing to say so she would trust in me.

"Honey, Charlie is dropping off Jamie here at ten. Should I ask him to find someone else?" I wished so badly it was Bella coming, but I needed more time to prepare. I also didn't need a lecture from Charlie about what a man whore I was and a warning to stay away from his daughter.

"No, I want to see her, but don't tell him I'm home just yet," I said and my mother smiled and leaned over to kiss my cheek again.

After eating I went into the den to say hello to my father. We got lost in a deep conversation about medical school, before he left for the hospital. I was showering when Jamie arrived and didn't worry about running into Charlie.

The sound of a child talking filled the kitchen and I walked slowly toward the door as I listened.

"And then she fell off the teeter totter and said I caused it by pushing my feet too hard, but if I pushed off it would make her go to the ground, so it can't be why she fell off," Jamie was explaining. "She's just mad because I can run faster than she can."

I stepped into the kitchen and saw a very young version of Bella sitting in a chair eating a cut up banana. She looked at me with a surprised face and I smiled, "Sure you don't want Apples?"

Her head dropped and she remained quiet, so my mother walked over to put her arms around the small girl. "Honey, do you remember Edward?" I expected the talkative two year old and was a bit surprised by the shyness of her demeanor.

Jamie shook her head back and forth and Esme explained further. "He is my son and when you were two Edward lived with us. You called him Deader and he was a friend of your mother."

Jamie looked up and I could see nothing but fear in her eyes. I stayed at the far side of the room and added, "I bought you a pink ball once and it angered your mom."

Her lip moved as if she wanted to say something, so I waited. "Did you get me the potato head?" she asked.

I chuckled at the memory of throwing it into the cart, so sure she would play with it for hours. I looked Jamie in the eyes and nodded. "Yes, and the doll house, it angered your mom, too."

She slowly brought her hand to her throat and pulled a chain to reveal the J with the diamond. "Did you get me this?" she asked and her eyes filled with tears. I couldn't believe Bella was letting a seven year old wear around a two caret diamond after telling me she would only wear it on special occasions, but I nodded and felt my own tears building.

Jamie's head fell to the side and she stared hard at me. I smiled but she furrowed her brow and squared her shoulders before speaking again. "Are you my father?" she finally asked and my heart went right to my throat. I looked at my mother for help on how to respond, but she was as stunned as I was.

I knelt down to be eye level with her from across the room and said very honestly, "I really want to be."

18

Riley Biers was the stupidest bastard on earth. He could have Bella and Jamie and gave them up for someone like Jane and Heidi. It sickened me to know this child in front of me had an aching heart because of such a stupid fuck.

Jamie kept the charm in her hand as she watched me very closely. I walked over to the kitchen table and sat on the end across from her. "You look so much like your mother," I said and tried to keep my voice steady.

"My mom has darker eyes," she said as if repeating something she had heard often.

"Does she still drive that old truck?" I asked and Jamie laughed and nodded. "I need to talk to your mother; do you know when she'll be home?"

"She works at Newton's and she gets home at…" she looked at my mother and Esme whispered, "Five." Her eyes came back to mine and she said, "She'll be home at five."

"Okay," I said and smiled at her.

I couldn't wait until five, Bella was just a few miles down the road and I wasn't going to sit home and wait. I stood and said to my mom and Jamie, "I'll be back later, do you need anything from town?"

My mother gave me a wary look and I knew she was worried about Bella's reaction when she saw me, or worried about my heart if she refused to talk to me. I left the house and drove toward Newton's Outfitters. When I saw her truck my heart began to pound.

I walked into the store casually and began walking down the aisles looking for her. I saw Mike stocking some shelves and quickly moved to the next row before he could see me. I heard her voice before I saw her. She was helping someone with a fishing rod and the man was questioning everything she was telling him.

She had her back to me and I waited for her to finish her explanation. The man took the rod and walked away. Bella shook her head a bit and turned to head down the aisle. Her eyes glanced at mine and she quickly came to a full stop.

"I'm not sure that was the best fishing rod, assholes usually need a stronger gage fishing line," I said and watched her mouth pull into a smile.

I took a step toward her and she flew into my arms. I pulled her to my chest and held her tightly as she began to cry. I inhaled her hair and my body reacted to the familiar smell of strawberries. "God," I said and kissed her head as she clung tightly to me.

I reached down to the apron strings and pulled them so it would fall off of her. I picked her up in my arms and headed for the door. When we passed Mike I yelled out to him. "Bella's got a fever and she'll be out for the rest of the day." I didn't wait for him to respond and continued right out the front door.

She didn't offer any protest and I smiled down at her beaming face. I put her in my car and drove to a remote road in the forest where we could have some privacy. I pulled a blanket from my trunk I put there for the trip home and led Bella to a small clearing.

We both sat down on the blanket and I couldn't find the words to say everything I was feeling. I finally stretched out onto my elbow and looked up at her so she did the same. We were only inches apart and she smiled and said, "Hi."

I couldn't control my hand and it rose to touch her cheek and move into her hair to pull her toward my mouth. She didn't pull back, but instead leaned in so I could kiss her thoroughly. The feeling of kissing her took over my senses and her arm wrapped around my waist pulling me even closer.

I let my body lie back, pulling her onto me as I moved. My hand began to wander as she pressed into me with the weight of her body. It had been so long since I had been physical with a woman, but this was the woman I loved so my reaction was so much more intense.

I rolled her over and kissed her gently and pulled away. She looked hurt or rejected so I ran my finger over her lips and said softly, "Not here, not like this."

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"I'm home for the summer. I came to see you and see if we have anything to salvage."

"I was so stupid, Edward. I thought you couldn't handle a wife and child because of your age. It turns out some people can never handle it," she said and her eyes looked so full of regret.

"He hurt her, I'm having a hard time processing it," I admitted and felt angry all over again.

"He didn't do it on purpose, I was there when it happened and it was an accident."

The thought she would defend him blew me away. You don't break a child's arm by accident. I wondered if she really loved Jake and wanted him back somehow. Bella could tell I was struggling to understand so she sat up so we could talk.

"Edward, it wasn't Jake's fault Jamie couldn't adjust, and it wasn't Jamie's fault I had spoiled her so badly. She was used to sleeping with me and you don't change that overnight. She always had my undivided attention and Jake expected to have it, too. He wasn't good with kids and Jamie didn't know how to have a father."

"He knew you were a package deal," I pointed out and Bella shook her head.

"No, I kept him and Jamie separate, like I did with you. I was wrong."

"She's at my house. I talked with her this morning and she asked if I was her father."

Bella's eyes teared up and she covered her mouth with her hand. "She's been asking about him a lot. What did you tell her?"

"I told her I want to be," I answered and Bella's eyes widened. "I've wanted to be her father the moment I fell in love with you. I worked so hard at the docks to provide for both of you," I admitted.

"You're not a fisherman, Edward. You're a doctor," she said softly.

"My father told me life was about choices. I chose you and Jamie; you just didn't choose me back. Was it really the house and stability that made you choose Jake?" I tried to be open minded but the fact she married Jake and never gave me a shot still hurt like hell.

"I loved you, Edward; I loved you enough to let you go, because I couldn't ruin your life. I told myself if you came back it showed me we belonged together, but you didn't come back, so I married Jake."

"Did you love Jake?" I asked.

"I loved the idea of Jake," she admitted. "I also learned a lot about you and I have to admit it scared me. How is it you don't have any children running around?"

I shook my head and let my eyes fall. "I don't know, I was such a whore," I admitted. "I graduated and knew I had to grow up sometime, but it was your memory that kept me celibate."

"You expect me to believe you haven't had sex since leaving here?" she asked and I could tell she thought I was full of shit.

"I had sex with Tanya the Christmas Eve I left here and then some freaky shit with a neighbor two years ago. I can't pretend to be so moral; school was kicking my ass most of the time."

"Edward Cullen, I believe you actually became a man," she said and I pushed her crossed leg with my hand. "I can't believe you screwed Leah the night of our first date and then got me to forget about it by confessing all your shit. You're good, Edward, you should be a lawyer."

"I was honest, just not specific," I said and wanted the subject to change. "So how did Jamie break her arm?" I asked to bring up the subject of Jake again.

"She was crying over a toy and he asked her to go to her room, so he could hear the game. She began crying louder and he got up to walk her to her room. She was fighting him and when they got to the top of the stairs she twisted away and fell."

I looked out into the forest as I tried to get the image out of my head. Bella added more to plunge the knife in my heart. "It was the potato head, she loved that toy and Jake's dog chewed up a pair of the eyes."

I had the urge to run to the store this instant and buy her a new one. But I resisted and asked, "You let her wear the charm?"

"No, she tries to constantly, but I make her take it off."

I laughed and looked over at Bella with just my eyes and said, "She has it on right now."

"Damn it," she said angrily. "She is convinced it came from her father."

"It did," I said just above a whisper and Bella looked at me in surprise. So I laid it all out there. "I'll be her father, Bella. Even if you don't want me I will be there for her and protect her."

"Protect her from what?" she asked.

"Protect her future. I have something to give you. It's Jamie's, to make sure she can go to college," I said.

"Are you working at the docks again?" she teased but noticed my serious face and got a bit concerned.

I watched her reaction closely and said the name, "Riley Biers."

She jumped up and I reached out and grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the blanket. She looked away from me and I held her chin and forced her to look at me. "Don't run from me," I demanded. We were not kids anymore and we were going to have this discussion if I had to tie her down to have it.

"Were you checking into my life?" she asked in anger.

"No, I actually had the guy in my house, sharing a beer," I told her.

"And the subject of the stupid girl he knocked up just happened to work into the conversation?"

I smiled at little because that was exactly what happened. I didn't tell her that and instead told her something else. "I made him write a check for Jamie. The money is hers, for her future. She has fifty thousand dollars."

Bella laughed and then looked at me in shock. "You're kidding?"

"No, I'm not. I have the bank draft at home. If you want to invest it my father's broker can meet with you."

"Fifty thousand dollars?" she asked again.

"Yes, fifty thousand."

"How, Riley doesn't have that kind of money?" she asked still not believing it was possible.

"His father does, and I threatened to go to the press."

"Will he come after me?" she asked and I could tell the fear was settling in.

"No, he won't and Jamie is free, too. She shouldn't know her father paid to be rid of her. Let her think I'm her father, Bella."

"Your parentage isn't something you lie about. She deserves to know where she came from," Bella said and I shook my head adamantly.

"She deserved to know she is loved. I would love her as my own, Bella." I didn't want Jamie to ever find out about the Biers family and how they viewed her as a liability. A child doesn't need to hear those awful things adults come up with. Bella came to Forks every summer so it would be easy to let people think Jamie was really mine.

"This doesn't have to be decided right now," she finally said and took a deep breath.

I groaned with frustration and wanted everything decided right now. I wasn't here to see what would happen; I was resolute in making Bella and Jamie mine. I looked at her and said, "Bella Swan, do you love me?"

She looked very sad and shook her head, "Of course I love you, but I'm Bella Black now." The words stung but I didn't let her see a reaction.

"I plan on changing that," I said with confidence. "I'm here for the summer, but I want you to know I will not leave here without you and Jamie. If you won't come with me, I'm staying right here."

She smiled and looked at the blanket before raising her eyebrows and saying, "So….not here?"

"No….maybe….do you have any condoms?"

She laughed and stood to pull me to my feet. "I have to get my truck from Newton's and pick up Jamie."

We walked back to the car and after putting the blanket back into the trunk I pulled her back into my arms. We kissed softly and then passionately until we were both breathing loudly. I didn't want to wait too long to have her, so I began planning the perfect date as I held her in my arms.

She didn't say anything to my declarations of taking her with me or remaining, and I knew Bella well enough to know it meant she was considering it. I was so filled with hope and joy. My life with the only woman I loved enough to change for, was becoming a reality.

We finally pulled apart long enough to get in the car and drive to her truck. I followed behind her as she drove to my house. We walked through the door holding hands and Jamie smiled at us before running to Bella for a hug.

"Can I take you both to dinner?" I asked Bella.

"Yes, mom, please?" Jamie begged. "The Orbit is new and he hasn't eaten there before."

"How do you know?" Bella said to tease her daughter who was using the newest restaurant in Forks as an excuse to go out for dinner.

Jamie turned to look at me and asked, "Have you eaten at the Orbit, dad?"

It fell from her mouth so naturally that at first I didn't realize what she had said, but Bella did. Her face looked shocked and I smiled at the little girl and said, "No, I haven't."


	7. Chapter 7

19

Bella agreed to dinner if I allowed her to go home and freshen up. Jamie was so happy for the family outing she gave me a tight hug. I walked them to Bella's truck and stood in the driveway smiling as they drove away. I was going to pick them up in an hour, forgetting Chief Swan would most likely be there.

I headed back inside and my mom walked over to hug me. "You look so happy, Edward."

"God, I feel like I'm floating," I said honestly. "I'm taking them to dinner, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, Jamie took a nap while you were gone, I'm sure she'll be up all night and full of energy."

"I want to take Bella on a special date soon, could you watch Jamie overnight if Charlie can't?" I asked and my mother smiled and nodded.

"You should stop by Jasper's too. He's on the outskirts of town now," she informed me and I wondered if he bought some old house to fix up or if he was taking care of his mother and they both moved. I went to my room and unpacked my bags, so I would feel more settled. I showered and headed out to pick up my girls.

Charlie opened the door and instead of the pissed glare I expected he extended his hand and welcomed me back. Jamie came running down the stairs with a photo album and held it up for me. "Do you want to see this, dad?"

Charlie's eyes darted to mine and I tried to look away and pretend I didn't hear her pronouncement. I took the album and walked over to sit on the couch. She climbed up next to me and rested her head on my arm.

I opened the book and smiled at the sight of the familiar toddler I remembered. Her cheeks were chubby and she wore a smile in every picture. I forced myself not to respond to the pictures of Jake but Jamie said softly, "I hated him."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I said and she wrapped her arms around my arm.

She looked more and more like Bella as she grew taller and thinner. I could tell by the photo's she had lost most of her baby fat and was a lanky, thin girl. "Do you like to run?" I asked already hearing her declare she was fast to my mother.

"Yeah, I run with my mom sometimes," she beamed as Bella came down the stairs.

"Although lately she gets bored after just half a mile," Bella teased.

"I hate going round and round the track, it gets too boring," Jamie complained.

I stood and gave Bella a quick kiss, not wanting to make Jamie feel possessive of her mother, but she watched with a smile on her face. "Are you ready?" I asked.

When we walked to the car Jamie took my hand and I smiled down at her, before opening the back door for her to climb inside. I let her give me directions to the Orbit and pretended to need her recommendations off of the menu. Jamie talked excitedly and Bella remained quiet for most of the evening as she smiled at me.

Jamie only ate part of her dinner and when I asked her about it she rubbed her stomach and said she was too full. I knew her excitement was most likely the culprit. I looked at Bella and asked, "How was your burger?"

"Great, I don't know why, but it just tasted better tonight for some reason," she said with a wide smile and I felt my dick respond.

I reached out for her hand and held it tightly. "I think my food is going to taste better from here on out," I said and she nodded in agreement. "How long have you worked at Newton's?"

"Since the divorce," she said. "It was just easier."

"I heard Charlie fired him," I said and glanced at Jamie who had laid her head on the table.

"No, that isn't true; he chose to go back to the La Push department."

"My mom said Jasper lives somewhere else," I said and her eyes got excited.

"You are going to love this. He is rich now," she announced and I became terrified he was really a drug dealer and had lied to me years ago. "He opened this business where he restores old ships and sells them at a great price. Russian fishermen have purchased from him. He has a huge business in Port Angeles and I bet he gets engaged to Alice this summer. She lives in Seattle now."

"What about Rose and Emmett, are they still together?"

"Oh, off and on, they fight constantly, but can't seem to stay away from each other."

I laughed knowing Rose's stubborn nature and Emmett's oblivious nature was surely a volatile mixture. But I knew he must love her, just as I loved Bella, and couldn't stay away. We finished eating and Jamie was drifting off so I put a bit of ice cream on her nose. She opened her eyes and laughed so I handed her my cone.

"Do you want to run by Jasper's?" I asked and we both looked at Jamie.

"I don't care, I just like being with dad," she said and Bella gave me a look that said we were going to have to address the situation soon.

Bella gave me directions and we headed out of town. I pulled off a side road and down a long driveway before coming to a sprawling house with a security gate. I chuckled at the thought anyone in Forks needed a privacy gate, unless they were a drug dealer.

I pushed the bell and waited for Jasper to answer the intercom. "Yeah," he said and I smiled at the sound of his voice.

"Open the gate you drugged up prick," I said and regretted saying it in front of Jamie who gasped from the back seat.

"Is this fucking Cullen?" he responded and I prayed the gate opened soon.

"Let me in," I said back and the gate began to open.

I pulled in front of the house just as Jasper came running out the door. He looked great, filled out like a man and no longer a skinny teen. I grabbed him and we hugged in a way we never would have dared years ago for fear of being called pussys.

"Why did you come back to Forks, I almost had your mother convinced to run away with me?" he asked and I believed it was something Jasper would actually do if my mother would agree.

I looked up at his house and said, "You must clean a lot of holds, or sell a shit load of pot."

"I was always the smartest of the group. You wasted your time in college, you idiot. Come inside. Bella, get your ass out of the car," Jasper said and motioned for us to come in.

Jamie took my hand and stayed very close to me as we entered the house of someone she didn't know. I wondered if it was her age, or if her experiences with Jake made her wary. I could tell with one glance Jasper did not decorate the house, but Alice did. It was frilly and had deep, rich colors. If Jasper decorated it would be with old album covers and an eclectic variety of musical instruments.

"Is she here?" I asked.

"No, she's coming Friday," he answered knowing exactly who I was talking about. "She'll shit when she sees you. For some reason she really missed you."

"Yeah, I was doing her on the side, she must be dying for an orgasm," I said to tease him and then remembered Jamie who was holding onto me. I glanced at Bella and said, "Sorry, I'll get better."

"Come with me tomorrow and let me show you around my plant. It isn't big, but it is unique so they come to me or pay ten times the money to someone else."

"Great, I would love to see it," I said and Jamie looked up and asked, "Can I come?"

"Sure honey, it might get boring," I said and she shook her head back and forth. I looked at Bella and asked, "Can she come with me tomorrow?"

"Edward, you don't have…"

"I want her to come," I added and Bella smiled at Jamie and nodded her approval. I looked down to see her beaming up at me. "It's you and me tomorrow, kiddo." I could feel her hand tighten in mine and I reached down to pick her up. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she laid her head on my shoulder as Jasper gave me a tour of the house.

I was flying with the feeling of having a family. I wanted to drag Bella to the justice and marry her this moment. I caught her watching me and noticed the slight smile on her face. We came back to the front of the house and I told Jasper I needed to get Bella and Jamie home and would meet up with him the next morning.

We got in the car and drove to Charlie's house. "Jamie, can I speak to your mom about something, honey?"

"Okay," she said and opened her door.

"I'll pick you up before eight, so get a lot of rest tonight," I said and she smiled sadly. "Hey," I called to her and she looked at me. "Can I have a kiss?"

Her face lit up and she got back into the car and came up behind me to wrap her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "I love you, dad," she said as she got back out of the car.

"I love you too, princess."

I was waiting for Bella to give me hell, but she turned and watched Jamie walk into the house and close the door. "I've never seen her like this," she said softly.

I picked up Bella's hand and kissed it over and over again until she removed her seatbelt and scooted closer to me. I put my hand on the back of her head and kissed her as my heart swelled. She finally pulled back and said, "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Can Jamie stay the night with my mom or Charlie tomorrow? I want to take you on a romantic date and spend the night together."

She kissed me a couple of times and spoke with her heavy lids barely open. "I'll never sleep tonight."

"I'll be taking a very long shower," I said and kissed her again as she moaned.

"I love you," she said against my lips causing me to smile.

"I love you, too," I assured her.

She got out of the car and leaned over to speak to me. "I'm not running from you, so please don't go screw some random girl tonight."

I grabbed my chest in mock pain and she laughed and slammed the door. I watched her walk to the house and when she turned to look back at me I blew her a kiss. I couldn't imagine life being anymore perfect than it was right now.

I drove home and found my parents watching television. I sat with them and my father used the remote to mute the volume. "So are you and Bella together?" he asked.

"Yes, I have a check from Jamie's father. I met him in Chicago and nudged his conscience a bit," I said with a smile and my father had to fight to control his own smile. "He gave her fifty thousand and Bella will most likely need some advice on how to handle the money."

"Sure, I'll give Marcus a call," Carlisle said.

"I'm going to take them to Chicago, so Felix will have to move. He spends most of his time at his woman's place anyway. I'm considering pediatrics, what do you think?"

My father thought for a bit and finally said, "There are many specialties within pediatrics."

"How about pediatric surgery?" I asked and noticed how much his face lit up.

"You would make a great surgeon, son," he smiled.

"I think it is more like, the son of a great surgeon," I corrected him but he waved his hand to dismiss me. "I'm going with Jasper tomorrow to see his business. Jamie's coming with me," I said as I looked at my mom. "Is there anything I need to have on hand to spend the day with a seven year old?"

"Make it fun and watch your language," my mother instructed and I nodded as if it would be a cinch.

I finally made it to bed and began planning out my date with Bella so I was too wound up to sleep. I got into the shower and let my body go crazy with fantasies of her. It didn't take me long to shoot my wad, and I felt my entire body begin to relax.

I got out of the shower and dried my hair before getting back in bed. I was almost asleep when my phone rang. "Yeah," I said with my eyes still shut.

"God, I want you," Bella said softly into the phone and I rolled over onto my back and smiled.

"If you can climb I'll leave my window open," I said.

"You have no idea how close I am to getting in my truck. I would bring a ladder, of course," she teased.

"I want to make it a special night," I said and wondered at that moment why it was so important. I should be willing to have her in a car if it was what it took. It would take very little pleading for me to jump in my car and rush right over.

"Just having you would be special enough," she whispered.

"Do you still sleep with Jamie?" I asked, so I would know what kind of fight I would have on my hands. I wasn't sure if she was whispering because it was late or because Jamie was right next to her.

"No, I'm on the couch," she said. "All alone."

"Oh God, don't tempt me," I said, and pressed my palm against my once again hard cock. Just her voice alone got me hard; I could only imagine what making love to her would be like. She chuckled and then sighed. "What?" I asked her.

"I waited five years, I guess one more night won't kill me," she said and I could tell she was smiling.

"We were so stupid," I said, full of regret.

"I've made a habit of being stupid," she added.

"Bella, everything from this point forward is nothing but happiness for us, I promise. We're a family and I'll take care of you and Jamie forever."

"I believe you, sweetheart. I'm going to go to sleep and dream of loving you," she said.

"I'll see you tomorrow, love. Goodnight."

I hung up and stared at the ceiling. I had been home for only one day and everything was falling into place. Bella was mine, Jamie was mine, and there was nothing anyone could do to take them from me.

20

I pulled up to Charlie's house and Bella stepped out of the house and came to meet me halfway up the walk. She jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around me. I kissed her but she refused to let it die down or stop, her kiss told me she had a very difficult night's sleep.

"If you don't stop," I said between her kisses, "I'll do you right here on the sidewalk."

She laughed and pulled back but kept her legs around my waist. It was so different from the girl who was afraid to have my car in front of her house because of possible gossip. I liked how secure Bella was now, and open with her affection.

I carried her into the house and Jamie laughed when she saw us. "Your mom is just a big baby, isn't she?" I joked.

"You should spank her," Jamie teased and Bella looked at me with raised eyebrows before we both laughed at the innocent comment.

I finally put Bella down and turned to Jamie, "You ready short stack?"

"What's that?" she asked.

"Just a funny name for a kid," I explained. "Have you eaten?"

She nodded and grabbed a small backpack with some toys and coloring books. "Bye mom," she said and I smiled at Bella and added my, "Bye mom."

Bella grabbed my arm before I could walk out the door. "About tonight," she asked quietly. "How should I dress?"

"Nothing would be perfect," I said, and she laughed but waited for a serious response. "Do you want to do a fancy dinner or something in the room?"

"The room, definitely," she said and kissed my cheek.

"I'll see you about six," I said and went out to join Jamie in the car. We drove to Jasper's and followed behind him to Port Angeles. I asked Jamie about school, and her friends, and I tried to make Chicago sound as exciting as possible.

We pulled up to a large warehouse on the docks and Jamie looked disappointed. "I thought there would be boats?"

"There will be, these are boats that need fixed."

We got out and walked inside the huge building and Jamie's eyes got huge. She stared at the large ships hoisted out of the water. "Wow," she said as she stared at the large hulls. "How do those stay in the water?"

I squatted onto my knees and pointed as I spoke. "The shape displaces the water making it even on all sides so the oxygen inside the boat is equal to the pressure outside. If a machine smashed all the metal into a ball it would sink."

"How did it float into here?"

"It didn't float. A support with wheels comes underneath the ship and lifts it out of the water and then it is pulled into here."

Jasper nodded for me to follow him and we went into a huge foundry where he melted iron to make his own repair metal. We stayed by the door since I wouldn't let Jamie get too close. I was so proud of my friend and the hard work it put in to be so successful. We went upstairs to his office and I sat Jamie at a small table and got out her coloring books and crayons while I talked to Jasper.

"All of this is phenomenal, I'm really proud of you, Jasper."

"Thanks, I was scared shitless when I applied for the loan. But it began to feel like monopoly money so I relaxed and decided if I lost I would just play again. When I got the first ship order I worked the metal and I hired a homeless veteran to weld. I got a cot for the back room and he worked for food and board. Now I have 43 employees."

"So, what's the deal with Alice?" I asked.

"She wants to open her own boutique, so she's working in Seattle to learn the ropes. I'm going to propose on July fourth," he said with a smile and it made me smile along with him.

"Alice is a great girl," I said and he corrected me.

"Alice is a great woman."

"Naw, she'll always be the little shit who dumped a tray of food on my head," I laughed.

"Are you going to propose to Bella?" he asked and I put my finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet in front of Jamie. "She's asleep," Jasper said and nodded toward the table.

I looked over and shook my head. "I think she is playing at night instead of going to sleep. I'll tell Bella about it. Can you recommend a romantic place I can take Bella tonight?"

"Yeah, I have a buddy that owns and great cabin not far from here. It is secluded and beautifully decorated, very romantic."

"Perfect, let's call him."

I got everything set up for the night and arranged for food and champagne to be delivered. Candles and rose petals were going to be put out and I gave my credit card number over the phone. I knew it would be perfect and Bella was going to be so happy.

I finally walked over to wake Jamie. I shook her arm and she looked up at me. "Hey sleepy head, are you a vampire who sleeps during the day?"

"No," she said and stretched. "I didn't go to sleep last night because I wrote you a poem."

"You did? Can I read it?"

She nodded and reached for her backpack and handed me a folded piece of paper. I opened it and winked at her before I began to read the thick printing of a child.

_I used to be sad,_

_I didn't have a dad._

_I would pray,_

_Every day._

_He came to me,_

_And now I'm happy._

_I'm not sad,_

_I have a great dad._

I wasn't pretending to be touched; I was honestly choked up and couldn't swallow. I looked at Jamie with wet eyes and said, "This is the best poem I've ever read. May I keep it?"

She nodded and I leaned over to hug her tightly. We said our goodbyes and I told her it would be my honor to take her to her favorite place to eat. She squealed and said, "Pizza Hut."

As we waited for our pizza I smiled at her and asked, "Jamie, why did you hate Jake?"

She frowned and looked down before saying, "He only liked mommy. He didn't like me."

"Jamie, he wanted your mom's attention, but he liked you, it isn't possible to not like you."

"He said I was spoiled and acted like a baby."

"He was jealous, that's all."

"I wanted my real dad," she said and then smiled at me.

I was so grateful she wasn't old enough to ask me questions. I didn't have to look into her eyes and tell her why my ass never came around or why I loved her mother but she wouldn't have me. All she knew was the man she thought was her father finally came to make her happy.

She didn't eat much so we packed up the pizza and headed to my house. When we pulled up my mom was in the garden and Jamie ran over to watch her planting some seeds. I took a moment to text Bella and let her know we were home. She responded and told me she would bring Jamie's pillow and pajamas and come to the house at six.

I took a page from Jamie's book and decided to write Bella a poem. I sat at my father's desk and tried to say what I felt in my heart.

_A single tear isn't noticed,_

_It falls after forging a new path, paving a way for more to follow._

_A broken heart begins with a single rip,_

_Feeling it can never be fixed, like trying to return a fallen tear._

_But, a broken heart still beats,_

_Finding the will to continue its rhythm, giving hope._

_A precarious moment,_

_When hope hangs on the apex, waiting to hear if it can grow._

_Finally, tips over the edge,_

_Giving purpose to all my breaths._

_My tears follow the path happily,_

_Where a single tear once found its beginning._

Jamie came into the office and began rubbing her knee. I folded the paper and put it in my pocket before giving my attention to Jamie. "Did you hurt your knee?" I asked.

"I ran to the house," she said and I wondered if she twisted a muscle or something. I carried her to the kitchen and got her a small baggie of ice and placed it on her knee, making her smile.

I turned around and let her climb onto my back before taking her into the family room and turning on cartoons. "Can I have a banana?" she asked and I laughed and returned to the kitchen to wait on my princess.

I sat down and she ate the banana before laying her head on my lap. I let my head rest against the couch and fell asleep. I woke up when my father walked inside and looked down to see Jamie still watching television. I checked my watch and jumped up to take a shower and get ready for Bella to come over.

Jamie was talking to my dad, telling him all about the ships and how the water pushes the air to make it float, she was close enough. I smiled and headed up the stairs. When I returned Bella was there and Jamie was telling her about our day. Her eyes locked with mine and I felt my stomach drop with excitement. This was really going to happen, and we were finally together.

I walked over and picked up Jamie and asked, "Is your knee better?"

"Yeah," she said with a smile and Bella looked at her and asked, "Was your knee hurting again?"

Jamie looked at me and said proudly, "I have growing pains."

"They better stop; you don't want legs as long as mine, do you?"

"No, I'd be a giant," she laughed.

"Jamie, Edward and I are going somewhere and you get to stay the night with Esme, won't that be fun?" Bella said and Jamie looked over at my mom.

"Can we watch the Hannah Montana movie?" she asked.

"Of course, you take a bath and I'll make popcorn," Esme said and winked at her.

Bella handed her the bag and pillow and they walked off together. "Hey," I called after them. "Can I have a kiss?"

Jamie dropped her stuff and ran to give me a hug and kissed my cheek. "I love you," I said to her and she smiled and said, "I love you too, dad."

She gave Bella a kiss and ran to catch up to Esme. Bella wiped a tear and smiled at me. "Jake was never like this. You are so good to her, Edward."

"I really love her as if she was mine, I consider her mine," I said and pulled Bella into my arms. "I consider you mine, too."

"Let's get out of here so you can make me truly yours," she said and pinched my ass.

I felt like time stood still and I was back in high school rushing off to see Bella. I was giddy and Bella was laughing over any little thing. It was just us and we had the entire night together. She kept trying to guess where I was taking her and I wouldn't give her any hints. I had to hope the GPS would get us there since it was beginning to darken as we moved deeper into the forest.

We pulled in front of a beautiful log cabin and I found the key under the mat and walked inside. It was amazing and Bella gasped loudly as she turned a full circle looking at everything. The food left a tempting aroma and I inhaled deeply.

Bella walked over to look at the foiled pans and smiled. "I love mushroom ravioli and this salad looks delicious."

I picked up a plate and handed it to her. She spooned up her food and walked to the table to wait for me. I sat across from her and reached over to light the candles. I pulled the champagne from the bucket and poured her a glass.

"To the beginning of our forever," I said and she touched her glass to mine and took a drink. "How's Charlie handling the thought of me returning?" I asked her.

"I think he is more than ready for me to move on. He's dating again and I think I cramp his style."

"Why don't you and Jamie move in with me at my parents? She would have her own room…."

"Would I have my own room?" she asked slyly.

"You would be off the couch but no, you would have to share my bed," I smiled.

"Hmmm…I'll have to think about that," she teased.

"I'll do my best to convince you," I said and she blushed a little.

"Are you man enough to answer a question without deflecting," she asked.

"I don't deflect," I said offended.

"You played me like a fiddle years ago, admit it," she protested.

"Okay, I'll answer and not deflect," I promised.

"What happened with the neighbor?"

"Ah shit," I groaned and threw my napkin onto the table. This time I blushed and felt like it happened a week ago instead of years ago.

Bella stared and waited for my answer so I took a deep breath. "As you recall, I don't eat strange food. I had a lot of sex, but nothing out of the ordinary."

"This was out of the ordinary?"

"This was not even on the same planet as ordinary," I said and shook my head.

"Okay, continue," she smiled and leaned her elbows on the table.

"I took her to dinner the night she moved in and she seemed really sweet and very normal. We got back to her place and she brings in a friend."

"A ménage?"

"Yeah, but they wanted to dress me up and tie me up," I said and Bella covered her mouth with her hand and laughed. "One chick treats my dick like a stick shift and the other one acted all sweet and kisses my neck and chest. It hurt like hell, and felt so good at the same time."

"What did you do?" she asked with wide eyes.

"I cried like the pussy I was and ran home," I said honestly and Bella almost feel off the chair in laughter. "It was traumatizing and you're laughing."

She got off her chair and came over to sit on my lap. "I'm sorry, honey. I'll make it all better and you'll forget all about the scary neighbor."

"It might take several hours to wipe it from my psyche," I said and kissed her neck.

"I'll keep at it until your memory is clear," she said and let her head fall back so I had better access.

I let my hand run over her chest and stop on her breast as she sighed loudly. It was incredible to hear her respond to my touch. "Are you done eating?" I asked.

She leaned over and blew out the candle and smiled so I stood and picked her up bridal style and carried her into the bedroom.

I had lost my virginity at the age of fifteen, to seventeen year old Tanya, and had sex with so many girls it would be impossible to name them all, but this was the first time I would be making love to a woman I loved, I had never been happier.

21

I sat Bella on the bed and began lighting the candles when she pulled off her shirt. I didn't like her taking away my fun so I shook my finger at her and she stopped. She looked amazing in the candlelight after I shut off the lights. The flames danced on her white skin and it looked as if she was on fire.

"You are so beautiful," I told her and walked over kneel at her feet. "I wrote something for you."

Her hand reached out for the paper I was holding and she took a deep breath and began to read. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "Jamie is so much like you, Edward. You really are her father."

I couldn't hold out any longer. I had to have her right this instant so I climbed onto the bed and pulled her into my arms. My hands removed her jeans and she laid there in a blue bra and panty set, she was breathtaking. I completely undressed as she watched me and then removed the remnants of her garments.

Her arms reached up for me and I collapsed over her, feeling her nude body lined up with mine. I was delirious in my need, kissing, and moaning, and touching everything I could. She cried out, not in pain but in the fulfillment of our bodies finally connecting. It was heaven and I wanted to remain inside her forever. She squeezed her muscles and I moaned loudly from the sensation on my cock.

She arched her back and my mouth went straight for her nipple which responded to my tongue. She moaned and let her head moved back and forth from the sensations her body was experiencing. Her legs wrapped around me and I moved deeper into her.

"Bella, Oh God, Bella."

She rolled me underneath her and placed her hands on my chest as she stared down at me. I had looked up at so many girls using my body, but never once at a woman who loved me. It was like night and day. Every movement she made was to give me pleasure. She began slow and let it build until she was gasping for air as she pounded on me.

My entire body tightened and I raised my ass off the bed, lifting her as she moved on me with amazing friction. "Edward," she cried out, so I thrust into her hard, causing her head to fall back and her entire body clinched around me. I closed my eyes and held on, not wanting it to end, and let her need build again.

I rolled her to her back and kissed her deeply. My tongue could feel the hotness of her mouth and I let it move deeper. She inhaled sharply and grabbed my face to keep me locked to her. I quickened my pace and pulled her legs up to her chest to go as deeply as I could. She was so wet and I was sliding in and out at a fevered pace until she suddenly tightened her muscles around my cock again. I screamed loudly and my entire body convulsed as I shot hot cum inside her.

Her body experienced an even deeper orgasm and she grabbed the blanket with her fists. I continued my movements as she cried out with total release. It was amazing, and the love we felt for each other was evident in every sound.

Our bodies calmed and I kissed her gently several times. I suddenly realized I didn't wear a condom and looked at Bella in fear. I would love for her to get pregnant with my baby, but I knew her feelings could be very different. "I'm sorry, I didn't stop for a condom," I said.

She smiled and ran her hand down the side of my face. "It's okay, you're not going anywhere without me."

"I love you so much, Bella. I couldn't continue to breathe if you didn't want me," I confessed.

"I will always want you; you are the only man I have ever loved."

I held her silently for a few minutes and when I felt her body shake I looked down to see her laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked her.

"We just had sex," she giggled.

"We've had sex before," I said, "Just not intercourse."

She laughed harder and I scooted away from her a bit. "What is so damn funny?"

"I don't know, I just find what you said during your…you know…is funny."

I searched my memory trying to remember any actual words coming out of my mouth and all I could remember was the explosive ecstasy I felt. "What did I say?"

She lowered her voice to sound like a man and said, "Mine, this is mine."

"So?" I said a little offended.

"Well, in actuality it is mine, but you can use it whenever you want," she teased.

I touched her left breast and asked, "What about this?"

"You can use that, too."

"And this?" I asked and touched her right breast.

"Absolutely."

I placed my finger on her heart and asked, "What about this?"

She smiled and took my finger and kissed the tip, "That's already yours."

I fell asleep with Bella in my arms knowing she would be there in the morning and I wouldn't be crawling to my car with a headache and regret. This was real and this was love. I dreamed of her and woke up with a raging hard on.

She was still asleep and I scooted closer to her body and pulled her ass against me for the most incredible sensation. She stirred and said with a sleepy voice, "Ah, you're really here." I began nibbling on her bare back reveling in the taste of her and making her sigh.

"I love you," I declared against her flesh and she moaned. "I want to marry you," I said and moved to her bare shoulder to offer soft bites.

She rolled over to face me and smiled with sleepy eyes. "Are you making me an offer?" she asked.

It sounded funny, it wasn't an offer, it was my hearts deepest desire and only she could grant it to me. I knew it would be hard for Jamie to relocate to Chicago after living her life in Forks, but I was selfish and wanted them with me as soon as possible.

"I'm making you a promise," I said and watched her eyes grow wet. "I promise to love you and Jamie with my entire heart and soul."

"And you won't cheat on me?" she asked and the weight of my life settled on my shoulders.

I swallowed deeply and let my finger run down her shoulder as I shook my head. "No, Bella, I will never cheat on you."

"Can we marry in August? Jake and I married in July and I don't want to do that," she explained.

"I was thinking June," I said with a smile. I knew it was already June and a wedding took time no matter how small it was, but August sounded so far away and I was terrified of what life could throw at us in that period.

She laughed and finally came up with a compromise. "I'll move in with you now and marry you in August."

"Deal," I said and kissed her passionately.

She wrapped her leg over my hip and moved to speak into my ear. "Did you see the huge bathtub; I've never made love in a tub." I reluctantly let her out of my arms and walked behind her to the tub. We filled it with water and bubbles and Bella got in first.

I stepped over the edge and sat against the rim with my legs extended as she crawled up my body to sit on my rock hard erection. We both let our eyes roll back and moaned loudly. Her body was covered in bubbles and my hands slid across her flesh. It was hard to hold her tightly so I let my hands fall into the water and hold tightly to her thighs.

She locked her arms around my neck and used the leverage to move on me the way she wanted. I held still and let her set the pace and motion. My eyes were closed and she spoke loudly. "Look at me, Edward. I'm going to cum all for you."

My eyes shot open and I watched her mouth take rushed breaths. She kept my gaze and her body began to clench around me as goose bumps formed on her arms. She screamed as her head fell back and my body erupted at the sight.

I used to wonder if it would be hard to sleep with only one woman for the rest of my life. As a teen I found the entire concept repulsive, but watching Bella made me want only her in my arms forever. Just the thought of another woman was now repulsive.

We moved to the shower to clean off for the day and Bella pulled her long hair into a ponytail. Jamie looked so much like her and I was finding myself wishing she was here. I didn't feel complete without both of them next to me.

It took us half an hour to clean up the candles, petals, and food and we left to drive back to Forks. Since Bella had the day off I wanted to get as much of her stuffed moved as possible. We were both starving but decided to pick up Jamie to go eat with us.

The house was quiet when we walked in and my father met us in the hallway. "Bella, Jamie has a slight fever. She's in her bed and I'm keeping a watch on her."

We all headed to the room Jamie was using and she smiled when she saw us and jumped up from the bed. Bella hugged her tightly and felt her head. "Are you sick, honey?"

"I don't feel sick," she said.

"I'll be the judge of that, since I am a medical student," I teased and brought Jamie back to the bed. "Let me see, does this hurt?" I asked as I wiggled her toes.

"No," she laughed.

"What about this darn knee, is it still growing?" I asked and bent her knee.

"No," she replied.

"Okay, this tummy, is it…."

"Ouch," she cried out as I pressed gently on her abdomen and she doubled over.

I looked at her face to see if she was kidding and pulled her legs back down so I could really examine her. I glanced at my father and he looked very serious.

"Jamie, I'm not going to push hard, but you tell me if it hurts. Give me a number between one and five, one means just a bit and five means it hurts so bad you want to cry."

She nodded and looked terrified so I rubbed my hands over her stomach for a minute to calm her. I pressed just under her ribs and she screamed out, "Five."

"Do you feel like you need to throw up?" I asked and she shook her head back and forth. "What did you eat today?"

"A banana," she said and I glanced at Bella.

"Has her eating changed in recent weeks?"

"She doesn't eat nearly as much as she used to, she complains about being full," Bella said with a terrified look on her face.

"I've noticed her sleeping a lot during the day, does she stay up late?"

"No," Bella said softly. "She has been falling asleep earlier and earlier and I have to wake her in the mornings."

"When did her knee start hurting her?" I asked and tried to remain calm.

"About three weeks ago, why?" Bella asked.

I looked over and my father and asked something, mentally begging him to tell me I was full of shit and she was a growing girl. "A CBC and scan?"

"I think it would be wise," he replied and left to get his bag.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked with a shaky voice. She was holding my arm so tightly it actually hurt. I peeled her fingers off of me and smiled at Jamie.

"I'm afraid you might have my long legs after all," I teased and she smiled at me. "Do you want the television on?" I asked and walked over to get the remote. My hands were shaking and I tried to steady them.

Jamie took it and I asked if she wanted a Popsicle before pulling Bella from the room. We went into my father's office and he spoke to Bella. "I can do a blood draw here if you like, or you can set her up an appointment with your pediatrician."

"Wait, why, what's wrong with her, Edward?" Bella asked.

"We don't know if anything is wrong, but she has an enlarged spleen, sore joints, fatigue, loss of appetite and a fever. Those are symptoms of Leukemia," I told her and watched her face drain of blood.

Bella sat in a chair and shook her head as she tried to think. I knelt at her side and pulled her face to look at mine. "Bella, it could be nothing. We only want to be extra cautious," I told her, but in my gut I knew something was wrong. When I looked at the photo album it was obvious how much thinner Jamie was now, and seven year olds don't fall asleep at a table when coloring.

"Edward, you'll need to hold her," Carlisle said, and I wasn't sure if I could hear her cry and not do everything in my power to stop it.

"Bella, do you want my dad to do the blood draw?" I asked and she nodded silently.

He looked at Bella and said softly, "I'll get Esme." I waited for my mother to enter the room and she pulled Bella into her arms. I walked stoically with my father into Jamie's room and she looked up and smiled at me.

I sat on her bed and said, "Sweetheart, we want you to get better, so we need to look at your blood to see why you're sick." I extended my arm and pointed to my vein. "Everyone has veins which are full of blood, so we'll take about this much," I held up my fingers, "and look at it under a microscope. My dad is a doctor and he'll put a small needle in your vein and draw out some blood."

"Does it hurt?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Have you ever had a shot?" I asked, and tears formed as she nodded. "It is like a shot," I told her and wiped her tears with my thumbs.

Her eyes rose to my father and she began to cry loudly. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her head. "Jamie," I said into her ear, "Daddy will hold you and I won't let anything happen to you. I love you so much and we need to know how sick you are. Can you be brave for me?"

"I'm scared," she cried and my heart clinched.

"You never need to be scared when I'm holding you. Put out your arm and help daddy find a way to make you better," I pleaded.

Her arm slowly extended and my dad worked quickly. I held her face to my chest so she couldn't see. When the needle entered her arm she tensed and screamed, "Daddy, it hurts." Her words spoke right to my heart, it hurt, it hurt like hell to know she was feeling pain and I was allowing it.

"It's almost over, baby, you are such a brave girl," I assured her and I held her to me.

"We're done," my dad said and she turned her head to look at the cotton ball on her arm.

"Where's my blood?" she asked through sniffles and Carlisle held up the vials making her bury her face in my chest again.

"We're going to go to the hospital later and let them take a picture of your body, it doesn't hurt, it is just like a camera picture, okay?" I asked and she nodded and looked back at her arm. "You rest and I'll send mommy in to be with you."

I left the room as quickly as possible so she wouldn't see my tears.


	8. Chapter 8

Two weeks later we sat across from the doctor as Bella clung to me for strength. Jamie had been admitted for a lumbar puncture and we were here for the official diagnosis. I had tried to stay positive but my medical training told me what my heart wouldn't accept.

"Acute Myeloid Leukemia, M five," the doctor said and my stomach dropped.

"What's the blast percentage?"

"Seventy."

"Oh God," I whispered and Bella burst into tears. I should have been more careful with my reaction but I knew this was bad and I couldn't help myself. "Are you going to try anthracyclines?" I asked and worried about a child so young having such harsh chemotherapy.

"We'll start with chemotherapy, but we need to consider a bone marrow transplant. We'll need to check you both as donors and find the closest match."

It was right there in my face, I could love Jamie as my own, I could take care of her by providing for her needs, but she wasn't from my body and I wouldn't be able to save her. My tears fell along with Bella's and I felt helpless.

The doctor left to give us some time to talk and Bella sobbed into my shirt. "She's just a little girl, why does this awful place have to become her life. It isn't fair," she cried.

I knew I had to hold Bella together for Jamie's sake, so I grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at me. "Stop this right now, Bella. We are going to do whatever it takes for Jamie, if this is her life than it becomes ours, too. We are going to fight like hell to save her, and feeling sorry for ourselves will not happen until she is cured."

She looked into my eyes, searching for…something. Her head finally nodded in agreement and she took a deep breath and wiped her face. "Okay, what do we do next?"

"We need to have anyone related to Jamie take a donor test. We'll find a match and get her into remission. That is our first step," I said.

"Edward, you know the Biers won't help," she said as more tears fell.

"Are you kidding me? A politician gets to save a child, they'll be all over this," I said and smiled, praying I was right.

We headed to Jamie's room and I called my father. He was in surgery so I left him a message and called my mom. I expected her to be strong and encourage me, but she sobbed loudly through the phone and I was beginning to feel the weight of holding everyone together.

I leaned my arm on the wall and buried my head as I tried to find the last bit of inner strength I had. It wasn't necessary, since Emmett walked in and pulled me to his massive chest. I needed my friend more than I ever needed him in my life, and he was the one I had betrayed. I felt so alone but Emmett reminded me I had people I could lean on. He patted my back with a firm hand and I pulled back to wipe my tears.

"Thanks," I said.

"What do you need, we are all here to help," he assured me.

"Okay, let me think, I need someone to go over to Newton's and make sure Bella keeps her job, she needs the insurance for Jamie. I need a place to set up donor testing, get the entire town to come out and see if there's a match if Bella and Charlie don't. We will need a web page set up to keep people updated without coming to the hospital. She can't get sick, even a cold would be dangerous. See if Rose or Alice will pack a bag for Bella, they'll know what she needs."

"Right, I'll take care of it," he said and I hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad you came, Em, I really needed you," I admitted. He nodded and turned to walk down the hallway.

I walked into Jamie's room and Bella was curled up on the bed holding her as they both cried. I pulled a chair to the bedside and took hold of Jamie's hand. She looked at me with red swollen eyes and asked, "Am I going to die?"

"No, baby," I said and tried to smile. "I won't allow it."

She smiled and tightened her hand in mine. I looked at Bella and could see the strain and worry on her face. I reached for her hand too and held them both together. "Listen, Jamie, me and mommy need to go take a test. It is just a swab of our mouth, like a Q-tip, and then we'll come right back. Is there anything we can bring you?"

"Can I have my stuffed bunny?" she asked and I smiled and kissed her forehead.

Bella climbed out of the bed and when we walked from the room she leaned against me so I could help her walk. "Edward, I'm twenty three and my daughter is dying, how does this happen?"

"If you're asking me if you somehow caused this, the answer is no. If illnesses were handed out as punishments, it would be me lying in that bed. I wish to God it was me, but we have to deal with what we have."

We headed to the lab and had a cheek swab and also a blood test. Bella went back to sit with Jamie while I waited for Charlie. I knew I wouldn't be a match and siblings were Jamie's best hope, but I was willing to be tested on the off chance I happened to be a match.

Charlie came in looked reserved and dower. He didn't speak much and nodded without looking at me as I explained the situation. He was holding in his emotions and I wondered just how long he would be able to do it.

By the time I got back to Jamie's room my mother was there, loaded down with presents for her. She brought her beautiful pink pajamas and a box of craft items to keep Jamie busy. A new stuffed cat was held in Jamie's arms and the room was filled with brightly colored Gerber Daisies.

The mood was brighter and when my father walked in we were all actually smiling. Jamie seemed perfectly healthy and played with her new things. When she began to tire, we all left to eat and freshen up. Bella had a bag waiting for her at the nurse's desk and she took it eagerly.

We got into the elevator and when we stopped Dr. Dunn was standing by the doors. "You are just who I was coming to see," he said and led us to an alcove by the elevators. "I'm going to start Jamie on a very aggressive protocol as soon as possible. I heard from the lab and neither one of you are a match, but Mrs. Cullen," he said and neither one of us corrected him. "Your blood test came back positive for pregnancy."

We both stood there without moving or saying anything. We simply stared at the doctor as if we didn't understand English. "It is possible the baby could be a match," he said.

"Um…you should know, I'm not Jamie's biological father," I explained and the doctor blew out a deep breath.

"Well, that lessens the chance for a sibling match. Has the biological father been tested?"

Bella shook her head and walked off. It should have been a moment of celebration for us, but we were expecting a baby just as our world was crashing in on us. I ran to catch up to her and she had tears streaming down her face. "I only get one. I have to give up my daughter for this baby, I don't get them both."

"We're not giving up anything, Bella. We are giving Jamie a brother or a sister, this is a good thing," I said and felt a bit of rejoicing in my heart.

"Riley won't help her. Her life is going to depend on him and he will do just what he's always done, turn his back on her."

"He's going to help or he's going to watch his life go down the toilet. I'll take care of Riley," I promised her.

We drove home and picked up food on the way. Bella picked at her dinner and I had to remind her to eat for our baby. She was deep in thought and I tapped her leg with my foot to get her attention.

"What does this do to our plans?" she asked. "I can't leave my job."

"Bella, I am not leaving here with Jamie sick…"

"You are not giving up medical school," Bella said angrily.

I had been holding onto my emotions with a thin thread and I exploded and threw my drink across the room. Bella screamed and looked at me with fear. "Don't do this to me again, Bella. You and Jamie mean everything to me, everything," I screamed loudly. "Do you really think I could just leave with things like this, do you think that little of me?"

"So what are you going to do?" she asked.

"I have two years of medical school, I could get on as a surgical tech and when Jamie is better I'll finish school. I'll take care of my family, I'm not eighteen anymore, I'm a twenty-four year old man."

"Edward, I'm so scared," she said and I rushed over to hold her. We cried together on the kitchen floor as we let ourselves imagine the worst. I had to take control and make my family truly mine. Bella and I needed to get married and I needed to get a job, but first we had to get Jamie home.

She received her first round a chemo and remained in the hospital to have a port put in her chest. Bella had to go to work and I promised not to leave Jamie's side all day. She was groggy from the anesthesia and kept whimpering in her sleep. I found if I placed her between my legs with her back against my chest she calmed and remained asleep.

I sat that way for hours as I stared at the white wall in front of me. Nurses offered me food and water but I only wanted my daughter to be comfortable. I knew the chemo would make her tired and I was glad she could sleep through the soreness of the surgery site. But, I also knew the side effects coming for her as she continued this journey.

Bella showed up with a bag full of amazing food from Rosalie. Again, the memories of how I treated her were front and center in my mind. If someone would have found me in high school and warned me one of the most precious things in my life would be taken from me, and my friends would keep me whole, I would have treated them so much better.

"Edward, you need to rest," Bella said and ran her hands through my hair.

"Mommy?" Jamie called out when she heard Bella's voice.

"I'm here baby. I brought your bunny," Bella said and placed it in the girl's arms. "I'm so sleepy," Jamie said and closed her eyes again.

"You just rest, sweetheart," I said and she turned her head up to look at me.

She gave me a very weak smile and said, "I thought you were the bed."

"Are you calling me soft and pudgy?" I teased and she giggled just a little.

Bella smiled and leaned over to talk softly to Jamie, "Honey, you better let daddy up to pee, or you'll have a water bed."

Jamie kept her eyes closed but furrowed her brow and said, "Gross."

Bella pulled her forward while I worked my way out from behind her and almost sprinted to the bathroom. When I came out Bella had a chair set up with a tray table so I could eat some of the food Rose sent. It was exactly what I needed to refresh my soul.

I knew something was up when Bella sat next to me and waited for Jamie to go back to sleep before speaking. She turned to face me and spoke softly. "Lauren came into the store today. She wants you to call her." I chuckled and shook my head. If she thought I was inviting her into my car she would be waiting a long, long time. "She was very persistent and told me she really needed to talk to you."

"I promise you, I'm not going to call her," I said and looked into Bella's eyes as I said it.

"I think you should, I don't think it has anything to do with the past, we were talking about Jamie when she said she needed to talk to you."

"Bella, she is the last person I want to talk with, God, I feel like I'm a totally different person from when I knew her," I said and continued eating.

Bella opened her mouth to speak but the doctor walked into the room and we both turned our attention to him. He looked at Jamie in the bed and asked, "Any nausea or vomiting?"

"No, she slept all afternoon."

"Good," he said, "I'll give you some medication in case and let her go home. She'll have chemo once a week for six weeks and then two off before the next round. Have you talked to her about hair loss?"

"No," Bella said and I looked over at Jamie's gorgeous thick hair.

"It might be easier if she willingly cuts it off, but it is up to her if she wants a wig."

We both nodded. "You're living with Carlisle right?" he asked.

"Yes, for now," I answered.

"Good, he'll know what to look for. Keep her hydrated and her nutrition is important, so do whatever you need to do to keep her eating. Her mouth will be sore so encourage her to have shakes or anything with calories."

"When do you want to do the transplant?" Bella asked.

"I'm thinking around Christmas, but let's wait and see how she responds to chemo. Are all the relatives being tested?" he asked.

"I'm working on it," I said quickly.

"Good, I'll start the paperwork so you can take her home." I stood and walked out the door with him, acting as if I wanted to talk further but I really had a phone call to make. I got the number to the mayor's campaign office and walked into the waiting area to dial.

"May I speak to Riley Biers," I said to the woman who answered.

"Who's calling?" she asked.

I thought quickly, I knew if I gave my real name he might refuse the call. "Tell him it is Jane's brother," I said and hoped like hell she had a brother.

It was on a few seconds when he got on the line, "Hey, Alec, what's up."

My blood turned cold just hearing his voice. "Riley, you need to go get your mouth swabbed to see if you're a donor match for your daughter."

"What… who is this?"

"It is for your daughter, you fucker, you need to go see a doctor to save her life," I said angrily.

I could hear him get up and shut a door. "You said if I gave her the money I was done," he said softly.

"The money was for her college, she needs your bone marrow to live," I clarified.

"Shit, doesn't that really hurt?" he said, and I was glad I was two thousand miles away because I would have decked him.

"You can be a pussy on your own time, the test is just a mouth swab and if you don't match you can go fuck yourself and I'll never bother you again," I noticed some people walking past gave me a reproving look and I turned my back to them.

"Let me talk to my dad," he said, and I pinched the bridge of my nose to remain calm.

"You have one week to comply, and then I'm coming to take the sample from you myself," I said and hung up.

That one phone call set things in motion to possibly save Jamie and ruin her life at the same time.

23

Jamie had very little side effects from her first chemo, but that was to be expected. I knew it would not remain that way and her tiny body had a big fight on its hands. Bella was so hopeful it wouldn't be too bad and I let her believe it, going to work was easier for her if she knew Jamie was happy and playful while she was gone.

I began looking for a job and was offered a position with a blood bank in Port Angeles. It didn't pay too great, but it was something. I wouldn't start for a few weeks and I worried about Jamie being sick and placing that burden on my mother.

My mom offered to watch Jamie so Bella and I could finally have a date with our friends. Rose and Emmett were both home for the summer and Alice was spending a few days at Jasper's. We drove to Jasper's house and I felt a bit embarrassed by the attention they lavished on us.

Alice ran at me and jumped into my arms. "You've been home for almost a month and I haven't seen you once."

"I'm sorry, I really am," I told her and she kissed my face before jumping down and grabbing Bella for a hug.

We were both handed a beer and Bella held it in her hand but never drank from it. I downed mine quickly, wanting to have one night where I could forget about all the drama. I traded Bella's bottle for mine and tried to relax. We sat on Jasper's deck as he grilled some steaks.

"Hey, Lauren said for you to call her, she was seriously losing her shit about it. She said if you don't call she's coming to your house," Rose informed me and I groaned. "She misses your impressive dick," she laughed.

"Stop it," I said to Rose and refused to look at Bella. I felt I was a different man and I didn't want people talking as if I was the old Edward.

"You told me his dick was nothing great," Emmett said, and everyone laughed while I flipped him off.

I had no idea what Lauren wanted and I didn't plan on talking to her at all. I thought it must be something trite like a five year class reunion or something. I sat back and took Bella's hand in mine so she would know she was the only woman on my mind.

She smiled at me and then turned to Rose. "Thank you so much for making the website for Jamie. It is really cute and it keeps us from being bombarded by phone calls."

"I added a link today telling them how to be tested as a donor. I hope people step up and realize it is a gift of life. Jamie's story might save other people, too," Rose said proudly. "We were all tested."

"Thank you so much. Edward got a job at the blood bank in Port Angeles, maybe he can educate people, too," Bella added.

Jasper turned to look at me and shook his head, "Bullshit, if you are looking for a job I'll take you. I need someone with your skill set."

"What skill set do I have?" I asked.

"You've done the shit work on a boat and know how to talk with fishermen. I need someone who can talk with the vendors and the clients…."

"Yeah, someone who can fuck over people without a conscience," Rose laughed, and I turned to look at her. I was going to say something back, a snide remark or a joke about her being easy, but something in her eyes kept me from doing it.

I knew it wasn't jokes she was making. I had hurt her over the years, and she was trying to tell me about it. I finally stood and held my hand out for hers. She reached out hesitantly and I pulled her to her feet and led her into the house.

"Rose, I want you to know I realize how badly I treated you, but you also need to realize I am not friends with one single woman I've screwed except you. I think you are so amazing that I wasn't willing to give you up totally. I know Emmett loves you and you both need to stop this cat and mouse shit and commit to each other."

"He cheated on me," she said with tears.

"Because he never felt worthy of you, and your own father doesn't like him. He is just as insecure as you, but together you would be a formable pair. Tell him how you feel and make a real relationship."

She reached over and put her arms around me so I pulled her into against my chest and hugged her tightly. Everything seemed so senseless after Jamie became sick and I hoped my friends would reach out for the happiness they wanted in life and claim it for their own.

We returned to the deck and Rose walked over to sit on Emmett's lap. He looked at her with nothing but love and kissed her cheek softly. Bella was sitting with her head on her hand so I leaned closer to look into her eyes, "Are you okay?" I asked.

"I feel really sick," she whispered.

I reached over to check her forehead with my hand and she pushed it away. "It's to be expected," she said and I realized it was pregnancy sickness. "Are you ready to say anything?" she asked and I smiled and nodded my head.

Bella sat back up and put her arm around me before talking with a smile on her face. "I used to believe Edward was sterile, I mean come on, who sleeps around as much as he did and not end up with a paternity suit. But, I am happy to say he's not and we are expecting a baby."

Everyone began congratulating us and I felt a bit weird that I was allowing Bella to sit next to me pregnant without a ring on her finger. It was never the scenario I imagined. I glanced around the deck and then looked at Bella. "We could marry right here," I said.

"Edward, this weekend is July," she said and I nodded. I really didn't care if she married Jake in July, but it mattered to Bella so I would let her have her way on this one.

"Okay, tomorrow," I offered.

"It isn't enough time," she said.

Alice jumped into the conversation, "I can throw stuff together in one day."

Rose laughed and knew firsthand how efficient Alice could be when she put her mind to something. She was a pro at throwing parties; it was a specialty of hers.

"Bella, let's do it before it gets too hard for Jamie to be out. She would love to be in the wedding with her long hair," I added, knowing I wasn't playing fair.

"Okay," she finally relented. "The only guest will be my dad, your parents and these guys," she said waving her hand at everyone. "Nothing big, like flowers and cake."

I could tell by the look on Alice's face she would not be contained and Bella would get a much bigger wedding than she imagined. Jasper brought the steaks to the table and sat next to me in order to get back to the job offer. I listened to his thoughts and he was being way to generous.

"Jasper, you know my situation. I can't start a new job in a new field while my focus is on Jamie. It isn't fair to you."

"Edward, you're my friend, it isn't your focus I want, it is my way of helping until you get back in school, okay?"

I was overcome with emotion at how great my friends were and how little I appreciated them. I wasn't going to make that mistake again. I smiled at Jasper and nodded with tear filled eyes. "You can do my mom," I said.

He laughed loudly, letting his head fall back in genuine amusement at my statement. "I already have," he said and I almost choked on my beer before the whole table broke into laughter.

We enjoyed the evening but I could tell Bella was worn out so I decided to take her home. We planned for the impromptu wedding the following night and all Bella and I had to do was come up with something to wear; everything else was going to be handled by our best friends. We drove home happy and contented.

I pulled into the drive way and saw an unfamiliar vehicle. As I got closer I saw Lauren standing by the door. "Shit," I said and Bella looked over to see what I was talking about. "Lauren is the last person I want to deal with tonight."

"Just see what she wants, if it is anything on your body call me out and I'll take care of her," Bella said with a serious tone and got out of the car and headed into the kitchen.

I waited and Lauren came over and sat in the seat Bella just vacated. "Didn't anyone tell you I needed to see you?"

"Yeah, I was going to call tomorrow," I lied out of habit when talking to Lauren.

"I heard about Bella's daughter," she started. "I think I could be a good resource for you. I had leukemia as a child."

Her words sent me reeling. I treated her so badly, and some prick could be out there waiting to treat Jamie the same way. I looked at her, truly seeing her for the first time. She was smaller than I remembered, more fragile than I had ever noticed. I shook my head and said, "Sorry doesn't begin to say how I feel."

"I'm not looking for your sympathy, Edward. I just wanted to tell you my sister was conceived to be a donor. Now they can genetically enhance the fetus to be a definite donor. If you can get some sperm from Jamie's father, Bella could have another baby that could save Jamie."

Her words were meant to be comforting and offer hope, but it only served to show me how stupid I had been yet again. I let my head drop so she didn't see what a useless man I was. "She can't," I said quietly.

"Is he dead?"

"No, Bella's pregnant already with my baby."

The car was totally silent and we both stared into the darkness. She finally said the words I couldn't. "Maybe she could get an abortion and have another baby."

"Yeah, maybe," I said in only a whisper and then got out of the car. Lauren jumped out and walked over to stand in front of me.

"I did," she said with tears.

"You did what?" I asked.

"I got an abortion. I aborted your baby," she said to finally get even with me for everything I had done in my life.

I didn't know if it was her words or the compilation of everything I had been dealing with, but whatever it was I buckled and had to grab onto the car to keep myself from falling. I was trying to remember back to see if there was a time she tried to tell me something and couldn't. I rarely had actual intercourse with her and finally recalled a summer when she wouldn't speak to me. I looked at her face and the fell to my knees and vomited all over the tire of my car.

She walked over to stand close to where I was huddled, without any emotion in her voice or a pained expression on her face.

"I was never going to tell you because I felt it was my fault. But, I've changed Edward. You probably thought I wanted you to call so I could have the pleasure of blowing you again. Now I want you to know about the abortion, and I want it to hurt, because it hurt me very badly."

"You got your wish," I said as I turned to sit against the side of the car.

"I actually think this whole situation is karma. Are you still a selfish bastard, or will you finally give up something you want for someone else? Jamie's life is in your hands, so I wish her luck."

"I know this doesn't mean shit to you, but I'm sorry Lauren, for…everything."

"You're right; it doesn't mean shit to me." Lauren walked back to her car and barely missed my legs as she drove away.

I finally got up off the ground and walked into the house. My mother looked up as I walked past the family room. She called out for me and I stopped but I couldn't change the expression on my face. "Bella told us the good news," she said with a smile and all I could do was nod, because there would be no more good news.

I headed up the staircase and saw Jamie in the hallway. She was playing with a Barbie car, pushing it up and down the narrow passage. She smiled and said, "Hi daddy."

"Hi princess," I said with a voice that sounded strained and hallow.

"I drank all my water," she announced and I tried to smile but my mouth began to shake.

"I'm proud of you," I said and turned into my bedroom.

Bella was in our bathroom taking off her makeup when I entered and sat on the bed. She glanced at me and finally walked all the way out of the bathroom and waited for me to say something.

I looked at her beautiful face, which I loved more than anything in the world. I had lived a rotten life, thoughtless and selfish, but she still wanted me, somehow this incredible creature still wanted me. What I had to tell her would most likely change her mind forever and I wasn't sure what words to use.

She looked scared and kept playing with the washcloth in her hand. "Did Lauren leave?" she asked.

I nodded and tried to swallow.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, knowing full well it wasn't.

"I love you," I said feeling the need for her to know before I ruined everything.

"I love you, too," she said softly and leaned against the wall to hear what was coming.

"Bella, you can have a baby, you just can't have my baby. We need to schedule you an abortion."

24

I wasn't sure what I expected. I didn't know if she would scream and yell at me, accusing me of not wanting to have a child with her, or if she would agree and feel grateful I found a solution. She stared at me for several moments and I realized I was holding my breath.

She finally smiled just slightly and said, "Edward, do you think I haven't considered this already? I've gotten online and looked at every possibility. What you're suggesting is not something I will consider. Somebody out there is a match for Jamie and we'll find that person. I want my baby, your baby."

I felt relief, mixed with such fear for Jamie. I also wanted Bella to know everything before marrying me. I had to admit the things Lauren told me. I held out my hand and Bella came to sit next to me. I kissed her fingers and spoke softly. "I got Lauren pregnant and she had an abortion. She never told me until just now. God Bella, I probably wouldn't have missed a moment of sleep if she would have told me at the time. I was a horrible human being. I didn't have to see it while I was in Chicago, but it is all around me here."

"Do you want to leave?" she asked and I knew she felt there was still a bit of the old Edward lurking inside me somewhere.

"No, I'm fine, I really need to face everything and hope someone notices I've grown up," I said and let my head fall in shame.

Bella took my hand and placed it on her stomach causing me to look up at her. "Do you have any idea how happy I am to be having your child? You are a wonderful father and in less than a month you've brought so much joy to Jamie."

I left my hand on her and pulled her to me so I could kiss the most amazing woman in the world. As much as I despised Riley Biers it was his fault I had Bella and Jamie, hurting them sent them to me and I couldn't be more grateful. "Are you still going to marry me tomorrow?" I asked.

She sighed, "Aside from Jamie being well, it is my biggest wish."

Bella left to get Jamie ready for bed. Since she was drinking so much water she had to wear a child's diaper at night and it embarrassed her so much I wouldn't come say goodnight until she was already tucked in.

I waited for Bella to call for me and walked into the room. Jamie smiled and said, "I get to be the flower girl."

"You are much more than just the flower girl, we are becoming a real family tomorrow, I'm the luckiest man alive," I said and bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Will I be Jamie Cullen now?" she asked and I glanced at Bella to see her nod to me.

"Of course," I said as if it was obvious. "And your mom will be Bella Cullen."

"Good," Jamie said, "I didn't like Bella Black, that's a yucky name."

I leaned in to whisper but said it loudly, "I didn't either."

Bella leaned her head in and whispered, "Me, too."

We all laughed and I grew more excited for tomorrow night, when everything I wanted would be mine. Bella and I returned to our room and I began removing my clothes. I walked into the bathroom naked to brush my teeth and wash my face. Bella stood in the doorway watching me.

I glanced over and smiled, "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm looking at you for the last night as a single man. After tomorrow you'll get bald and fat," she teased.

"My father is neither bald nor fat," I pointed out.

"I would love you all the same if you were," she said and walked into the bathroom and jumped onto the counter.

I moved over to stand between her legs and pulled her against me. "You feel like doing a single man?" I asked.

Her hands reached down to grasp my cock firmly. "Oh God," I said and let my head fall onto her shoulder. I ran my hands down the back of her nightgown and placed my thumb in her panties and pulled. She raised each side so I could work them down her ass. I moved back enough to remove her panties and threw them over my shoulder causing her to laugh.

She leaned back onto her elbows and I pulled her ass off the edge as she wrapped her legs around me. I was so aroused and tempted the thrust into her for my own gratification. But I remembered she was carrying my child and agreed to be my wife, so I entered her slowly as she moaned and let her head fall back. I wished I had a picture of her just like this, connected to me and feeling loved.

I controlled our movements by moving her hips back and forth. She began to pant but I kept up my slow and steady pace. She began pulling with her legs but I resisted her attempts to speed me up. "Edward," she called out with frustration.

"Trust me," I said and rocked her back and forth. Her breathing got very loud and she began to whimper. "I…I…ah….oh God…." She cried and her entire body went rigid as she raised high off of the counter. The sight of her sent me pumping wildly as I shot into her.

I collapsed against the counter, letting her body back onto the granite. She sat forward and threw her arms around my shoulders as she kissed my sweaty neck. When I calmed enough I walked over to draw a bath as she cleaned off the counter. We got into the hot water and I held her against my chest. This was absolute heaven.

When we finally made it to bed I was out instantly. I was in deep sleep when I felt a hand on my arm. I opened my eyes to see Jamie looking down on me. "I had a scary dream," she said with tears. I got out of bed, letting Bella sleep, and walked with Jamie back into her room. I put her in bed and sat against her headboard as I rubbed her back gently.

"Daddy," she said softly.

"Hmmm?"

"Tell me a story."

I smiled and she moved to lay her head on my lap and I played with her hair as I spoke. "Once upon a time there was a princess who lived in a beautiful castle. The king and Queen loved her very much and she knew nothing but happiness. One day she came upon a mouse and asked why he wasn't smiling. 'I'm sad,' said the mouse. The princess didn't know what sadness was so she went on her way. Next she came upon a cat who was sitting in the corner shaking. 'Why are you shaking?' she asked the cat. 'I'm scared,' he replied. The princess didn't know what it was like to be scared so she continued on with her day. Finally she came upon a bunny that was caught in a trap. 'Why can't you get free?' she asked. 'I have to be patient until the farmer comes to free me,' he told her. The princess didn't know how to be patient so she walked on. "

"A mean witch was very jealous of the princess and wanted to hurt her so she made a magic spell and cast the princess into the middle of a dark forest. The princess missed her family and was very sad. She thought of all the nice things she would do for them when she got home and it made her feel better. The sound of animals in the forest scared her, so she began singing her favorite songs to block the noises and filled the forest with beautiful singing. She knew her father the king would be looking for her so if she was patient she would be saved."

"When she got back to the kingdom she found the sad mouse and told him to think of nice things he could do for his friends and family and soon he was smiling. She found the cat still shaking in the corner and told him to sing a beautiful song. He ran off into the castle singing bravely. Finally, she found the rabbit waiting to be saved and opened the trap to let him free. The princess learned how to be useful because she experienced things to gain knowledge. She grew up to be the best Queen the kingdom ever had."

"That was the best story ever," Jamie said and yawned.

"Thank you, sweetheart." I let my head rest on the headboard and closed my eyes. I waited until Jamie was breathing deeply and scooted her off my lap and quietly left the room. I climbed back into bed and snuggled up behind Bella.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Perfect," I said and kissed the back of her head.

The following day Bella went shopping with my mom for a dress for her and Jamie. I was going to wear my black suit so I stayed home with Jamie. I made her a banana shake with protein powder and encouraged her until she got it all down.

"How do I spell Cullen?" she asked so I got a piece of paper and wrote it down for her. She worked on it over and over until she got it down. The rest of the day I kept finding little papers with the name Jamie Cullen all around the house.

When she fell asleep on the couch I went into my father's office to make a phone call. I dialed Riley's number and waited for the message to play. "Riley, this is Edward. I'm waiting to hear about the bone marrow test. Your week is almost up so call me soon or I'll be on a plane to see you."

Bella got home and asked me to stay in the office while she put the dresses away. I laughed, since we were living together, she was pregnant with my child, we planned a wedding in one day, and she felt it would be bad luck for me to see her dress.

My mother came into the office and sat on the desk. "Are you taking a honeymoon?" she asked.

"No, we'll wait until Jamie is done with Chemo and then do something as a family."

"Why don't you take them both to the island? Jamie would love it." I sensed she was telling me to let her see it before it was too late and I nodded at her suggestion. It would be the perfect way to spend private family time, Bella could relax and Jamie would love all the things to do. I made a mental note to talk to Bella about it.

I could hear her talking to Jamie and walked into the family room to see Bella trying different things with Jamie's hair. I picked up a post it off the lamp and held it up for Bella to read, Jamie Cullen. She laughed and said, "I think she is as anxious as I am."

I noticed Bella brought Jamie some food and I sat next to her on the floor and handed her bites as Bella fixed her hair. Jamie never complained, but also never asked for more. I had to make a point of constantly giving her the next bite. When she was done she ran to the bathroom to look at her hair.

"I called Riley," I told Bella quietly.

"Has he taken the test?" she asked.

"I don't know, I had to leave a message. I told him if he doesn't call me I'm coming to see him. I'll knock his ass out and swab his mouth myself if I have to," I said honestly.

Bella's eyes saddened and she began biting her lip so I decided to change the subject. "I was thinking of taking you and Jamie to Brazil for a late honeymoon."

"Really," Bella asked with a big smile.

"Yeah, we would have the whole island to ourselves. Jamie would love it, and you can rest."

"Rest?" she laughed. "I'm not made of glass."

I placed my hand on her stomach and said, "No, you're priceless. I just meant we have some hard times coming up and you'll need all your strength."

"You're my strength, Edward. I can do anything with you by my side."

"Bella Cullen," I said with a big smile.

"And it is about damn time," she laughed.

I rode to Jasper's with my father and Bella came with my mom and Jamie. I never doubted Alice, but I knew Bella would be stunned when she saw all the flowers and decorations. Charlie came with a woman he was seeing, Sue Clearwater. He spent a few minutes in the room alone with Bella and then came out with wet eyes.

We didn't have music or an aisle for Bella to walk down, she simply walked onto the deck holding Jamie's hand and they came to stand next to me. Bella had on a beautiful tea length dress. It clung to her body and made her look like a woman. Jamie had on a princess gown and was so proud of her gorgeous dress.

I kissed Bella and then leaned over to kiss Jamie. We all held hands and turned to face the justice. The ceremony was short and perfect. We wore simple matching bands and I promised to get Bella a diamond as soon as possible. The rest of the night was spent with those we cared for most in the world.

Jamie fell asleep in Jasper's hammock and I walked over to look at her sweet face. She looked pale and thin and the sight of her in the princess dress sent me into tears. I felt like I was looking at her in a casket and the sight was disturbing. I wiped my eyes and turned away to see Bella watching me. We stared across the deck at each other; both wondering the same thing, would our child mean the death of Jamie.

We all sat down as we sipped champagne and Rose pulled out a piece of paper. "Okay," she said. "We are all going to sign up for a day to help out. When does Jamie have chemo?"

"We're trying to set it up for Thursday's so I can take a day and then Edward, we will both be home for the weekends and then Esme will be with her the rest of the time. She should begin to feel a bit better by the time Monday's come."

"Okay, we will each take a day to help Esme. We can clean the house or run errands or just watch Jamie."

Bella began to cry loudly and I pulled her to my chest. Rose looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Do you not want our help?"

"No," Bella cried, "I just can't believe how great you all are."

It sent Alice and Rose into tears also and they moved into a group hug as the guys looked awkwardly on. We discussed the fact Riley had not responded yet and how I was going to fly to Chicago if I had to. Bella finally brought up the fact she was pregnant could be an issue for finding a perfect match.

"I want my baby, I really do," she said, "Are we wrong to keep our child?" she asked.

"Can you have this baby and then get pregnant again?" Alice asked.

"It would be too late. Jamie needs the transplant soon. We could wait nine months but a year and a half is too long to wait."

"I bet Riley will do the right thing," Sue said and reached out to squeeze Bella's hand.

Jamie woke up and made her way to the table without anyone noticing. She leaned against my shoulder and said, "Who's Riley?"


	9. Chapter 9

25

I had to admit I was so selfish I wanted Jamie to be mine, all mine. She loved me because she thought I was her father, and Riley didn't deserve her love. He would hurt her with his rejection and I wanted to spare her that pain, whether it was right or not.

I put my arm around Jamie and said, "We're just talking about people we know. Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"

She smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder so I pulled her onto my lap. "You're growing up fast, Jamie," Charlie said as he stared at his only grandchild.

"I have on heels, grandpa," she said, thinking he meant her literal growth.

"Soon we'll be attending your wedding," Charlie added and Bella smacked his arm.

"Stop it dad, Jamie is going to stay a little girl and live with me forever."

"Perry Smith said he wants to marry me," Jamie said, "But I told him he is too stupid because he is in the slow reading group."

"That wasn't nice, Jamie," Bella said.

"Tell Perry Smith if he wants to marry you he has to come talk to me," I whispered in her ear. "We'll bury him in my mom's garden."

Jamie laughed and Charlie turned to look at me. "You have no idea how close I came to burying you on a beach."

"Hey, I wasn't in your jurisdiction," I protested and everyone laughed except Bella. She looked sad and I felt overcome with shame. "Jamie," I said, "I hope you meet boys who are much nicer than me. Your mom didn't deserve a jerk like me."

"I loved you, Edward. Even if you were a jerk," Bella said and Jamie protested loudly and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Daddy is not a jerk," she said, "Jake is a jerk."

The group became quiet. Bella and I looked at each other and wondered if we were doing the right thing after so many mistakes to let Jamie believe I was her biological father. She was still young enough to let her believe without actually lying to her, but we both knew the day would come when she would ask questions.

After a few hours we headed home. It was a simple day, but we were now legally connected and could begin announcing the pregnancy. Are first order of business was to tell Jamie. She got in her pajamas and into bed before I came into her room.

Bella sat on the bed and I knelt on my knees as I held Bella's hand. "Honey, we have something to tell you," Bella said, "Edward and I were both only children, and we want you to have a brother or sister, so I'm going to have a baby."

"Really?" Jamie asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, in March," Bella said.

"We want you to know how much we love you and we want to have another child as sweet and loving as you are. You'll be a great big sister," I said honestly.

"Will this baby get sick, like me?" she asked to twist our hearts.

"We hope not, but if it does we will all pull together to get him or her better, just like we are doing for you," I assured her.

"Mom, are you going to get fat?" she giggled.

"Darn it Edward, we're going to have to bury Jamie in the garden, too," Bella teased and Jamie laughed loudly.

My phone rang and I looked down to see it was Riley, "Excuse me." I headed into the hallway and down the stairs as I answered the phone. "You better have some news for me."

I got tested, so where should they send the results," he said hatefully.

"Send them to Dr. Dunn in Forks. If you're a match he'll contact you with further instructions."

"You're barking up the wrong tree, I'm sure I'm not a match, hell I'm not even sure the kid is really mine. Girls are less than honest when they get caught with their pants down."

I took a calming breath and said, "Riley, you have no idea what a stupid fuck you are. You had an angel and you didn't even know it. I'll be waiting to hear from Dr. Dunn, you better do the same."

I got back to Jamie's room to find Bella singing her a song. She sounded like an angel and I felt a little guilty for getting hard as I listened to her sing. I went to our room and waited, but my exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep.

The sun was shining when I felt Bella get in bed; obviously she slept with Jamie because of a scary dream or something. I felt her kiss my bare chest and I moaned in pleasure. Her tongue moved over my nipple and I hissed at the sensation.

"Edward?" I heard Bella say, but her voice was coming from the other side of the room, not from our bed. I opened my eyes to see Tanya lying next to me and staring at Bella.

"Ah shit," I yelled and jumped from the bed, nude. I was aroused and tried to use my hands to cover myself as both women stared at my erection. "I thought you were Bella," I said to Tanya and then turned to Bella, "I thought she was you."

"And who is 'she'? Bella asked.

"Oh, this is Tanya, a family friend," I said to explain and Bella turned to look at her with crossed arms.

"I'm assuming you used to wear Flower Bomb perfume," Bella said.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Edward, would you please put something on to cover your pecker. Tanya, would you please get out of my husband's bed," Bella said and turned to leave the room.

"You're married?" Tanya gasped.

"Yeah, um…can you leave so I can dress," I begged her.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Edward, I've seen your dick more than you have." She got off the bed and headed out of the room.

I was terrified to face Bella and hoped Tanya wouldn't decide to share family stories going back to when I was fifteen. I dressed and ran down the stairs to find Bella and Jamie eating breakfast. I kissed them both and Bella tensed a little.

"Excuse me and mommy for a minute, Jamie," I said and pulled Bella up from the chair and down the hallway into my dad's office.

"Stop pulling me," she said and pulled her hand from mine.

"Tanya is an old friend; I have known her my entire life. We grew…"

"So you've fucked her, right?" Bella said and crossed her arms.

I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to find a way to make it sound better than it was. I gave up and threw my hands in the air. "Yeah, I have. I lost my virginity to Tanya."

Bella's eye got wide and her mouth fell open as she tried to find the words to say how outraged she was. "Here…she's here…in your bed."

"It is our bed, Bella. She didn't know about you, but I promise you will like her," I mistakenly said.

"Oh really, hum…let me go get Jake and see how buddy buddy you can be with him."

"I've shared a beer with Riley, how do you think it made me feel?"

"I've lived in Forks, where every girl with a broken hymen has been intimate with you. How do you think it makes me feel?" Bell screamed.

"You are the only woman I have ever loved," I yelled back at her.

"Are you sure I wasn't just the only girl who told you no," she accused.

"You're pregnant with my child, so exactly when did you tell me no?"

Her eyes got huge this time and she got right up in my face and said, "You egotistical bastard. You know I didn't give it up in school…I mean to you…I mean when I came to Forks…I…oh fuck you."

I smiled and she pushed me with both of her hands and I fell back into a chair. I laughed at her and soon she broke into laughter too and came to sit on my lap. "Edward, it was our wedding night and you fell asleep. Then I get out of bed to change Jamie's sheets and come back to find some woman kissing you."

"I had no idea they were coming, and Tanya had no idea I got married. I'm sure she is feeling awful."

"She should," Bella mumbled and I pulled her mouth to mine and kissed her like a new bride. She responded and ran her fingers into my hair as we escalated the kiss.

My father walked into his office and came to a quick stop. "Sorry, dad, we'll get out of your way." I stood and took Bella's hand to lead her into the family room to meet the Denalis.

Tanya stood when we entered the room and spoke direct to Bella. "I'm really sorry; please to judge me on this first meeting. Edward is like a little brother to me," she said.

"I doubt that," Bella said and gave me a disgusted look.

"Honey, the Denalis have been our friends since Carlisle and I first married. I hope you grow to love them as we do," Esme said and then turned to her friends. "Bella is such an amazing woman, and she had an adorable little girl, please come meet Jamie."

They all left the room and Bella glared at Tanya as she walked past her. I decided it was the best I could hope for and pulled an album from the shelf to show Bella what to expect in Brazil. She was fascinated and when everyone returned to the room Jamie began looking at the pictures, too.

"Can we ride those things?" she asked as she pointed to the jet skis.

"Sure, and there's a boat too. When it is cold here, it is hot there," I explained.

"Yes," Tanya said, "And there are wonderful little inlets where you can swim unnoticed."

I gave Tanya a warning look but she only smiled. "Look at the dolphins," I said and pointed at the picture.

"Will I see some, daddy?" Jamie asked and Tanya laughed loudly.

"Daddy? Oh God, please don't tell me you allow that."

Jamie looked at her with sad eyes and I handed her the album and stood, "Tanya, will you join me in the kitchen."

I walked angrily and spun around to get right into her face. "Jamie is my daughter and Bella is pregnant with our next child. I don't want you saying anything disrespectful to my daughter or my wife. Are we clear?"

"Edward, she is not your child. God, what is this woman trying to pull," she said adamantly.

"Bella spent summers here with her father. I didn't know about Jamie," I lied.

"She doesn't look like you," Tanya said.

"No, she looks exactly like her mother, but with lighter eyes," I said and Tanya looked toward the other room and I could tell she was considering the news I had given her.

"I think you should get a paternity test," she said and I clenched my teeth.

"I love them, Tanya. You are walking a very fine line."

"You just turned twenty-four, how could you want this life?" she demanded.

I stared at her as I shook my head. "I always thought you were so sweet and such an understanding woman, but you're just a bitch, aren't you?"

"We were the perfect pair, Edward. You were just a male version of me. Remember who you're talking to, you won't be loyal and you know it."

"My daughter is fighting for her life, I would never hurt her," I said with conviction.

"Well, maybe there is a way out for you after all," she said with a laugh.

Bella walked into the room and walked right up to Tanya. I stood stunned when she spoke softly and said, "Surely you aren't suggesting my baby die, because that would mean you are heartless."

Tanya didn't answer, but she smirked at Bella, causing my wife's hand to pull into a fist and swing directly at Tanya's jaw. Tanya screamed and fell to the side as she looked to me for help. I reached out for Bella's hand and pulled her from the room.

Her entire body was shaking with anger and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. "She actually wants Jamie to die. I want her out of this house, or I'm going to my fathers."

Tanya ran to her parents and there was a loud commotion coming from my father's office. The Denalis came out and announced they were leaving. I held Bella close to me and refused to offer any apology or solution.

We had been married less than twenty-four hours and my wife was confronted by my past. I ruined our wedding night and now made her first day as Mr. Cullen miserable. I had to do something to make her happy to be my wife.

"Bella, let's take Jamie and go to the meadow. She won't be exposed to germs and I can carry her. She is stuck in this house so much."

"I'm sorry for our friends," Carlisle said.

"It's okay," Bella offered him. "It isn't your friends that were the problem. It is Edward's past that I need to learn how to deal with."

"Well, I take responsibility for that, too. We were very indulgent with our son."

I wanted out of there as quickly as possible. I knew I hurt my parents and now I was hurting my wife. I wanted to get them alone where I could show them how much I loved them. Bella went to get Jamie ready and my father pulled me into his office. I expected a lecture but he wanted to talk to me about Jamie's medical needs.

"Son, have you prepared Bella and Jamie for what is to come? They need to understand the effects of the chemo."

"Yeah, I'll talk to them both at the meadow," I promised and left to spend the day with my girls.

We picked up some food and drove to the spot I now loved. I thought of it as ours and it was where I got Bella back. We put down a blanket and I sat Jamie in the shade. Bella handed her a cookie and she only nibbled on it.

"Jamie, you have Chemo again in two days, and your mother and me have to go back to work soon. We need to talk about a few things."

"Okay," she said and I glanced at Bella to see how she was doing.

"The medicine is going to make you sick, it will be helping your body, but you will feel so much worse. And one of the ways we can tell if it is helping you get better is if your hair falls out."

She only looked at me so I knew she didn't understand what I meant, so I explained further. "Honey, you will go bald, but it doesn't last, your hair will grow back."

"Bald like Mr. George?" she asked and Bella nodded as her eyes filled with tears.

"Jamie, it might help if you shave your head, and daddy will shave his head, too. We can do it together."

Bella reached out and wiped Jamie's tears. "Honey you can wear a wig and nobody will know. You can pick any wig you want in any color."

I decided to let her process the information before adding anything more. She looked at me and asked, "Are you going to wear a wig?"

"No," I laughed. "I don't mind looking like Mr. George," I said and had no idea who he was but both Bella and Jamie laughed.

"Okay," Jamie finally said, "I'll shave my head and wear a wig."

"That's my girl," I smiled and felt my phone vibrate.

I looked at it to see it was Dr. Dunn. I quickly answered and heard him say, "Edward, I got Riley's results."

I got up and walked away a few feet to hear what he had to say. His words would give Jamie hope for a full recovery or it would send us on a worldwide search and possibly end the life of our baby.

26

I extended my arm and leaned against the tree to steady myself to hear the news I was about to receive. I had my back to Bella and Jamie so they wouldn't see my reaction. I took a deep breath and told him to go ahead.

"He's a perfect match," he said, and my knees buckled and I grabbed the tree tightly.

"Say it again," I begged.

"He'll be the perfect donor. I'll get in touch with him and begin the preparation for a December procedure. We'll have to put Jamie in a hospital in Seattle for the blood cell kill. She'll be highly susceptible to infection and it is a very dangerous time for her before getting the new cells."

"Okay," I said unable to say anything else.

"We'll check for remission after two rounds of chemo, we don't want to tax her body too much before the procedure."

"Okay, it sounds good," I said.

We hung up and I turned to look at my girls. Jamie looked totally oblivious, just as a seven year old should, but Bella was watching me closely. I nodded slightly and Bella covered her mouth with her hand. I tried so hard to remain composed but as soon as I sat down Jamie asked, "What's wrong, dad?"

I pulled her to me and sobbed loudly. I was so relieved and felt I was handed a miracle. Bella wrapped her arms around us and she cried along with me. Jamie was confused and thought we got really bad news. She began to cry and asked again what was wrong.

I let her loose and smiled down at her. "Jamie, we got some really good news. We found someone with the same blood you have and he'll give you his healthy blood to make you healthy."

"Do I have to drink it?" she asked.

Bella and I laughed. I was so excited and began talking quickly, explaining a transplant in terms which were way too difficult for Jamie to understand. Bella fell back onto the blanket and took a deep breath and shook her head. She looked so tired and I wanted to make her life better. I wanted her home with Jamie and resting so I decided to go work with Jasper as soon as possible.

We could pay for insurance until I got them put onto mine. I also wanted to adopt Jamie as soon as possible. When we decided to head home Bella took my arm as I carried Jamie. I smiled and she winked at me.

All the drama over Tanya was long forgotten and it turned into a joyous day. We told my parents the second we arrived and Bella stepped from the room to update Rose so she could post it on Jamie's web page.

By the time to long day ended I told Jamie goodnight and waited for Bella in our bed. I wasn't going to fall asleep no matter what. She came in and ran to jump onto the bed. I laughed as she attacked me with kisses.

"Bella, I want you to quit your job and stay home with Jamie. I'll start working with Jasper on Monday and we can keep COBRA benefits for a month."

"Okay," she said quickly and I looked at her with raised eyebrows. I had no idea it would be so easy to convince her.

"No discussion?" I asked.

"Nope, you are a miracle maker Edward, and I'll do anything you want," she announced.

"Really?" I smiled. "So if I ask you to remove your clothes?"

She sat up and pulled her shirt off, so I put my arms behind my head and watched. She continued to remove all her clothes and reached for my pajama bottoms. I let her removed my own clothing as I grew more aroused.

"Now what?" she asked.

"Rub your body on mine," I said with a soft voice.

She moved to my feet and crawled like a snake up my body, stopping to rest her breast on the sides of my cock. I smiled at the sight so she sat up and held my member against her pelvic bone as she rubbed it up and down. My breathing picked up and she raised just enough to tease me against her wet vagina.

"Now what, Edward?" she asked with a breath.

"Sit, hard," I panted.

She continued to tease me and I tried to lift my hips but she moved higher. I was just about to protest when she came down hard onto me. I cried out with pleasure and she moved to clamp her hand over my mouth.

"Shhh," she laughed.

My happiness over the news we were given coupled with her body was too much for me. I was rock hard and flipped her over so I could get what I needed. I couldn't move slowly, I was so hot for her and I needed to have her over and over again. I pumped with a fury as she tightened her legs around me.

"Bella, I need you hard," I grunted. She placed her feet on the bed and began meeting me with her own thrusts.

"Fuck me hard," she cried and it made me even harder to hear her say that. I got on my knees and held her up as I moved with a vengeance. Her breasts were moving in rhythm with my thrusting and I stared at the amazing sight.

It made us feel alive and invincible. It was so different from our tender lovemaking. This was proving we were powerful together and nothing could hurt us. I now realized why I always had sex like this when I was younger. I needed to feel powerful because inside I felt weak. I was beginning to finally understand myself and I had Bella to thank for it.

The next day I got out the shears and Bella cut my hair first so Jamie could watch. She stared in amazement as my long hair fell to the ground. It would be nothing like hers but she didn't think I looked too weird with my hair shaved. She willingly sat down and Bella cut off a lock of her hair to keep as a memory.

Luckily, Jamie was a beautiful girl and her shaved head just accentuated her eyes and cheek bones. She was still gorgeous and when Bella held up the mirror Jamie actually smiled. She rubbed her hand over her head and laughed loudly.

"It feels so much lighter," Jamie noticed and I agreed with the statement as my own head felt lighter.

"We can look online for different wigs and see what style you like," Bella told her and Jamie only shrugged. Her bravery touched my heart and I was so proud of the strong spirit she had.

I left them to their online shopping and headed out to Port Angeles to check out my new job. I thought I would feel like a failure having my friend support me, but I was determined to do my best to increase his business and really be an asset for him.

I knocked on his office door and walked in. He nodded and tossed me a cigarette while he talked on the phone. I set it back on his desk and sat in a chair to wait for him to finish. He hung up and smiled at me. "Nice hair."

"Jamie shaved her head today," I informed him.

"I heard the fucker was a match," he stated correctly.

"Yeah, it gives Jamie a better chance of complete remission, but it will still be a tough road," I said. "But, I'm here to help Jasper, let me know what I can do for you."

"Let me give you a rundown of the business, from start to finish, and get your ideas."

I listened to Jasper for over an hour and something jumped out at me. "You talk about fixing the hull, but what about interior fixes. If you are selling an old ship what updates do you offer on the inside?"

"I don't," he said and could tell where I was going with this.

"So you pull it into dry dock and they have to take it somewhere else and pull it again? A ship is a home for the crew and it should be upgraded along with the repairs," I said as Jasper nodded enthusiastically.

"Tell you what," Jasper said, "You get me some numbers and look into the demand. If you can find a way to do it cheaper than competitors I'll put you in charge of it."

He got up and walked across the hallway to open a door to a small office. "Here you go," he said and I stopped before walking in.

"Jasper, I want you to know…."

"Hey, stop being a pussy," he said and walked back into his office.

I walked into the small room and looked out the big glass window overlooking the warehouse. I stared at the large ship being welded and smiled. It wasn't medicine, but it was fixing what was broken and I could be happy with it.

I began making phone calls and lined up some meetings for the following week. I left when it was dark and drove home feeling like I had accomplished something for my family. I walked in the door and Jamie came running in to see me.

"Daddy, look what Alice made for me," she said and pulled on a small hat with hair hanging from the bottom. It looked so real you would swear it was Jamie's hair.

"That's amazing," I said and when she handed me the hat I put it on my head.

"Daddy, stop," she laughed. "You look silly."

Bella walked in and laughed at the sight. "Edward, you are a very handsome man, but you make an ugly ass woman."

"Hey, our child will look just like this," I teased.

Jamie laughed. "No, it will look like me," she said and Bella looked away.

I noticed Jamie kept rubbing her port so I moved her shirt to look at it. "Is this hurting?" I asked.

"No, it itches," she said and I looked closer at it.

"Is something wrong?" Bella asked with a worried voice.

"No, it looks fine. I'll just put extra antibiotic on it tonight. Are you keeping it dry?" I asked Jamie and she nodded.

"Speaking of which, let's get you in the bath, young lady," Bella said and they both headed upstairs. I loved seeing Jamie so active and feeling good, I knew tomorrow would be a different story. I waited for Jamie to get her in bed and came in to tell her goodnight.

Jamie handed me the swab stick with the antibiotic cream and I put on extra before covering it with a large bandage. "Are you up for your chemo tomorrow?" I asked her and she nodded with fear in her eyes.

"Just remember it is killing the cancer in your blood and someday this will all be a distant memory, but we all need to be brave right now."

"Are you coming with me?" she asked.

"No, mommy will be with you tomorrow and then I'll be home on Friday. But, mommy is going to quit her job so she can be with you all the time. Grandma and Grandpa Cullen are here, too," I said without realizing I had never referred to them in that manner.

Her eyes grew wide and she said, "They're my grandpa and grandma?"

I looked at Bella in fear but she placed her hand on my shoulder and said, "Of course they are, you're a Cullen aren't you?"

Jamie smiled and nodded proudly. We both gave her a kiss and as we started out the door Jamie said, "I miss my friends, can I see them soon?"

"You have to be very careful with germs, Jamie, but you can use my computer and talk to them online," I offered and she nodded with a big smile.

Bella and I headed to our room and I brought up the idea of getting a computer cam for her friends so she could see them and talk without having to type. I promised Bella I would look into a computer we could drop off to her friends, taking turns and giving Jamie some socialization.

We got into bed and I held her in my arms as I told her all about my time at work. I was excited about the possibilities and Bella listened to me drone on and on. I soon realized she had a big day and needed her rest to keep up here strength. I placed my hand on her stomach and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Good, I have an appointment in two weeks. I feel pretty good, I was really sick with Jamie," she said.

"I'm sorry you had to go through it alone," I said and my mind wandered to Lauren.

"It was easy to tell my mother, but it broke my heart to tell my father. He felt like he failed me because he wasn't around to demand boys treat me with respect. I tried to tell him it wouldn't have mattered; smooth talking guys are a dangerous breed."

I lay in the dark with Bella in my arms and I thought back over the years and could not think of one time I ever worried about a father. Charlie was the only one I acknowledged and it was because he wore a badge and could make my life miserable. I also thought about Jamie dating and what smooth talking boys would try to do with her. "Oh God," I moaned, "Why couldn't Jamie be a boy?"

Bella laughed and looked over at me, "Feeling a bit guilty, Daddy?"

"More than a bit," I admitted.

"Well, I'm putting Jamie on birth control the second she starts high school," Bella said with conviction.

I chuckled, "There's no need, I'm going with her on every single date."

"How many girls did you sleep with that you actually took on a date?" she challenged me.

"Okay, I'm going with her every time she leaves the house," I corrected and Bella laughed.

She placed her head on my chest and sighed. "Edward, I hope we get to have these worries with her. I want her going out with friends as we have to wait up to see if she has been drinking or having sex. I'll happily take these stresses if my daughter can only live."

"We have a match, we'll get her through this and be a closer family for it," I said, but I had to admit I was just as terrified as she was. I couldn't image having to bury Jamie and being able to continue on with a baby. There was something deep in my soul which told me the baby was coming to save us from our despair and it scared the shit out of me.

27

Jamie's second treatment was a little rougher for her. She was very nauseous and it took everything we had to keep her hydrated. Her port got a yeast infection and we worked like crazy to get it cleared up. Bella was exhausted and I felt guilty going to work where I could forget for just a bit.

I was getting some great information for Jasper and he was growing excited for the expansion. I was interviewing fishing crews when I met a young lady named Brea. She worked on her father's crew and gave me some great insight into what was needed on a boat and what should be changed.

I was sitting with her at lunch one day when a woman who looked very familiar walked in. I stared at her, trying to figure out how I knew her, when it dawned on me it was Stephanie. "Shit," I mumbled and Brea turned to look where I had been looking.

"Hey, Stephanie," she called out and the woman came toward our table. I prayed my new hair cut would keep me from being recognized, but Brea took care of that. "This is Edward Cullen," she said and I nodded as I took a drink from my coke.

"I know Edward…intimately," she said. "How are you?"

"Good, how are you?" I asked and prayed she didn't tell me about an abortion I was unaware of.

She laughed and shook her head. "I actually just got a new car."

I almost spit my coke across the table and we both laughed together. "Um…I'm really sorry Stephanie, I was really a jerk and you were a very nice girl."

"Oh God, I was a whore and I know it," she said and I shook my head in disagreement. "But Brea's a great woman, you'll be happy with her."

"Oh…no…"

Brea jumped into the conversation and said, "Edward's married, we're having a business lunch."

"Married?" Stephanie asked loudly and then really laughed. "Who in their right mind would marry Edward Cullen?"

I let my head drop and I felt awful, I wanted to tell her a wonderful, beautiful woman who inspired me to change agreed to be my wife, but I was suddenly worried about what Jamie was going to hear when she announced to her friends she was a Cullen. I really hoped she gets well and I can move them to Chicago.

I decided to end the lunch and set some cash on the table and excused myself. I had enough information from Brea and didn't want to give anyone reason to gossip and worry Bella. I headed home early and decided to give Bella a break and let her rest since Jamie had another treatment today.

I pulled into the garage and my mother met me at the door. I could tell by her face something was wrong. I waited in my car with the window down for her to come speak to me. "Dr. Dunn called, Riley isn't responding to his calls. Bella's very upset."

That yellow bellied piece of shit, he was going to run out on her again. But Riley didn't figure on being chased this time and there was no corner of the earth he could hide in. I would hunt him down and drag his ass to Forks.

I got out of my car and went in to find Bella washing the bedding Jamie had thrown up on. I pulled her into my arms and held her as she cried. He gave her a child unwillingly and was now purposefully taking it away from her.

"Don't worry, Bella. He can't hide, I'll find him by pressuring his father," I promised her.

"Why would he hurt her, Edward? She's done nothing to him, nothing."

"He's a coward, and I have to be grateful he is or I wouldn't have you and Jamie. But, I won't allow him to hurt her, I promise."

"I'm so tired," she sighed and I held her away from my body to look at her.

"You get right in bed, I'm taking over today," I said and turned her shoulders to send her away from the washing machines. She walked slowly to our bed and I worried about her stamina. I continued on to Jamie's room and found her so pale and crying with no tears.

"Hi, princess," I said and she tried so hard to smile but it wouldn't quite form. "What can I do for you, sweetheart?"

"Can you take the balloons out of here, they get on my nerves," she said with a hoarse voice.

I reached out and gathered the Mylar balloons and put them in the hallway. When I came back into the room Jamie looked even paler. I pulled out my phone and called Dr. Dunn. I told his nurse to have him call me right away and then called my father, but he didn't answer either. I felt Jamie needed a blood infusion of red blood cells. If nothing else it would make her feel better.

I sat on Jamie's bed for half an hour and she never moved once. I finally picked her up in my arms and carried her to my car. I never realized how horrible it was to wait for a doctor to call. Every minute seemed like hours.

I was almost to the hospital when Dr. Dunn called. I gave him a run down on Jamie's condition and he was going to call and set up an infusion. Jamie was so lethargic she didn't even respond when they accessed her port. I wanted to talk to the doctor on call and ask him why her levels weren't check when she was in earlier.

A young man walked up to me announcing he was the resident in charge. He looked younger than me and I worried for my daughter. "My daughter is severely anemic, why wasn't she checked earlier today?"

"Um…she seemed fine when she received her treatment," he said and I took a deep breath to calm down.

"I want her checked every time she comes in, she a little child for God's sake, do your fucking job," I yelled and felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back to see my father giving me a warning look. "Do you ever answer your phone?" I yelled at him.

"Excuse us," he said to the resident and pulled me into an exam room. "This doesn't help, Edward. I realize you are stressed…."

"Stressed, you think I'm merely stressed? Bella is a walking zombie and Jamie is non-responsive. Riley isn't responding to Dr. Dunn's calls. I am nowhere near stressed, I'm out of my fucking mind," I yelled loudly.

I thought he would lecture me or tell me to grow the hell up, but he pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. "I'm so sorry, son," he said and I clung to my father as I let him carry some of my burden. His shoulders had always seemed so broad and I needed them right now.

"Dad, I have to go after Riley. I'm going to fly out tomorrow night so I can be back by Monday for work. Can you look after Bella and Jamie?"

"Sure son, are you sure it is necessary to go to Chicago?"

"I'm not going to Chicago, I'm going to Arizona," I told him and he nodded and placed his hand on my cheek.

"Edward, I'm very proud of you, son."

Those were the words I needed to hear and terrified I would never deserve. I didn't care about the town gossip, my father was proud of me and that was all I needed to hear. I let him give me one last hug and headed back to check on Jamie. She was lying in an infusion chair and she looked so tiny. I sat next to her and she turned to look at me.

"Daddy, I don't want to be sick anymore," she said with a faint voice.

"You'll feel so much better after the blood infusion, I promise."

"I was thinking," she said and I leaned closer to hear what she had to say. "Maybe if I died you could be happy with the new baby and not worried all the time."

I tried not to respond with the shock I felt and leaned in more and kissed her on the nose. "I can't imagine one day without you. The worst day with you here is a million times better than the best day with you gone. I love you, Jamie, with all my heart." She smiled softly and I added, "Your mommy would never be happy without you Jamie. You are her reason for breathing."

"I'm trying to be brave," she said and I had to work really hard to keep my tears at bay.

"You are extremely brave, honey."

Speaking to her for those few minutes made me excited to get on that plan and beat the shit out of Riley Biers. I hoped he didn't call Dr. Dunn because I wanted my pound of flesh. I would never let him out of his responsibility to save Jamie. I would drag him back for the bone marrow but never let him near Jamie. She would never set eyes on the man who failed her.

When the infusion was over her color was much better and she was talking to the nurses. I felt a sigh of relief as I carried her to the car. She had her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek several times, making me smile.

I was walking through the door when Jamie tensed and buried her face in my neck. I looked up to see Jake standing on the walk with his uniform on.

He glanced over at us and his eyes narrowed. "Edward," he said with a slight nod and I refused to answer. "Is that Jamie?" he asked. "Hi honey."

Jamie never let her head rise and tightened her hold on me. "I've got you, baby. He can't hurt you." I continued walking in the parking lot and said, "Jamie, did Jake hurt you, more than your arm?"

"He was mean," she said.

"Did he hit you?" I asked.

"No, he told me mommy didn't want me around all the time. He said she liked him better than me."

I couldn't believe he could be jealous of a child. He was older than me and acted like a child himself. I sat Jamie in the car and knelt next to her. "Jamie, Jake lied because he wanted Bella to himself. He is selfish and he lied. Your mother loves you more than anyone else in the world."

"I'm so glad you came home Daddy. I missed you. Why did you leave?"

Man, I wanted Bella here so badly. I was afraid I was going to say something wrong or something that would lead to other questions. I didn't want to lie and tried to find words that could mean different things. "Honey, I needed to grow up and your mother needed a home for you. She chose the wrong man, Jake, and I didn't think she wanted me anymore. We both made mistakes, but it is all fixed now."

She smiled and accepted my explanation for now. I drove home and found Bella still asleep. I left her alone and she slept through the entire night. I took advantage of the free evening to call Rose and Alice and ask them to help out for a couple of hours in the afternoons so Bella could begin taking naps. They were happy to be of help.

Jamie came downstairs in her nightgown with a box. She sat next to me and asked, "Dad, can you play paper dolls with me?"

"What's that?" I asked and she laughed.

"Here, you can be Tiffany," she said and handed me a flat hard copy of a little girl with blonde hair.

"I'll be Veronica," she said and showed me another flat doll.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"We play," she said and held her paper doll up by mine and began talking in a high pitched voice. "Tiffany, do you want to go to the mall?"

"Jamie, you can't go to the mall, there are too many germs," I said, without understanding the playing had started and she laughed loudly.

"No, the pretend mall," she clarified.

"Oh, okay," I said and used my own high voice. "Sure, Veronica lets go to the mall and check out the boys."

God I hoped Emmett and Jasper never caught wind of this. I would have to move right away or at least give up one testicle. She walked her doll down the couch to the other end and I moved quickly to catch up.

"Look, isn't that dress cute?" she said in the odd voice again.

"You should buy it," I said.

"I'll try it on, you wait for me," she said and moved her paper doll behind the couch. She opened the box and pulled out a dress with tabs to wrap around the paper doll. She brought it back over the arm of the couch and said, "What do you think?"

"It's perfect," I said and moved Tiffany around to look at it from every angle.

"Let's get a tattoo to go with our new dresses," Jamie said and I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Veronica you are so crazy," I said with my Tiffany voice. "Tattoo's are so ugly and hideous and only stupid people would break their daddy's hearts and get one."

"Dad," Jamie complained.

"I know, let's go home and watch a Disney movie, it would be so much better than getting a tattoo."

"Dad, stop it," she laughed.

"I know," I said as I continued on as Tiffany, "Let's get manicures and pedicures."

Her face lit up and she jumped right back into character. "Okay, let's go."

We now marched over to the chair and talked about music and movies. I was so glad we never got to boys or liquor. When she finally tired of the game she took Tiffany and put her back in the box. She turned to walk up stairs and I called out to her, "Jamie."

"Yeah," she answered and turned to look at me.

"You never speak of this to anyone, okay?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Mom was right, boys are babies," she said and headed up the stairs.


	10. Chapter 10

I got on the computer and looked up everything I could find on the Biers family. I knew it would be hard to get close to the father with all his security, but I at least got a good look at his face. I would try to approach him as a friend of Riley's who needed to pay him back some money. Rich politicians were greedy and would always respond to money.

Bella woke up looking so much better and when she walked into the kitchen I jumped up to make her breakfast. "Just something small," she said, "I'm a bit nauseous."

I made her toast and yogurt and then I made a shake to take up to Jamie. I knocked but she didn't answer so I walked into her room. She was coming out of her bathroom and began to cry when she saw me. I rushed over to her, "What's wrong?"

"I have pee coming from my rear," she said and cried harder.

"Oh sweetheart, I have some medicine for that. Think of it as the cancer being kicked the hell out of your body," I said to make her smile.

I ran downstairs to get her the diarrhea medicine and Bella came back up with me. Jamie looked at her mom and said, "The cancer is getting the hell out of my body from my butt."

Bella turned to look at me with an accusing stare and I couldn't help the grin that formed. "Thank God you won't be a doctor," she said and I felt the sting of her words. I would give it up for her and Jamie, but it had been my path for so long that the realization I would never be a doctor finally settled in my mind.

I gave Jamie the medicine and told her it would take awhile to work and it was extra important for her to drink her water today. Bella began encouraging her to drink her shake and I left the room. I was getting dressed when Bella walked in.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," she said with sad eyes.

"Bella, it isn't as important as you are. I think I'll enjoy working with Jasper."

"Is there any way we can work it out for you to go back this semester?"

I pulled her in my arms and looked right into her eyes. "Bella, it isn't just Jamie's illness keeping me here. You're my wife and I love you passionately. I can't think of anywhere I would rather be, you are not taking anything from me, you are giving my life purpose."

"I love you, Edward. I think you get lost in the battle and I want you to remember I love you so much."

"You were right all those years ago," I smiled. "You are worth it."

I kissed her and she swatted my ass and said, "Get to work, Cullen."

"I'm driving to Seattle today," I said and watched her eyes widen in surprise. "I'm flying to Arizona to have a talk with Riley."

"You better explain to me how to wire money so I can get you out of jail," she said seriously.

"I'm not going to jail; we are just going to come to an agreement. He'll show up when he is supposed to or he can explain on national television why his father talks about family values as he runs off on his kid in need."

"Promise you'll be careful. I worry about how they will respond to this," she said with sad eyes.

"I'll be fine, can you manage this weekend by yourself. Rose and Alice are going to come by so you can rest for a couple of hours in the afternoon."

"Edward," she said and rolled her eyes, "Your mother is here."

"I know, but it is a big job to keep Jamie entertained and the house running. Just make sure they both wash their hands really well, and they don't have a cold."

Jamie called out for Bella and I finished dressing and packed a small bag. I headed into Jamie's room and could hear the shower running and Bella trying to get Jamie to calm down. I stood outside the bathroom door with my forehead resting against it and felt so angry that Jamie had to go through this. She was only seven and her life was full of pain and humiliation.

I waited patiently for them to return to the room and Jamie was still crying so I held my arms out for her. She ran to me and let me comfort her, without actually fixing anything. I noticed Bella crying and she left the room. I was torn with the decision of who to offer my shoulder to for support.

For a brief moment I considered cancelling my trip, but I couldn't let Bella continue to believe Riley wasn't going to help Jamie. I kissed her head and helped her climb into bed. "Jamie, I have to go on a business trip this weekend and I won't be home until Sunday night or Monday, but I will call you every day and you can call me anytime you want, okay?"

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To Arizona to talk with someone, I'll bring you something, what would you like?"

"Can I have a kitty?" she asked.

"A stuffed animal," I asked.

"No, a real kitty, so I won't cry so much," she said and let her lip stick out a bit. I was being played and I knew it. Girls were born with this gift and I saw it over and over throughout my life. I never fell for it when a girl begged me to call or begged me to be faithful, but this time my heart was being ripped from my chest.

"Honey, we can't get you a pet until you're better, they have too many germs, but next summer we'll look into getting you a kitty, okay?"

"Okay," she said sadly and it was just another thing she would have to be denied because of her illness.

"I'll bring you something else," I offered and she just shrugged. I laughed and leaned over to kiss her head and got up to leave so she asked if I would get her a banana. I was thrilled she seemed hungry and ran right down to get it. She took a small bite and let it sit in her hand.

I kissed her one last time and she asked for a movie from downstairs. I found it in the cabinet and headed back to her room. Bella was waiting by the door and took the video from me. "Honey, she is trying to keep you from leaving, I'll take this to her."

"Damn, she got me," I exclaimed and Bella laughed before giving me a very serious kiss. She walked into Jamie's room and I had to force myself to get my bag and go. The drive to Seattle was long and I kept thinking about the time when we would be making this trip over and over again. Jamie would be in the hospital for close to two months for the transplant and I worried about Bella traveling during the winter and very pregnant.

I boarded a plane and sat next to the window as I stared at nothing and planned what I was going to say to Riley. I vacillated between hoping he would tell me it was all a misunderstanding and he is still planning to donate his marrow, and having to beat him to a bloody pulp and take it myself.

I arrived in Phoenix late in the day and drove right to the capital building. I saw Mr. Biers' parking spot was occupied so I walked to his office. A pretty woman sat at the desk and I wondered if my buzz cut ruined my appeal. I smiled and she blushed a little.

"Hi, I'm a friend of Riley's," I began and she quickly interrupted me.

"He won't be here until about seven tonight. He's at the golf benefit with his father."

I wanted to kiss her for giving me the information without having to offer up any lines. "Thanks," I said and turned to leave the office. I walked over to a small bench and sat down to wait as I stared at the large staircase he would come up.

It was seven ten when his father came walking up with several men around him. I searched for Riley, but he wasn't in the group. I kept my head down and hoped nobody noticed me hanging around. After they entered the office I walked to the staircase and stood with my back to it, thinking Riley wouldn't recognize me with the buzz cut.

I heard someone coming up the stone steps and turned to see him heading right for me. He glanced at me but looked away, not noticing who I was. He stepped onto the marble floor and I spoke. "Hello, Riley."

He looked at me and his face drained of blood while I smiled cockily. I had my arms folded and I hit the start button on the small tape recorder in my hand.

"You aren't answering your phone," I said and he glanced at his father's door. "We can take the conversation into Daddy's office if you like," I offered.

"No, this is good," he said nervously.

"Okay, you get a girl pregnant and tell her you'll come back for her, but you don't. Then you find out your daughter is sick and needs you as a donor, but you stop answering your phone. You are a bit of a prick aren't you Riley Biers?"

"Look, I gave her money to leave me alone and…."

"You didn't give her shit, your daddy gave her money and only after I threatened to go public with the fact you have a child…more than one I understand."

"I'll leave the country if you don't leave me alone," he said with panic in his voice.

"I don't care, go, but your father will be on every newspaper in this valley. I doubt he will be so forgiving when his career is ruined."

"He can get rid of you with one phone call. He is in tight with the unions and he can buy any favor he wants."

"You're bluffing," I said with a smile. I knew I had him right where I wanted him, but I had to keep my composure. Riley was beginning to visibly shake and I wondered why he would go to such lengths just to keep from going through a simple outpatient procedure.

"No, I'm not, he's gotten rid of people before and he knows how to keep them from being found."

"You expect me to believe you? I don't believe a word out of your mouth," I challenged him.

"I'm not lying, looked into the disappearance of Shawna Sherwood. She tried to blackmail my father and now she's gone."

"Riley, Jamie is a little girl who deserves a chance at life. We are not asking you to claim her or have anything to do with her, we only want her well. And you are going to dick up and do the right thing and you know why?" I asked and he shook his head back and forth quickly. I raised my hand to show him the tape recorder. "Because Daddy is going to prison if you don't."

He lunged at me and it was just what I wanted. I hit him hard right in the gut and when he bent over I brought my knee up and caught him right in the eye. I pushed him back into the wall and held him tightly by the throat. "Shall we go have a talk with Daddy or are you going to call Dr. Dunn?"

"I'll call," he said quickly.

I pulled a business card from my wallet and handed it to him. "He's expecting your call," I said and walked away. I was a bit worried about his threats, although it seemed like he hadn't told his father about Jamie's need for his marrow. I decided to find a seedy motel where I could pay in cash just in case I was being sought.

It was over an hour later I got a call from Dr. Dunn telling me Riley had contacted him. I smiled at the news and asked him to keep in touch with Riley often in case he became afraid again. A lot could happen in five months and I wanted to stay one step ahead of Riley.

The next morning I headed to a local mall and searched for a gift for Jamie. I found an animated cat which looked so real and purchased it. I also looked for a ring for Bella. I found the perfect diamond shaped like a delta and bought it. As I sat in the airport, so proud of the fact I would be home early; I called Felix and asked him to keep his ear out for news regarding Riley. If he quit his job or moved, I wanted to know about it.

I was just about to board the plane when two men in suits approached me. I looked around for any officers and wondered if I yelled for help if anyone would actually come to my aide. "Mr. Cullen, we work for Mr. Biers and we would like a word with you," they said.

"I'm boarding my plane; you'll have to call me," I said nervously.

"We suggest you take a later flight," one man offered.

"I suggest you tell the Lieutenant Governor I'm needed at home and he can call me," I said and took a step away from them.

"We need the tape," the larger man said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but a friend of mine with the Arizona Republic newspaper is holding a package for me, maybe he knows what you mean."

"Sir, this can be worked out easily."

"You're right it can, I don't have a beef with any of the Biers except Riley. If he shows up for his procedure, I'll never give Arizona or the Biers family another thought. Make junior do the right thing for once in his life and all the problems go away."

"And you'll give us the tape?" they asked.

"What tape?" I repeated and turned to walk away.

I was shaking when I sat down on the plane and realized I was in over my head. I had to keep that tape protected to make sure Riley came forward or not only my daughter's life was in danger, but mine too. There was only one person I could think of I would trust with this job….Tanya.

29

I got off the plane and drove to the Denalis house just north of Seattle. I had been here many times, mostly in Tanya's bedroom and I had to hope she wasn't upset about being tossed out of our house. I wouldn't put my friends in danger, but there was no link from me to Tanya that anyone would be able to connect. She was my only option.

Tanya lived in a small cottage behind the main house and I headed straight there without stopping to speak to her parents. I knocked on the door and she opened in just a t-shirt and panties. I felt my stupid cock react and hoped it was just conditioning and not from any conscious desire for her.

"What do you want?" she asked angrily.

"Don't give me that shit, Tanya, you insulted my wife and child, what did you expect me to do?"

She stood back from the door and let me inside. I glanced at her legs as she walked to the large overstuffed chair and then forced myself to look away. She sat down and then raised one leg and placed it over the arm of the chair.

I walked past her and pushed her leg down before going to sit on the couch. The last thing I needed was a look at her pussy; I already knew it by heart. "I need you to help me with something," I said to get right to the point and the hell out of that familiar place.

"Why, she won't suck it?" she asked with a sly smile and I refused to answer either yes or no.

"I'm going to give you something to hold for me. If anything happens send it to the Arizona Republic newspaper, okay?"

"What do you mean if anything happens, are you in danger?" she asked and I could see the old sweet Tanya returning.

"It is assurance Jamie's marrow donor shows up to do his job, that's all," I said with a smile and she came over to sit next to me.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I was awful to you and you are dealing with so much. What can I do to help?" she offered and ran her hand down my chest.

It felt so good to have a woman who didn't expect anything from me. I didn't have to hold her broken heart together or worry about her energy. She was right here, smelling incredible, and it would take only a little effort to forget for just a few moments.

I closed my eyes and she leaned in to kiss my neck causing me to move my head back to offer her better access. I could feel her hot breath and when she licked up to my ear I inhaled and got hard instantly.

"Let me do something for you, Edward. I can take it all away for a few moments," she offered and I felt my hands reach out for her, but Bella entered my mind. Her beautiful face filled with hope as she carried my child and worried for her own. I pushed Tanya away harshly and stood to make my way to the other side of the room.

"I need you to keep this," I said and pulled the small package from my pocket, "Nothing more."

"Wow, you have changed," she said angrily. "Fine, I'll keep the damn package."

"Thank you, Tanya, you are the only person I trust with this," I said and she softened again and smiled at me.

"Thank you for trusting me. And just so you know, you can trust me with anything… anything."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind," I chuckled and left the cottage quickly.

I was so tired and horny as hell, but I wanted to get home to my girls so I drove through the night to get there before Jamie went to bed. I walked in the house and heard both Bella and Jamie scream and come running. I laughed and pulled them both into my arms.

"You're home early, is that a good sign?" Bella asked and I nodded enthusiastically.

My mother came into view and asked if I was hungry. "I'll get it mom, don't worry about it," I offered but she rolled her eyes and said, "Nonsense."

I followed everyone into the kitchen and opened my bag to pull out the toy. I turned it on to show Jamie how it meowed and moved its body. She grabbed it into her arms and said, "You're silly, daddy. I still want a real one next summer."

"If you take care of this one, you can have a real one," I teased her.

I looked up to see my father standing in the hallway and he motioned for me to come to his office. I smiled and kissed Bella before saying, "I'll be right back, I want to say hello to my father."

I entered his office and found him waiting for me by the door. "I just want you to keep a check on Jamie's fever, she's been elevated all day, but seems to have plenty of energy."

"Have you checked her port?" I asked and he nodded.

I took a deep breath, knowing Bella had an appointment on Tuesday but worried about Jamie having to return to the hospital. "Is everything okay with the donor?" he asked.

"Yeah, he'll show up, I can guarantee it," I said and followed him back into the kitchen and put a smile on my face.

I sat down and my mother put a plate of pasta and breadsticks in front of me so I dug in. Jamie played with her cat on the carpet while Bella watched me eat. I turned to thank my mom and Bella suddenly tensed and stood.

"What's wrong?" I asked her as she tried to keep from crying. I reached out for her arm but she pulled away from me without looking at my face.

"Nothing, Jamie, come on dear it is bedtime," she said and walked from the room.

I wolfed down my food and went upstairs to tell Jamie goodnight and check her fever. Bella left the room the moment I entered and her sudden shift in mood had me stumped. I didn't know if it was something to be expected with pregnancy or not.

I gave Jamie some meds and sat on the side of her bed to talk to her before she drifted off. "Are their germs in Brazil?" she asked.

"Yes, but we'll go before your transplant and be very careful," I told her. "Do you know how to swim?"

"Dad, I'm seven not three," she said as if I was stupid to ask such a question.

"I just wanted to know if I needed to buy you water wings," I laughed and she giggled too. "I love you," I said as I was overcome by the sound of her laughter.

"I love you too, and I'm glad you're home, dad."

I kissed her and shut off the light before heading into my own room to check on Bella. I shut the door and she walked right up to me and slapped me hard across the face. "You bastard," she yelled at me and I stared at her with a stunned expression. "I'm carrying your child, and fighting to keep my daughter alive and you cheat on me?"

"I didn't cheat on you," I gasped.

"Do you mind telling me how you got lipstick all over your neck?"

I ran my fingers down my throat and felt like the room was closing in on me. I looked at Bella with guilty eyes and she backed away from me. "I'm going back to my dad's," she said in tears and began grabbing items from her dresser.

"I can explain," I said softly and she shook her head back and forth. "I didn't cheat, and if you'll just listen."

"Go to hell," she turned and said angrily as she tried to push me from my room.

"Bella," I yelled loudly. "I did not cheat on you. God, would you listen to me. I got something on tape to incriminate Mr. Biers and I'm in danger if I keep it here. I gave it to Tanya to hold for me."

"Tanya," she screamed loudly. "She was the one kissing you?"

I let my head fall in shame and could see all the things I did wrong, but never stopped long enough to think about them. Of course Bella would not want me going to Tanya's and now I had to tell her I had been tempted. The old Edward would have lied, but I needed her to know I would always tell her the truth.

"I'm terrified Bella, I'm twenty-four and Jamie's world is resting on my shoulders. If she dies I will have to look into your eyes every day and know my stupidity killed her. I'm trying so hard to be the strong man for both of you, but I'm not strong, I'm confronted everyday with just how weak I am. I was at lunch with a client and ran into a woman I used often from Port Angeles. She laughed at the idea someone would marry me."

"So you proved them right?" she demanded.

"No, I had one moment, one weak moment where I wondered if I could actually return to how I was and let everything wash away, but I couldn't. I never kissed her Bella, she kissed my neck and I pushed her away from me. I need her to keep a recording for me, because it is too dangerous to bring it here or to give to one of my friends. Tanya is not connected to me in any way, so it had to be her."

"Edward, I'm terrified, too. I'm watching my daughter slip away and pray I can keep it together enough for my baby, while wondering if you are even capable of being faithful. I hate being afraid all the time," she cried. "And I am fully aware of how much I screwed up your future, Edward."

"If I don't have your love, I can't go on," I told her honestly. "Nothing matters without you."

"Are we going to be okay through all of this?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said softly and honestly. "It's worth the fight, though." She nodded and stepped forward to bury her head in my chest. I tightened my arms around her and held her to me as she cried. "I love you, Bella, more than you will ever know. You didn't ruin my future."

"And I won't blame you if Jamie dies, you can't ever leave me, I'm lost without you," she said and clung to my shirt.

I held her and rocked us back and forth as I contemplated her words. We were in the very first stages of the nightmare coming for us and I wasn't sure we would survive together. I was so worried our grief would be the wedge to separate us forever. I led Bella to the bathroom and began making a hot bath. I was anxious to relax and hold her in my arms.

We climbed in and I held her against me as I spoke softly in her ear. "I got you a gift."

"You shouldn't have," she said and let her head fall to the side so I kissed her gently.

We were quiet for a few moments and she finally asked, "So how did it go with Riley?"

"I waited for him at the capitol and when he showed up I taped our conversation. He threatened me with his father's people, but in the end he called Dr. Dunn and said he would show up."

"Do you think he will?" she asked.

"I can guarantee it. Some of daddy's people showed up at the airport, they are terrified I'll go to the press, so he'll show."

"Thank you, Edward," she said softly.

"Exactly what did you see in the guy?" I asked with a hint of jealousy. He wasn't overtly handsome and looked like he never cared about his body.

She finally laughed and said, "I could ask you that about Lauren, Emily, Leah, Jessica…."

"Okay, I get it," I said to stop her from a conversation that could go on all night. I actually didn't give much thought to their looks or personalities. As long as they were easy it met my criteria. But Bella seemed too good for Riley on all accounts.

She turned her head away from me and said, "He had a great car."

"What?" I asked.

"He had a great car," she repeated and I stared down at the back of her head.

So many things began to fall into place and I gasped, "Oh my God, you liked me for my car. If Jasper had a vintage Mustang you would be Mrs. Whitlock right now."

"It wasn't just your car," she laughed. "You had sexy hair, too."

"So now I have a Volvo and a crew cut, what's keeping you here?" I asked and was really quite interested in the answer. I wanted to believe her feelings for me were similar to my feelings for her, that everything about me kept her interested, but I wasn't so sure.

She turned her head again and looked at me. "When you got out of the Volvo I realized it wasn't the car, it was you I was attracted to, and when you shaved your head I realized it wasn't your hair, but your face I found so handsome. But I have to admit it is your heart I love the most. It accepted Jamie without hesitation and forgave me for all the stupid mistakes I made."

"Can yours do the same and forgive me?" I asked.

She took my hand and pulled it to her chest before saying, "You hold my heart in your hand, Edward. It is all yours."

I kissed her neck as my hand filled with her soft breast. I looked down and saw how her flesh appeared in my palm as I kneaded it. She moaned and I moved my other hand down between her legs playing lightly with her as she grabbed my wrist and guided me inside. My kisses turned to a gently sucking and she began moving my hand with quicker motions.

Her writhing body was turning me on so much I spun her around and pulled her onto me. She sat straddled with her knees resting on the bottom of the tub and her hands on the wall beside my head. I held her hips and braced my feet against the end of the tub to find the motion I needed. I moved her quickly back and forth as she held on. One of her hands left the wall and reached into the water to fondle my balls.

"Oh hell yeah," I moaned and she gave me a squeeze that was painful and erotic at the same time. I sat up completely and moved my arms to her back and circled her so my mouth could hold firmly to her nipple. I bit softly and she gasped for air before plunging her hand into my hair and pulling me tighter to her chest.

I held on tightly and sucked hard as she bucked back and forth on my cock. I felt sick at the thought of Tanya touching me; this was the only body that would ever bring me pleasure. This was everything worth living for and all I had to do was hang on.

When Bella fell asleep in my arms I slipped the ring on her finger.

30

By the time we made it to Jamie's two week reprieve we were all exhausted. Bella was finding the prenatal vitamins made her sick so she was vomiting almost as much as Jamie. I came home each evening to take over for my poor mother who was also growing weary of an emotional child and hormonal woman.

Jamie's head was now a shiny bald dome and mine was coming back with a vengeance along with a beard I grew to save time with not shaving. I had bags under my eyes and looked like I aged five years in only six weeks. I hoped having this break would give us time to put some weight on Jamie, she was skeletal and her mouth sores made it difficult for her to eat.

I was moody and easily angered and we were all walking on egg shells around the house. I sat in my car with my eyes closed as I tried to find the strength to go inside. The house felt like a prison we all wanted to escape from, but there were too many germs in the world and if Jamie couldn't leave, we wouldn't either.

I finally grabbed my computer bag and got out of the car. I walked into the house and nobody ran to greet me. The house was dark and quiet. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cookie off the middle of the table and headed up the stairs. I saw Jamie sitting outside my bedroom door with tears streaming down her face.

"What's wrong, princess?"

"I don't know," she said and went back to looking at the wall in front of her.

"Where's mommy?" I asked and began to feel a deep fear.

"She's crying," Jamie said without looking at me.

"Is she in her room?" I asked and Jamie nodded so I stepped closer.

"Can you move sweetheart so I can check on mommy?"

"The door is locked," she said.

"Where are grandpa and grandma?" I asked and I could hear my voice shaking.

"Grandpa's at the hospital and Grandma is at the spa."

"Jamie move," I said harshly and jiggled the door. "Bella," I called out loudly.

There wasn't any answer and I pounded on the door with my fist as I screamed for her.

"She won't answer," Jamie said and sat against the far wall with her legs pulled up to her chest, hugging them tightly.

"How long has she been in there?" I asked.

"I don't know, she started crying and then locked the door."

I stood back and kicked as hard as I could, sending the door splintering off the lock and flying open. I saw Bella lying on the bed in a pool of blood. "Oh God," I screamed. I ran to her and checked her vitals. She had a heartbeat but her pale complexion told me she was in trouble.

I called for an ambulance and noticed Jamie hunched against the wall with tears running down her face. "Jamie, go to your room," I screamed and put some pillows under Bella's legs to elevate them.

I saw her bleeding was coming from her vagina and knew she lost the baby. I began massaging her uterus trying to get it to contract so she would stop bleeding but minutes kept ticking by. Her fingers were growing cold and I held them in my hands and blew on them as I rubbed them frantically.

"Bella," I yelled. "Open your eyes, Bella."

I heard the ambulance coming up the driveway and ran downstairs to open the door. They followed me up the stairs and as soon as they saw Bella they pulled her onto a gurney and ran out the door. I followed and remembered Jamie was home so I ran back into the house. I screamed out in frustration when my father didn't answer his phone and then called my mother.

"Hi son," she answered sweetly.

"Mom, Bella's been rushed to the hospital; I need someone to be with Jamie."

"I'm coming," she said and the line went dead.

Jamie was sitting on the stairs gasping for air as she cried so hard. I rushed over and pulled her into my arms as I cried right along with her. I was drowning and clinging to a child for help as she trusted me to fix everything. I was going to break her trust and she would now know I couldn't fix her either.

I sat on the step in surrender and screamed into the air causing Jamie to cry louder. "Damn it God, help me," I begged. "Take me, not them. It is me who deserves this not my angels. Are you really that hateful?"

"Daddy," Jamie cried and I cringed at the word. I couldn't be her daddy, because I didn't deserve her and God would take her from me.

I pushed her from my lap and moved away from her outstretched hands as my heart shattered into pieces. "Daddy, hold me," she screamed loudly and I moved quickly up the stairs and into my room. The bed was drenched in blood and I fell to my knees and ran my hands though it before bringing them to my face and smearing it all over me.

This was my payment for wanting Bella so badly. I never cared about any girl I defiled or if my children were sucked down a sink, this was God's revenge and it hurt as badly as he intended for it to hurt. Jamie came to the bedroom door and screamed when she saw me covered in Bella's blood. I turned and sat along the bed as the room began to twist and spin.

I was confused when I woke up to the sound of machines beeping. I opened my eyes and didn't recognize where I was. My head fell to the side and my father jumped up and grabbed my hand. "Edward, are you okay?" he asked.

His question sounded funny and I chuckled at the absurdity of it. Was I okay? I was far from okay and I couldn't pretend any longer. "Where's Bella?" I asked.

"She's down the hall, Charlie is with Bella and Rose is with Jamie. Your mother just left."

"She lost the baby," I told him and he nodded.

I felt tears sting my eyes and he gave my hand a squeeze. "Edward, there will be other babies; you have to stay strong for Bella."

"I can't dad, I'm not strong enough. Hell, look at all the help I have and I'm still not strong enough."

"Son, you had a psychotic episode brought on by stress. What you are doing is so hard for someone your age, but you are Bella's husband and Jamie's father, you can't desert them, they need you."

"Dad, Jasper is going to sink tons of money into my idea and it may fail. Bella got pregnant because I was too stupid to put on a condom, and now look at her. Jamie thinks I'm her real father, and only he can save her, not me."

"And it is Wednesday, Edward," he said and I stared at him in confusion. I had no idea what he meant unless I had something to do and had forgotten about it.

"You can't control the facts in your life. Jamie has cancer, fact, Bella lost the baby, fact, today is Wednesday, fact. You accept the facts and deal with what comes at you. It is called life and sometimes it really hurts. Your mother lost baby after baby, if we gave up you would have never been born."

At the moment it was preferable to the life I was living. My wife lost a baby and I still felt like such a baby myself. I mistakenly thought if I worked hard enough and loved deeply enough everything would be fine. I was learning life didn't work that way. I sat on the edge of the bed and asked which room Bella was in. My father walked me to the door and I opened it to see Charlie sitting in a chair as Bella cried.

I walked to her side and she pulled me into her arms so I climbed into the narrow bed with her. We held each other and cried, unable to change anything but finding strength in each other. Charlie left the room and I took a deep shaky breath. "Bella, I'm so sorry."

"Edward, you saved me, don't be sorry. I should have called you, but I thought if I rested the bleeding would stop."

"I almost lost you, too," I said and more tears fell.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "Is Jamie okay?"

"God, Bella, I lost it right in front of her. She must be terrified now," I said with a sigh. "I'm such a pussy."

Bella laughed and it made me smile. I tightened my arms around her and tried to fight off images of trying to live without her. "I saw my dad cry," she said. "I thought my dad never cried. I don't think we're doing so badly."

"Do you remember in high school when you shut your finger in my car door?" I asked her.

She looked up and me and said, "Yeah."

"I held you in my arms so you wouldn't see my tears. God, hearing you cry ripped me apart…plus I could see down your shirt."

She slapped my chest and we laughed together. I felt like she poured strength right into me when she laughed. I pulled her back to my chest and we both closed our eyes and tried to rest for the next battle we had coming at us.

I remained in Bella's room throughout the evening and people began stopping by. I assured Jasper I was fine but he gave me the next day off anyway. Alice burst into tears and when she walked into the room. I held out my arms but she pushed them aside and grabbed Bella.

"I'm so sorry; you need to let us help more. We'll wait on you hand and foot," she promised and Bella laughed.

"I'm fine, Alice. I didn't lose the baby because of too much work. These things happen."

I ran my finger through Bella's hair and knew she was trying to be strong, but her heart was still aching. We would have more kids, years from now, but we would always feel the pain of losing our first. When the doctor came in that night he told us both Bella should wait six months before becoming pregnant again. I was relieved to know I had Riley's commitment locked down.

I was released but stayed the night with Bella as Rose and Alice entertained Jamie. I figured Jamie needed a bit of space from us both right now. We snuggled up together on her bed and she asked, "Edward, do you think it was a boy or a girl?"

"Bella," I said and wished she would change the subject.

"I know I was only two months along but I felt in my heart it was a boy," she said softly. "I knew Jamie was a girl when I was pregnant with her, too."

"We'll have a son someday, I promise," I said and felt the weight of life returning to my shoulders.

"Do you think Jamie will survive now? I'm not being greedy and wanting two babies, so will God let me keep one?"

I didn't want to tell her I felt God would take all my happiness not just part of it; I couldn't do that to her so I kissed her head and said, "Sure, Jamie will be fine."

We slept as newlyweds should, peacefully and full of hope. But as soon as the sun rose the reality came back for us. I woke up to the sound of Bella crying and all I could do was hold her in my arms. We didn't speak, because there was nothing to say. My father dropped off clothes for us and we waited for the doctor to come say Bella could go home. We dressed and I helped Bella into my mother's car. The entire drive home was silent.

I noticed our mattress by the side of the house and it was covered with a tarp waiting for a disposal truck to come get it. The bed from the spare room had been moved into ours and I wondered if Bella would even know the difference.

I put her right in bed and Jamie came and stood by the door. Bella held out her hand and Jamie ran to her. "Honey, I'm sorry you were scared, but I'm fine now."

"What happened, you were bleeding," Jamie said softly.

"We're not going to have a baby anymore. I had what is called a miscarriage," Bella explained and Jamie stared at the ground. "It is very common, it happens regularly."

Jamie glanced at me and quickly looked away so I got onto my knees to be on her level. "Jamie, I freaked out. I lost control and it was wrong. I didn't mean to scare you, sweetheart."

She nodded but wouldn't look at me and I was just too raw to deal with it, so I stood and left the room. I would let Bella talk to her and find a way to restore faith in our daughter. I went into my father's office and poured a drink. I downed it quickly and poured another just as my mother walked in.

"Edward, drinking won't help," she said and took the glass from my hand.

"I don't know mom, I think you're wrong this time. I lost my child, I'm not sure Jamie will live and my wife is a ghost of her former self. A drink is surely in order."

"I'm not letting you do this," she said and walked out of the room with my glass. I headed to the game room and found an old pack of cigarettes and went onto the back deck. I hadn't smoked in years but tonight it was just what I needed. I lit up and took a deep draw before blowing it into the warm air. It felt so familiar and I got a bit of myself back.


	11. Chapter 11

31

Bella got stronger as the days wore on. Jamie and I had some weirdness going on between us and I wasn't sure it would ever change. I felt guilty and she felt hesitant. We were polite but she never shared her fears or confided in me. I was happy for it, I wasn't sure I could handle her problems any longer.

Bella was the one having the hardest time with the changes in our relationship. She encouraged Jamie to include me and begged me to spend time alone with her. We both made excuses and the closer Jamie got to her second round of chemo the more worried I became.

"Mom, look at the wig Alice made," Jamie called out and walked into our room to find only me. She was wearing a knit cap with bright pink curly hair sticking out. She dropped her eyes and turned to leave so I called out to her.

"Jamie, it looks really cute, be sure and have your mother take a picture," I suggested.

She turned slowly to look at me and her lip was quivering. "I'm sorry," she said with a barely perceptual voice.

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"I'm sorry I made the baby die," she said and turned to run from the room. I ran after her catching her by the stairs and getting on my knees to look directly into her eyes.

"Why do you feel you made the baby die?" I asked.

"Because I was jealous, I didn't want mommy to have a baby. I'm just like Jake," she cried and I stared in total shock. "Now you hate me," she said and tried to pull from my arms.

Children interpreted things so differently, but I never once thought she would see things this way. I pulled her to my chest and tried to find the right words, but the only thing that would come out was, "No, Jamie, no."

"Are you going to leave again?" she asked as tears fell down her gaunt cheeks.

"Honey, I'm sad the baby died, but you and mommy are the most important people in my life. I don't hate you, I love you, and I will never leave. I feel like I let you down by falling apart when you needed me," I tried to explain and prayed she would be able to understand.

"We need you now," I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned to see Bella and realized I had pulled away from her, too. I never held her at night or even attempted anything physical. I felt like a failure and acted like it by pouting and shutting down.

"I need my girls," I said and Bella came over to wrap her arms around me. Jamie hesitantly joined her and I kissed them both.

We sat on the floor at the top of the stairs and huddled together. Our reality sucked, but it was ours. Just like my father said you can't change facts, you just deal with them. I finally said, "Let's get out of this house and go see a movie."

"There are germs," Jamie said and I jumped up and grabbed a sheet from the closet and one of Jamie's face masks.

We drove to Port Angeles and bought tickets to an animated film. I covered the seat with the sheet and Jamie wore her mask. We waited for the theater to clear before we walked out, each of us using disinfectant wipes and smiling. We felt somewhat normal and had a family outing just as we should.

"That was fun," Jamie said with enthusiasm. "When I get my kitten I'm going to name it Libby like the one in the movie."

Bella looked over the seat at Jamie and asked, "What kitten?"

"Daddy said I could have a kitten next summer."

"Oh really?" Bella said. "Isn't your mother allergic to cats?"

"We won't be living at my parents by next summer," I said and Bella raised her eyebrows. "We'll most likely move to Port Angeles to be closer to work," I explained.

"What about Chicago?" Bella asked.

"If this works out with Jasper I want to see it through," I said and didn't look to see Bella's reaction. "Who wants ice cream?" I asked.

"I do," Jamie said and I pulled into the drive thru and ordered us each a cone. She ate a few bites and then handed it to me to finish for her.

"Dad's a pig," she teased and I snorted at her, making her laugh.

"He'll work it off later," Bella said and I looked over at her in shock. She laughed loudly and it was an incredible sight. I wanted to take this day and bottle it for when our tougher ones returned. Jamie was headed back to chemo and we were headed back to exhaustion, but we only had to make it through this next round and then her transplant would be scheduled and a new urgency would begin.

When we went to bed that night I felt nervous. We were supposed to wait a month to make love, but the way Bella snuggled up to me I knew she had something in mind. I didn't want her to feel obligated to service me. I wasn't that guy anymore, so at least I had made some improvements.

She ran her hand over my stomach and kissed my chest. I held perfectly still so she moved her hand into my boxers. "Love, you don't have to do anything," I said but my body was set on fire by her touch.

"I know I don't have to, I want to," she said and ran just her fingertip down the length of me. I jerked from the sensation and she raised her head to look at me. "Do you like that, Edward?"

"Yes," I said as I stared into her eyes. She brought her entire hand around me and squeezed lightly, causing my eyes to roll back and I sighed loudly. I kept my arms loose as she worked me, trying desperately not to make her feel she had to give anything up to me in return.

I tried to push her hand away when I was ready to cum but she placed her palm over my cock and let me shoot into her hand. I was amazed by her once again. She gave me so much and I felt like I failed her constantly. I kissed her hard, trying to say how much I loved her through my lips and she responded just as forcefully.

When she got out of bed and went into the bathroom to wash her hands I watched her walk. He body was shrinking right before my eyes and I knew it was stress and everything she had been through. When she climbed back into bed I whispered softy, "You need to eat more, Bella."

"I know, I just feel awful eating when Jamie can't keep anything down."

"She needs you strong, eat for her, "I suggested and she nodded against my chest.

We both fell asleep quickly since the day had worked wonders at putting us back together. I hoped it could last.

I showed up for work the day of Jamie's second round of chemo and Jasper called me into his office. He was holding the folder I had prepared and I was terrified to hear his reaction to my proposal. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to love it or hate it, but I tried to appear confident.

"I looked this over and I have to admit I'm pretty damn impressed. You thought of every angle, Edward, now I know why you were in all the advanced classes."

I smiled and felt sick to my stomach. He was going to invest in my ideas and I had never put myself out there like this before. I always relied on my father to take the risks. "Jasper, if it seems too risky in this economy…"

"That's why it is so brilliant. In this economy people are looking to save a buck. You found a way to cut several percentage points off the front end. That is huge, be proud man," he said to give me a bit of courage.

"You would need to hire a few more people," I said hesitantly and he nodded as if he expected my words. I was very impressed with his business sense and regretted how I treated him when we were younger.

"If you hear of anyone let me know," Jasper said and then added, "How's Jamie?"

"She starts the second round today. The first round almost destroyed us, so I'm scared shitless for this one," I admitted and it felt good to say the words.

"I'm not pretending to know what you're going through, but can I offer some advice?" he asked sheepishly.

"Sure."

"Set up a date night, where you take Bella away from everything, no matter what is going on, force her to get away. Then hire a nurse, I'll pay, it would be my way of helping out."

"Jasper you are doing too much already. This job is your way of helping out," I pointed out to him.

"Yeah, I thought so, but you found a way to make me more money, so I need to do something else," he grinned.

I sat forward and rubbed the stubble on my head which was filling in nicely in just over a month. I was feeling like I was being pressed from both sides and not sure how to get away from the squeeze. Jasper gave me a few moments to get my thoughts together and then asked me outright, "What's going on, Edward?"

"I'm a punk ass kid, I have a wife, we lost our baby, and we are fighting like hell to keep Jamie. This isn't the life I wanted," I finally said the words out loud.

"So, go get the life you want," he said bluntly. "I guarantee it is just as stressful as the one you have now. You were spoiled rotten, Edward. I used to envy you, but now I see I was better prepared for life than you were. You were going to be a doctor and you wouldn't have had a clue how your patients felt. Now you'll know and it will make you a better doctor."

"I'm not going back to medical school," I told him.

"Sure you are. You are not a guy who restores ships, that's me. You're a doctor, and this experience is going to make you see it."

It suddenly became so clear, just as Jasper said it would. I was feeling sorry for myself one moment and the very next one I knew what specialty I was meant for. I wanted to be a pediatric oncologist. I would only be pushed back one year, next fall we would head to Chicago, all three of us. I smiled at Jasper and sat back in my chair feeling like a new person. I could hardly wait to get home and tell Bella, but in the mean time I was going to work my ass off making sure my ideas brought Jasper money.

I was reenergized by the time I got home. I drove fast and sang along with the music as I drummed on my steering wheel. I knew Jamie was going to be having a difficult day, but I was going to be paying better attention, so I could use this experience down the road.

I walked into the house and gave my mother a tight hug. She looked at me to make sure I hadn't been drinking and then smiled. "You seem happy," she said.

"As much as I can be under the circumstances, is dad home?"

"Not yet, but he's on his way," she told me and I headed up the stairs to see Jamie and Bella.

I heard Jamie throwing up before I got to her bedroom door. I walked in and Bella gave me an exhausted look so I walked over and took the bowl from her hand. "Jamie, you throw up all you want. Get that shit out of your body," I told her and she looked up at me with just her eyes and nodded as another round of vomiting commenced.

When she finally fell back onto her pillow I wiped her mouth and took hold of her hand. "Jamie, you're my inspiration, do you know what that means?" I asked.

She shook her head back and forth so I continued. "You give me a reason to try harder and do better. I watch you and it makes me want to be a better person."

"I hate cancer," she said as she rolled to her side.

"So do I, sweetheart, and I hate that it happened to you. In two months you'll be playing in the sand in Brazil," I promised her and she smiled just a little.

Her eyes closed and she fell asleep so I turned on the monitor and headed out to find Bella. She was sitting on our bed with tears and I walked over to wipe them off and smiled down at her. "We're going to make it through this," I said.

"I hope so," she whispered.

"Get in bed, I'll bring you dinner in bed," I said and she rolled her eyes at me. "I'm serious, let me spoil you a bit, and just so you know we will be having a date night once a week and a nurse will stay with Jamie."

"Who are you and what have you done with my husband," she teased and I winked as I left the room.

I headed to the kitchen and since I didn't really know what to fix I took some suggestions from my mom. I made a plate of French toast for dinner and carried it up to Bella. She glanced at the tray and smiled. "Wow, this really looks good. I love your mom's French toast."

"I made it," I corrected her and she laughed since I had actually made my mom's recipe. "Hey, do you still know how to make your Bella bars?" I asked.

"Yesh," she said with a full mouth.

"Write down the ingredients and I'll have my mom pick up the stuff. I would love to taste those again."

"I can't believe you remembered," Bella said and I leaned over to lick some syrup off her chin.

"Mom," Jamie called out and I motioned for Bella to stay in bed and I went to see what Jamie wanted.

I walked in the room to see her grabbing her leg. "Daddy, my leg hurts so badly," she cried. I sat on the bed and began giving her deep muscle massages. Her calf muscle was knotting up and she cried when I pushed on it.

"Honey, you need to drink more. You are getting muscle cramps from the chemo." I heard my father come home and yelled for him to come up to Jamie's room. He walked in with his medical bag and I told him of the cramping. The pain stopped as quickly as it began and then she developed chills. I wrapped her in the blanket as my father took her temperature.

He checked her throat and seemed concerned. "Double up on her antibiotics and we'll see how she does during the night," he said.

"Bacterial?" I asked and he nodded.

I got her medications and gave them to her before making her some hot tea to drink. I was happy when she sipped her tea and seemed to warm up. She fell back to sleep and I went to our room to find Bella asleep, too, so I headed down to talk to my father.

I opened his office door to find my mother on his desk with her legs wrapped around him. I quickly shut the door and smiled. I knew it wasn't easy for my parents to have a full house after all these years and I knew we were cramping their style, but at least they found time to be together, and it gave me hope Bella and I could be like them someday.

32

I'm sure everyone thought my new outlook would wear off as Jamie became sicker, but I managed to stay positive and soon noticed Bella getting more positive, too. Jasper was moving ahead full steam with the interior upgrade part of his services and we had three ships waiting.

It was hard to push Bella into our date night, but when I refused to take no for an answer and the nurse showed up, she forced herself to go. I took her dancing the first night. I held her in my arms as we swayed to the music and our hearts reconnected. We now looked forward to the night with enthusiasm.

Jamie had a lot of difficulty making it through this round. She was hospitalized twice and fought infection the entire time. But her last treatment fell on Bella's birthday. I came home with a bouquet of Roses and her own diamond necklace of a B. Jamie insisted on wearing hers even though she was vomiting most of the evening.

I could see light at the end of the tunnel. Jamie's next battle would be in the hospital with qualified staff to ease our burden. I called Dr. Dunn to see if Riley was still answering his calls and he assured me everything was still good. Jamie would enter the hospital on December ninth and if everything went well she would be home before Valentine's Day.

When November came we were planning our trip to Brazil and watching Jamie get stronger each day. My mother was home schooling Jamie in the hopes she would be able to advance to third grade with the other kids her age next fall. I was hoping she would begin school in Chicago.

Bella was helping me pick out clothes for our trip when her cell phone rang. "It's Alice," she said and walked away to talk. I had been to the island many times, but suddenly needed Bella to pack for me, so I left the job and went downstairs to find Jamie playing a game of Jacks on the floor.

"Dad, do you want to try?" she asked.

I watched her for a minute and then sat down to give it a try. I tossed the ball too high and Jamie laughed and took it from me to show me once again how to do it. I tossed it lightly and grabbed one of the Jacks, knocking several with my clumsy hand.

"Dad, you have to be soft," Jamie said and took the ball from me again. She picked up several Jacks and then handed it back to me.

I was able to pick up the Jack but when I tried to catch the ball with my hand fisted it bounced away. Jamie ran after it and came back to sit as she laughed. "I'm better at Jacks than you are," she stated proudly.

"You are better at many more things than I am," I told her.

"What did I get from you?" she asked. "Everyone says I look like mommy."

My heart dropped and I glanced around for Bella. Jamie was staring at me, waiting for an answer so I said, "I love bananas."

"Me, too," she smiled and seemed happy with our one thing in common.

"Edward Cullen," Bella yelled and Jamie laughed, "I think you're in trouble."

"Why?" I asked.

"She uses both names when she's mad," Jamie explained and I jumped up and ran up the stairs.

I peeked in the room to see if she was mad at me or angry at the fact I stopped packing. She looked at me and groaned. "Did you give Alice one of my bars?"

"Yeah, why?"

"They want to buy the recipe for their boutique," she said and shook her head.

"How much did they offer you?" I asked and she gave me an embarrassed grin.

"I'm not selling, I told her I'll look into packaging them myself," she said and my mouth fell open.

"No shit?" I asked and she frowned at my verbiage. "Bella, I'm really proud of you. You could be the next Mrs. Fields."

"Or the next Mrs. Nobody," she said and went back to her packing. My mind was spinning with all kinds of ideas, but I knew they would have to wait for Jamie's illness. I was happy Bella was thinking about her own future for once and I vowed to support her anyway I could.

We got up early to drive to Seattle and Bella sat bundled in her coat as Jamie slept on the back seat. "I'll be so glad to be where it is warm," she said and I worried about how she would handle the cold of Chicago.

"You're such an Arizona girl," I teased.

She glared at me and then asked, "Did you call the airline about Jamie's medications?"

"Yes, everything's in place," I told her.

"I hope this trip goes well," she sighed. "Jamie really deserves to have fun."

"She is so resilient," I mused. "She amazes me."

"Edward, she loves you so much," Bella said and I smiled and blew her a kiss.

"So, are you good with keeping her in the dark?" I asked.

"Totally, she'll live her life knowing her father loves her, it is the least we can give her."

I didn't give it another thought. I considered Jamie my daughter in every sense and I would be the father she deserved. I knew the day would come when she would want answers and I would make sure to answer them in a way she would always know she was loved.

We had a long day of traveling. Jamie had to wear her face mask the entire time. We went crazy with the wipes and poor Jamie couldn't touch anything without one of us grabbing her hand and wiping it clean. By the time we arrived at the house we were all exhausted.

I had Bella make a list of food and I would take the boat to shore and buy food the next morning. We ate some canned fruit for dinner and all went to bed. I had gone shopping and returned before the girls got up. Jamie came walking into the kitchen to watch me put away the groceries.

"Are you up to boating or swimming?" I asked her.

"I had a dream a shark bit me," she said and put her chin on her folded arms.

"So I guess that means boating," I laughed.

"Are there sharks around here?" she asked with fear in her voice.

"Yeah, but just tell them to leave you alone and they'll go away, of course you have to say it in Portuguese."

"How?"

"Ir embora or is it vir aqui…hum….one means go away, and one means come here," I teased.

"Dad, stop," she said but I noticed how she smiled.

"There are more sharks off the northeastern coast, I've never seen one around here so don't worry, okay?"

"So if I wear my sparkly swimsuit they won't come after me?" she asked seriously.

"Sharks can't see sparkly," I said to make her feel better. She jumped off the stool and ran to her room to put on her swimsuit as I started making pancakes. She returned in a bright pink swimsuit covered in little jewels that looked like diamonds.

"Wow," I exclaimed. "You're going to make all the fish so jealous. They'll think you are the prettiest mermaid in the world."

"Mommy's putting on her suit but she said her legs look like marshmallows," Jamie laughed.

"Mommy is crazy, you know that right?"

"I'm telling her you called her crazy," Jamie threatened and I shook my head.

"I said I'm crazy about mommy, you didn't listen," I said and she laughed.

Bella came out of the room with a bikini top and a pair of cutoffs and I glanced at her, finding her absolutely sexy. "Do you want pancakes to go with those marshmallows?" I said and Jamie laughed again.

"I really hope you enjoy your life as a eunuch," she threatened and I moved to cover myself with my hands.

"What's a eunuch?" Jamie asked.

"A man who said the wrong thing," Bella said and I hoped it ended Jamie's questioning.

"Jamie and I are going boating, are you coming?" I asked Bella and she glanced around the kitchen before shaking her head back and forth. It surprised me she didn't want to come. I thought for sure she would want out of the house as much as possible. "Are you going to sit on the beach?" I asked.

"Did you get everything on the list?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I think I'm going to make some bars and play around with the recipe. You'll have my undivided attention this afternoon," she promised.

I was thrilled to see Bella passionate about something, of course I would rather her passion was over me, but she was seeing possibilities she never thought she would have. I handed her a plate of pancakes and leaned over to kiss her. "Take all day if you want," I told her and she smiled widely.

After breakfast Jamie and I headed to the dock. "Are you going to wear a hat or use sunscreen on your head?" I asked her.

Her head fell and she said softly, "Mom said I have to do both."

"Your mom is brilliant," I said and handed her the tube of sunscreen. "That head would blind the fish."

Jamie reached out and pushed me, trying to knock me into the ocean and I grabbed onto her. If I went in, she was coming too. We both laughed and all the problems of the last four months were gone. I let Jamie handle the boat for a bit and when we found a pod of dolphins she screamed with delight.

"They're so big," she observed.

One of the dolphins jumped high into the air and her eyes filled with tears, she was so happy and it made me emotional to see her this way. I finally brought the boat close to shore and we got out to swim. At first she was hesitant and stayed right by my side, but soon she began to venture off and I had to keep warning her to stay by me.

We were both starving when we came back to the house and could smell the Bella bars from the dock. "I'll race you," I said and Jamie took off running. She was really fast for a young girl who had spent her entire summer stuck inside a house.

We crashed through the door and Bella looked up from the kitchen. Her face was flushed and her hair was pulled up and damp. Flour was on her cheek and her apron and she never looked more beautiful.

"Come here," she insisted and handed us both a tiny portion of a bar. "Try this one first."

We both ate quickly and agreed it was wonderful. Bella handed us another bite sized portion and asked which was better. "They're both good," I said and Jamie nodded.

"But which one is the best?" she asked and I tried to really decide.

"The first one," I said and Jamie quickly disagreed, "No, the second one."

"Perfect," Bella squealed and jumped up and down. "I used dark chocolate and pecans for the first one because men have a slightly different preference. I used the milk chocolate and Macadamia nuts for the second, because women like things a bit sweeter."

Jamie swelled with pride that Bella referred to her as a woman, but it made me a bit sick. I wanted her to remain seven forever, so no teenage fucker could get his hands on her.

"Can I have an entire bar?" I asked, "I don't care if it is male or female."

"Yeah, cause dad makes a great Tiffany," Jamie laughed and I glared at her.

"What's this?" Bella asked as she cut us each a bar.

"Dad played paper dolls with me and he said he loves Demi Lovato."

"Tiffany loves her, not me," I said and it only made it sound worse.

"I think daddy needs some more grown up time," Bella said and winked at me. I nodded enthusiastically, I really, really needed more grown up time.

We ate our bars and Bella made us a grilled cheese sandwich. The travel and busy morning began to wear on Jamie and she cuddled up in a chair and fell asleep. I smiled and Bella and nodded with my head for her to follow me. I walked to the beach and into the water. Bella removed her cut offs and came in after me.

I kept walking and planned to take her to the inlet I always took Tanya to, but she stopped following and called to me. "Come here, Edward."

I walked back and she wrapped both her arms and legs around me. "I think right here is just fine," she smiled and pulled me to her lips. I kissed her as my hands wandered over her body, stopping on her ass. She pushed off with her legs and rose up my body and then slowly came back down to the seated position.

I pulled on her bikini bottom and she let her legs down to remove it. I quickly pushed my suit down and pulled her back to me. "Speak Portuguese," she moaned in my ear.

I inhaled sharply and said softly, "Você é tão bonita, você é meu."

"Yes," she said and began moving faster.

"Eu tea mo," I yelled as my head fell back.

She let her entire body fall back into the water, floating as we were still connected. All the times I had been here with Tanya she never once did anything like that. I held Bella's hips firmly and pulled her into me over and over again until she arched, bringing her chest high out of the water as her head fell below. I yelled in a deep roar as my body jerked into hers with a force I had never experienced.

She used her abdominal muscles to rise out of the water and I pulled her tightly to me as I tried to catch my own breath. "God, you're amazing," I told her and she kissed me as her hands ran through my long hair.

We held each other as the waves softly rocked us. I was in bliss and wondered what I had ever done to deserve Bell and Jamie. Bella interrupted the mood by asking, "Edward, can we talk about a few things?"

"Sure, love," I said and I could tell by her tone they where things she knew I would find difficult to talk about. I tightened my arms around her and listened closely.

"If Jamie is well, we are going to Chicago right?" she asked.

"That was what I had in mind," I confessed.

"Okay, what if she doesn't make it?" she asked softly.

I began to shake my head but she tightened her hold and said, "Edward, we need to talk about this. We need to decide where to bury her if it comes to that."

"God, Bella, are you losing hope?" I asked in shock.

Tears fell from her eyes and she shook her head. "You have no idea how much hope I have for my baby. But I have to be reasonable because I don't want to make a decision based on emotions. I need to know she'll be with me. If we go to Chicago should we bury her there?"

I took a deep breath and felt my own tears fill my eyes. "I don't plan on staying in Chicago after school," I said.

"Are we coming back to Forks?" she asked.

"Seattle maybe, but not Forks."

"Okay, could we have her cremated and then settle on a permanent resting place when we settle?" she asked through her sobs.

"Sure, Bella, that would work," I said and held her to my chest.

"Okay, one more thing," she said and wiped her tears with her fingers. "Tanya called me."

"What?" I yelled and wondered why Bella wouldn't say something at the time.

"She offered us the cottage while we're in Seattle with Jamie; she's going to be out of town."

"You talked to Tanya?" I asked again like I hadn't heard her just a moment ago.

"Yes, she didn't want to call you because of the big secret she is keeping for you. Should we accept her offer?"

I thought about it and knew the cottage wasn't anywhere near the hospital. I still worried about Bella's energy level, but the cottage would be comfortable, although we wouldn't be there much. I finally shook my head in the negative.

"It's too far away. I'll get us a place close to the hospital so you can come and go as you need," I said and she smiled and nodded in agreement.

"One more thing," she said and I groaned loudly so she smacked my head. "Jamie asked me why you needed to grow up and left us."

"Shit," I said and looked back at the house. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her we were both young and you needed to go to college so you could get a job, and I met Jake and thought he would love me more, but he didn't. She seemed okay with the answer."

"She asked me what traits she inherited from me, I told her I like bananas," I said and felt stupid just repeating the words.

"Well, next time tell her you both like to play with paper dolls," Bella said and I let me legs bend and pulled her under the water with me.

33

We spent two wonderful weeks on the island. Jamie was tanned and her head was covered in dark fuzz. I hated the idea of leaving and wished we could stay there forever and nothing could hurt us. Bella was quiet as we packed and Jamie sat with a bag full of shells as she stared out the window.

I walked over and rubbed her head. "You want to take one last walk along the beach?"I asked.

She reached out with her hand and took mine, so I pulled her up and headed to the beach. She kept looking at the ocean and I finally asked her, "So, what are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure I'll ever be back here," she said sounding much too wise for her years.

"When you come to a new place and spend time, you leave a bit of yourself behind. A part of you will always be here," I told her.

"What's heaven like?" she asked and I couldn't look at her as I spoke.

"It is a place where cancer doesn't exist, only happiness and love," I said as we continued walking on the sand.

"So it won't be so bad if I go to heaven," she said softly and I tightened my hand around hers.

"No, it won't, but I really want you to stay here," I said and when my voice broke she looked up at me.

"Dad, I knew you when I saw you the first time. I knew you were my dad. I'll know you in heaven, too." She meant to comfort me, but her words sent tears streaming down my face.

"Jamie, I think God mistakenly sent you to earth. You were an angel and he must miss you very much. But I want you too, and I'm going to fight like hell to keep you here with us. I need you Jamie, much more than God does."

She stopped walking and said through her cries, "Daddy, I want to stay with you. I don't want to die."

I fell onto my knees and hugged her tightly. "I'm fighting for you, baby. I'm doing everything I can to keep you here."

She cried in my arms with loud aching sobs, something I had never heard from her before. I wanted to fix everything and be her hero, but for now all I could do was hold her and tell her how much I loved her. She knew more about pain than any seven year old should ever know and I would gladly take it on myself if there was any way to trade places with her. But life doesn't work that way, so all I could do is let my own heart hurt along with hers.

We came back to the house and I noticed Bella's eyes were red as if she had been crying, too. I hugged her tightly and whispered, "I love you, Bella; you know that, right?"

"Yes, I feel it every time you touch me," she whispered and kissed my neck. "I love you, too."

We left the island and flew toward the final battle. Riley had to show up, and Jamie had to stay infection free. All our hopes rested on this procedure and I had to believe my past sins wouldn't be used to punish Jamie.

When we landed in Seattle we drove to the Children's hospital to show Jamie where she would be staying for two months. We also drove around to see what hotels were close by. We found some places not too far from the hospital and Bella wrote down their names.

Bella would stay with Jamie Monday thru Thursday and I would drive to Seattle on Thursday evening and stay until Sunday night. I knew we were going to be tired and stressed and I hated the idea of not being close enough to rush to the hospital if I was needed. Jamie fell asleep as we headed out of the city toward Forks. Bella and I didn't speak the entire way home, each one of us lost in our own thoughts.

I headed off the work the next morning and called Dr. Dunn to check in. He seemed happy to hear Jamie did well on the trip and was still healthy. He told me Riley was coming to Seattle and would be receiving shots to stimulate his marrow growth. Jamie would undergo conditioning to suppress her immune system for several days before the transplant would take place. Everything was in order and I had high hopes it would go as planned.

I walked in the plant to find one of the ships being retro fitted with the upgrades. I walked through the hull and it was filled with people working hard. I felt a sense of pride and when I ran into Jasper I gave him a hug.

"Everything looks good," I told him.

"Yeah, I have four more orders. It really pisses me off that you thought of it and I didn't," he teased.

"You would have thought of it if you hadn't smoked so much pot," I said and he punched my arm.

"Look who's talking, I'm surprised you even know how to fuck without being high. How's Jamie?"

"She looks great," I said with a smile. "You would never know to look at her that she's sick. But, I'm here to work, so shut the hell up and let me save your fledgling company," I said and headed to my office as Jasper laughed loudly.

I got a call from Bella, telling me Jamie had her check up with Dr. Dunn and was doing great. He told her about the donor coming for prep and I knew what her worry was without hearing the words.

"Bella, he won't see her, at all. He'll have the procedure and leave, because he's too afraid of being held responsible for something. We won't see him either," I promised her.

"Yeah, you're right," she said softly. "Hey, my dad got engaged," she said with a laugh.

"Wow, is Sue pregnant?" I asked and Bella only laughed harder. The sound of her happiness made me happy and I sat at my desk with a stupid ass smile on my face.

"Have a good day," she said.

"Bella," I called out before she could hang up.

"Yeah?"

"Remember the night I came to your house to beg you to give me a chance?"

"Yeah," she said hesitantly as if it was a painful memory.

"I fell in love with you that night. I knew with certainty I loved you."

"Well, you must have forgotten because remember what you did the next night?" she said and I felt like such an ass for bringing it up.

"No, I didn't forget, I just knew I didn't deserve you," I said with remorse.

"When you defended me at school, it was when I knew I loved you. You walked into my back yard and smiled at Jamie, God, I almost jumped you," she confessed and I smiled again.

"We've got this," Bella," I said confidently.

"Yeah, we've got this," she said and I could tell she was smiling, too.

We spent as much time with Jamie as possible and drove to Seattle the morning of the ninth to check her into the hospital. She was in a pretty good mood, considering. She was put in a special room with air filters to protect her from infection and Bella had to dress in a special gown and mask to enter the room.

I filled out the forms and headed up to the floor. I was shocked to see Angela at the nurse's station. I felt it was a good omen, Angela was the sweetest person I knew and I loved the idea of her helping Jamie. She smiled when she saw me and came over to offer a hug. "I'm so glad you and Bella got together," she said.

"Thanks, Ang. It is such a relief to see you here," I admitted.

"I got Bella's cell number but give me yours and I'll keep you updated during my shift."

I gave her my number and leaned in to speak softly, "Ang, Jamie doesn't know I'm not her father." Her eyes widened and she nodded slowly. "Her father is the donor but he has nothing to do with her. In fact, I had to threaten his life to make him willing to donate."

"Man, I'm glad you told me. I'll make sure all the nurses know," she said and I trusted Angela to handle it.

I stood outside the room and looked at Jamie through the glass. Bella pushed a button on the wall and said, "Did you see Angela?"

"Yeah, I've got a good feeling about this," I said with a big smile and Bella nodded in agreement.

"Dad, I can't bring in stuffed animals," Jamie said sadly.

I glanced at the television and pointed at it. "I'll get you a video of some cats."

She laughed and said, "You can't come in because you have germs."

I growled at her and she laughed louder. Only Bella was allowed in with Jamie and I was fine with it as long as I could see her and talk to her. It was an hour later when they came to take Jamie for her first round of chemo and radiation to suppress her immune system. Bella kissed her through the mask and I blew her a kiss as they wheeled her away.

"Let's go sit in the cafeteria, Angela can tell us when she returns," I said to Bella and she nodded.

We got some food and tried to eat but our nerves were too evident. We looked at the faces around the place knowing each person had a child in crisis and we belonged to a very terrible club. I wanted to remember this room when I became a doctor. Parents were trying to eat to remain strong for their kids, as their hearts ached.

I was picking through my salad when I heard Bella gasp. I looked up and followed her eyes to the far side of the cafeteria where Lieutenant Governor Biers stood looking back at us. "Damn it," I said loudly and threw my napkin on the table and stood. He walked toward me so I waited for him to reach out table.

"Your pussy son better be here," I said a bit too forcefully.

"He is here and I came to support him," he said and I knew it was a lie; he came for the tape and nothing more.

"I don't have what you want on me," I said and he nodded and looked at Bella and smiled.

"I hope my granddaughter is doing well," he said and I had to maintain my composure so I wouldn't drill him.

"I have no idea who your granddaughter is. But our daughter is doing well," Bella responded.

The man's jaw tightened and I could tell he was not the kind of person who was used to being disrespected. He glanced around the room and I wondered if he was waiting for Riley. I didn't want Bella to have to speak to the prick so I held out my hand and said, "Excuse us; we're going somewhere else to eat. Our appetites have been ruined."

Bella followed along with my quick steps and I could tell she was so relieved not to have to see Riley. We got in the elevator and noticed a van out front from the Today show and Good Morning America. I didn't think too much about it, since the place specialized in transplants and was most likely getting recognized nationally.

We drove to a Starbucks and got a cup of hot coffee before returning to the hospital. I dropped off Bella and left to find us a place to stay. I had considered renting a small apartment, but I didn't want to have to sign a lease or have Bella worry about keeping a place clean. I checked us into a motel and rented a room for a month. I explained our situation and they had dealt with similar things before.

By the time I got back to the hospital Jamie was in her room. She didn't seem too uncomfortable and I knew it would be worse tomorrow. I sat outside her room with my laptop until nightfall and Bella got her to sleep, then we snuck off quietly, grateful the first day was behind us.

Bella was menstruating and I wasn't in the mood for any sexual contact. I only wanted to hold her in my arms and feel strong together. We talked softly in the darkness about silly things that had no relevance. We didn't want to talk about the weeks ahead, it was too daunting to consider.

When she fell asleep in my arms I kissed her head gently and let myself wonder what our child would have looked like. I would know someday, but there was a void I felt and knew it would last forever.

The next morning we headed right to Jamie's room. She was sitting up in bed and smiled at us when we walked up to the window. We pushed the intercom and told her we were going to eat breakfast and would come right back.

Angela informed us Jamie would be taken to treatment in just a few minutes so I asked her to text me when she returned. We walked into the cafeteria and I noticed how Bella's eyes looked around for Riley. We got a bagel and coffee and sat close to a television to catch the morning news. Bella grabbed a newspaper and was looking through the headlines as she sipped her coffee.

"Are you going to be okay here alone?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think I'll do better when I'm not worried about you sitting outside the room," she said and I raised my eyebrows at her. "I just worry that you're too bored or something."

"Or something?" I challenged her.

"I'm worried what it will do to you when Jamie is very sick and you can't come in," she clarified.

I saw her point, it would be difficult to have her cry out for me and stay away. I wasn't sure I had that much strength. We took our time eating and reading when I got a text from Angela. Two hours had passed since we left Jamie's room and the text read_, Edward, come ASAP!_

I jumped up to leave and my attention was drawn to the television screen. The Today Show was talking to Mr. Biers and then went to a shot of Riley sitting next to Jamie's infusion chair talking to her. It had obviously been prerecorded earlier this morning. Bella looked at the screen and gasped as I ran from the room.

My blood was boiling by the time the elevator opened on Jamie's floor. I saw the news crew talking with Riley in the hallway outside of Jamie's room. I ran to him at full speed, pushing him against the wall and pounding my fist into his face. I hit him so many times and was only vaguely aware of people trying to pull me off of him.

I was finally thrown to the floor and a pair of cuffs was placed on my hands as cameras continued to film. I was pulled to my feet and dragged toward the elevator by two officers as I saw Jamie's face against the glass crying hysterically.

"Daddy's okay," I yelled to Jamie.

"You're not her father," Riley screamed at me.

I glared at him and then looked for his father. I saw him behind the cameras and smiled. "You're going down governor. Your ass of a son just signed your prison papers."

He smiled and shook his head. "I don't think so," he said and held up the tape I had given to Tanya.

The elevators closed and all my happiness began to fade away.


	12. Chapter 12

I sat in a cell as my knuckles ached and my heart broke. I couldn't get the look on Jamie's face out of my mind. I considered the possibility of her finding out someday I wasn't her biological father, but I thought it would be further down the road, when she would be able to understand.

My biggest fear was the possibility of losing her before I got to explain. She would die thinking I had lied to her and not understanding why. I also worried about Bella and how she was being treated by the Biers. I wanted to believe she would remain strong, but I wasn't sure.

I waited for almost three hours when someone came and told me I was being released on bail and had to return at a later date to see the judge. I walked out of the police department with my paperwork and saw Alice waiting for me.

"Jasper called me," she said to explain. "Bella called Jasper."

I followed her to her car and when we both sat she turned to look at me. "You're not allowed back in the hospital."

"Bullshit," I said forcefully.

"Bella said to take you to the hotel and she'll meet you there later."

A small part of me felt relief that I wouldn't have to face Jamie just yet. I wanted to believe Bella would fix it all and I could continue on ignorantly claiming her as my biological daughter. But another part of me wanted to see Jamie so badly and make sure we were still good.

"How's Jamie?" I asked and wasn't sure I wanted the answer.

"She scared and confused, some prick shows up and tells her he is her father and will save her life and then the man she thinks is her father beats the man bloody. She doesn't know what to think," Alice said as she started the car.

"I just can't do anything right, can I?" I said and sunk low into the seat.

"Bella will fix it," Alice said. "Jamie will trust whatever Bella tells her. Did Jasper tell you his father called him about four years ago?"

"No," I said and wondered why Jasper never told me. I thought back over the years and couldn't remember Jasper ever talking about his father. I guess I always figured the guy died.

"He talked to the man for over an hour, but then went right to his mother to have her explain everything. Jamie won't believe this guy unless Bella tells her she can."

"She needs to hear it from me, not Bella," I said and stared out the window at the cold rain.

"What are you going to tell her?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," I said softly.

She dropped me off at the hotel and I took a hot shower and put on clean clothes. I waited for Bella to show up and she came after lunch when Jamie had finally fallen asleep. I looked at her face as she walked through the door, trying to read her. She walked over to where I sat and knelt in front of me on her knees as she lay her head on my lap.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"She wants you, Edward. She is crying and wants to see you. Are you strong enough?"

"What did you tell her?" I asked.

"Nothing, she wouldn't listen to me, she just kept asking for you."

I had to believe that was a good sign and she still loved me. "Did you talk to Riley?"

Bella raised her head and wiped away her tears before saying, "He went to the press so his father can use the story for his run for governor next term. They are only using her. They are also looking into your past and talking to anyone who knows you."

"Oh, God," I said and Bella put her head back on my lap. My life was going to be splashed all over the web and Jamie would be able to read all about it in years to come.

"How did he get the tape?" I asked thinking Tanya had betrayed me.

"They had you followed when you landed. Tanya is out of town so they went through her place."

"What do you want me to tell Jamie?" I asked.

"Tell her the truth, Edward. If Mr. Biers is going to use her for an election we can't keep it quiet anymore."

"I have to get in her room, Bella. I can't do this through the intercom."

"Okay, let's go over tonight when it's late and I'll get you in," she said and I nodded.

I got out my computer and tried to look up stories and poems, anything to help Jamie understand what I wanted to tell her. I finally decided to talk from my heart and let whatever happens, come out naturally. Bella went back after a couple of hours and when she returned I headed back to the hospital with her.

She showed me the locker where a fresh gown and face mask hung and I gloved up after scrubbing my hands and arms. I walked into the room and saw Jamie lying with her back to the door. I sat on the bed and leaned back against the pillow.

"Jamie, it's daddy," I said and she spun around the grabbed me tightly by the waist. I held her and tried to clear my throat so I could talk. "Honey, I love you so much," I said and couldn't get anything else out.

"I don't want him," she said with anger in her voice.

I was so tempted to tell her Riley was her donor and nothing more. I could say he was deranged and as long as he gave her new marrow we would let him think whatever he wanted, but I couldn't do that to her. She trusted me like a father and I had to let her know she always could.

"Jamie, what does the word father mean to you?" I asked.

"Someone who is my daddy," she answered.

"What makes a daddy, how can you tell if someone is a daddy?"

"If they play with you, and take care of you, and love you," she said.

"Well, that makes me your daddy, right?" I asked and she nodded against my stomach. "We're a family, because I love you and your mommy. I take care of you both and I play with you. I would die for either one of you. When your mother needed a father for you, I wanted the job so badly. I came from Chicago just for a chance to be your daddy. You don't have my blood in your veins, but you have my entire heart."

"Who was that man?" she asked.

"Your mommy met him in high school, and when she got pregnant he ran away. She raised you all by herself and thought maybe Jake could be your daddy, but he was too selfish. Your mom thought I was too young, so when I got older I came back and asked again if I could be your dad, she could tell how much I loved you and said yes."

"Will I have to live with him, he said I would come see him in the summers," she said with a shaky voice and my entire body tensed up.

"He'll have a rod shoved up his ass before you'll ever spend a minute with him," I said angrily and Jamie raised her head and said, "You said a bad word."

"Daddy's sorry," I said and kissed her with the mask on.

She smiled and said, "You're my daddy."

"Yes, honey, I am. When I married your mom I went to court and had you legally made my daughter. Nobody can take you from me, Jamie. I'm your daddy for life."

"I was scared that when I went to heaven you wouldn't come," she said as she returned her head to my stomach.

"I'll be there for years waiting for you," I said. "I'll stand right by the door and watch for you to join me when you are an old, old lady."

"Like thirty," she said.

"Don't make daddy hurt you," I said and pulled her up to my chest as I laughed.

We were quiet for awhile and she finally said, "I think daddy's get their kids a pet, too."

"Only really special daddy's do that."

"I think you're a really special daddy," she said and I knew she was going to break some boy's heart one day.

"Jamie, you get your new blood on Monday and I want you to concentrate on getting that blood to engraft and start making more and more bone marrow. You'll get better and I'll let you pick any pet you want, okay?"

"Okay," she said with a smile and I could tell she was trying to fight sleep. I held her in my arms as I sang softly through the mask and she quickly fell right to sleep. I didn't want to leave, I wanted to hold her in my arms for the entire night, but I knew if a nurse came in I would be in trouble, so I gently placed her on the pillow and left the room.

Bella was waiting anxiously for me and when she saw my face she relaxed and smiled. "Everything's good?" she asked.

"Yes, but we need to have a conversations with the Biers, Riley thinks he can have visitation with Jamie."

"What?" Bella yelled. "He signed away his rights."

"But that was before Jamie was political gold. I'm afraid they'll fight for her."

At first Bella looked like she was going to cry, but she suddenly raised her chin and shook her head back and forth. "I'm not a stupid kid anymore. The Biers can't intimidate me. I'll beat them at their own game," she said and opened her phone and looked up the number to a news station.

I quickly took the phone from her hand and said, "I'll support you in anything you want to do…after Monday. For the next two days act like Riley won, and after the transplant you can give him hell."

She nodded and then smiled as she pulled me to the elevator. The door closed and she attacked my mouth, kissing me with such force I got hard and wanted to have her right there in the elevator. We drove back to the hotel quickly and she continued her assault as my hands moved over her entire body.

I pulled the card key from my pocket as she continued to kiss me and when I pulled her into the room she pushed me back against the door. I laughed and her mouth moved from my lips to my neck and her hands began removing my jeans.

When she pushed my jeans down she lowered with them and held my hips firmly. I closed my eyes and remembered the first time she did this to me, in my bed, refusing to let me make love to her. My hands hit the door as the sensation of her hot mouth registered. There was nothing to hold onto so I held the door handle with one hand and pressed my palm to the wall with the other hand.

Every coherent thought left my brain and nothing remained but the feeling of her licking and sucking. I was giving her total control and keeping my hips still. This was a gift she was giving me and I wouldn't ruin it by taking over.

"Ah shit," I yelled and felt my ass tighten as she pulled me deep into her throat. My release was painfully sweet as every muscle I had clenched and jerked. I collapsed back against the door and she kissed her way up my body. I gained control enough to wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her hair.

"Thank you, Bella, for loving me and marrying me and giving me a daughter," I said with tears as my entire body tingled from her expertise.

"You made everything in my life good," she whispered.

I slept soundly in her arms knowing Jamie still loved me and there were no more secrets. We were a family and nothing could tear us apart. I heard the ringing in my sleep and couldn't concentrate enough to answer the phone. Bella moved to reach for my phone and I could hear her talking softly.

She put it back on the nightstand and shook me lightly. "Edward, Dr. Dunn got a call from Riley. He's backed out of the donation."

I rubbed my eyes and sat up to look at the clock. It was almost midnight and I knew the first plane to Arizona or Chicago left at five thirty. I sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my eyes before I stood.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked.

"I'm going to Sea-Tac," I said as I pulled on my jeans.

"What are you going to do?" she asked with fear, or tears, I wasn't sure which.

"I'm going to either drag him back to the hospital, or kill him," I said and began putting on my shoes.

"Edward, calm down," she said and jumped up to get dressed. She ran into the bathroom to change her tampon and I grabbed my keys and left.

Riley Biers dangled hope in front of my daughter's eyes and let her down all over again. I was tired of dealing with him. I wasn't playing his game anymore. I reached in my glove box and pulled out my Swiss army knife. If he wouldn't share his marrow with Jamie, he didn't get to keep his life, it would be that simple.

My phone rang and I reached in my pocket and shut it off.

35

I parked in the underground garage and walked slowly toward the terminal. It was quiet with only cleaning crews around. I sat on a bench just inside the automatic doors so I could see the length of the ticket counters. If the place got too busy I would move to the security section and wait there.

I was tired so my fuse was short. I didn't plan what I would say, I was simply telling him he had the choice to return to the hospital or die. Without him Jamie was sure to die so I didn't care what happened to me.

I sat there for over an hour when several men came running through the door. I recognized Mr. Biers and jumped up and walked toward him. "Where is he?" I screamed.

"He isn't here?" his father asked.

"Are you looking for him?" I asked in surprise. He refused to answer and began looking around the terminal. "He's not here," I said and he finally turned his attention back to me.

"Where else have you looked?" he asked me.

"He'll catch a flight to Chicago or Arizona," I said and he shook his head vehemently. I watched his eyes and could see he was very worried about something, and since he was a politician I knew he worried about his image.

"Where do you think he'll go?" I asked.

Mr. Biers looked around and took a step closer to me in order to speak softly. "He's met a girl who doesn't believe in medical intervention. She believes illness is punishment for sin and will end their relationship if he goes through with this."

I stared at him to see if I could sense any deception. "You forced him to come didn't you?" I asked.

"You threatened me Mr. Cullen," he said angrily.

"Who brought the cameras?" I asked. I wasn't sure if it was Riley wanting the exposure or his father and I also wasn't sure I would believe his answer.

"I am trying to fix my sons mistakes," he said and I laughed, because I wasn't his constituent and I didn't buy it for a second.

"You need to understand Jamie is my daughter. Riley doesn't have a legal right to her, at all. But he does owe her the chance to live. She has never asked for anything from him, he owes her this."

"I would appreciate it if you were very vocal about my desire to help you find my son," he said and I shook my head at his audacity.

"My daughter is sitting in a hospital after receiving massive amounts of chemo to destroy her immune system. I don't give a fuck about your political career or helping you save face to the voters of Arizona. You brought the cameras here; you deal with the fall out. Where is this psycho bitch girlfriend from?"

"Boston originally, she lives in Canada now."

"Where in Canada?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said and shook his head.

"I hope you find your son before I do, sir. He won't have the chance to leave another kid with some unsuspecting woman." I turned to walk off and he called his men over and began strategizing.

I drove toward the hotel praying he wasn't pulling a trick by getting me to leave so his son could waltz through the airport and get the hell out of town. I arrived at the hotel and found Bella was gone. I remembered my phone was turned off so I switched it on and had several messages. I didn't check any, I just called Bella.

"Where in the hell are you?" she screamed so loudly it hurt my ears.

"I'm at the hotel, I lost Riley," I said sadly.

"Edward, do you have any idea how badly I want to kick your ass right now. You are such an idiot sometimes. I'm staring at Riley's fugly face right now."

"What….where?" I asked in shock.

"He wasn't going to the airport and if you would have waited you would have known it, too," she screamed.

"Where are you?" I asked her.

"At the hospital, watching Riley get stitched up. Get your ass over here."

I drove with confusion. I wasn't sure what happened but I had to hope he changed his mind about helping Jamie. I also wished I could have been the one to make him need stitches. I headed into the emergency room which was full of people even though it was in the middle of the night.

"I'm looking for Bella Cullen," I said to a young nurse and she began looking through her computer for the name. "She's with Riley Biers," I clarified.

"Oh, in exam room three," she said and opened the electronic door for me. I walked down the hallway and pulled the curtain at exam room three. Riley was on the table as a doctor worked on his scalp. Bella looked over at me and sighed loudly.

"What happened?" I asked.

"My father has buddies on the Seattle force," she said with a sly smile.

"They roughed him up?" I asked with a hopeful voice.

"They found him," Bella said and tried to keep from smiling.

"Who tried to knock some sense into him?" I asked.

Bella pointed at her purse and I looked down to see a brick lying inside the large black bag. I looked at Bella with wide eyes and she shrugged. "It slipped," she said and I covered my mouth to hide my laughter.

I walked over to the table and looked down at Riley. He looked totally out of it and I knew he didn't know where he was or what happened. "Are you keeping him overnight?" I asked the doctor.

"Yes, the officers will sit outside his door," he said and I nodded happily.

"I'm going to check on Jamie, can you keep a protective eye on Riley, I would hate for the muggers to return for him," Bella said and I smiled and got a little excited at the sight of her.

It was amazing how Riley was suddenly fine with medical intervention when it pertained to him. He was very eager for pain medication when he was the one in pain. I was grateful he was stuck in the hospital for Saturday. His harvest would take place on Sunday and he could go straight to hell after that.

Bella was approached for an interview and asked the reporter to please check back with her on Tuesday, she would be ready to talk then. I made sure there was police outside of Riley's room and then went to see Bella and Jamie.

The room was dark and Bella was wiping Jamie's face with a wet rag as she whimpered, still half asleep. I watched her care for her daughter, after assaulting a man on her behalf and I realized how strong and fierce Bella was. She didn't need me, she wanted me, and that made me love her all the more.

I found a comfortable chair and sat down, within minutes I was asleep. Angela woke me with a hot cup of coffee. I sat up and stretched, "Thanks, Ang."

"Mr. Biers is looking for you," she said with a soft smile.

"Junior or Senior?"

"Junior, he's in room 420."

I got up and headed to the room with my coffee. I wanted a shower and a toothbrush but I was too curious to hear what Riley wanted to say. I walked into his room to find him sitting up with a bandaged head.

"You're a patient in a children's hospital...how apropos," I said and sat in a chair. I felt the urge to punch the guy so I folded my arms tightly to keep control.

"I wanted to explain…."

"I don't really care, so save it." If he thought he could unburden his conscience with me he was wrong. I felt nothing but distain for this jerk.

"I'll go through with it, Jamie's a good kid," he said quietly.

"I want to make something clear right here and now. You are not getting visitation with her. You are her donor, you donated sperm and now marrow, other than that you have no relationship with her at all."

He nodded and kept his eyes down in humiliation. I finally had the chance to ask him the one question I needed answered. "Riley, why didn't you tell Bella you weren't coming back. She could have given the baby up and continued on with her life. There was no reason to lie to her."

He took a deep breath and shook his head for a moment. "I liked the idea of something of me existing in the world. My father has always over shadowed me and this was something he couldn't control. I knew Bella was a great girl and would be a good mother. I wanted the kid with Bella."

"I'm going to give you a little advice, man to man. If the woman you're with would leave you for saving the life of a child, you are with the wrong woman. In fact, I would love for her to come inside this hospital and look at the faces around here and tell me her beliefs. She is not on a higher spiritual plane, she's a heartless bitch."

"I've never been in love before," he said without looking at me.

"She would have left you bleeding and lying in the streets after being mugged, do you really think that is love?" I was stunned he would fall for someone so callous after having Bella. Of course Jane may have scared the heart right out of him, but if he couldn't see straight after talking with Jamie, there was no hope for him.

"Is that what happened to me, I was mugged?" he asked and I chuckled.

"Yeah, and be happy man, I was going to kill you, not just injure you." I stood and looked down at him, "You're doing the right thing, you're still a stupid fucker, but this is a step in the right direction."

When I reached the door he called out for me and I turned to look at him. "Edward, Jamie loves you very much. She talked about you constantly when I spoke to her. She's lucky to have you in her life."

I felt tears sting my tired eyes and I shook my head. "No, I'm the lucky one. I don't deserve her, but thank God she wants me anyway." I left the room and found Bella waiting by the elevator. I took her hand and asked about Jamie, who had gone for her final chemo and radiation before the transplant.

"She's so weak, it terrifies me to see her like this, but she is still upbeat and believes she can beat this."

"Of course she can," I said and pulled Bella into the elevator when the doors opened.

We went to the cafeteria and got some food. We were both exhausted and I tried to talk Bella into sleeping at the hotel and let Angela care for Jamie, but she refused to consider it. "Jamie sleeps and I'll sleep along with her."

"Okay, so tell me what happened last night," I asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm pissed at you," she said with a half smile. "If you would have waited I could have told you my father would help, but you took off and turned off your phone. What if something happened to Jamie and I couldn't reach you?"

"I know, you're right, I was just so over dealing with him. I've worried about him for the past four months and I snapped." I gave her the best sexy smile I had and asked, "Do you forgive me?"

"Oh shove it, Edward, I'm not a teenager anymore," she said but her eyes looked away so she wouldn't fall victim to my charm. "He was heading to Canada; I knew he wouldn't return to Arizona. Riley's a chicken and he wouldn't go anywhere you could find him. My dad issued a warrant and his rental car was spotted north of the city. They picked him up and brought him here. I went to hug him but my arm slipped and my heavy purse hit him in the head. I feel really awful about it."

I laughed and reached for her hand. I stared at the fingers which gave love, and hope, and tenderness. Bella had the best fingers in the world. And knowing they were used to hurt Riley gave me so much pleasure.

A chair at our table moved and we both looked up to see Lieutenant Governor Biers sit down at our table. I groaned and sat back in my chair, "I thought you left."

"Did you hurt my son?" he asked looking right at me. God, how I wish I could tell him it was me.

"I was with you asshole," I said harshly. "The cops found him after being mugged. Next, you'll think Bella beat him up," I laughed and Bella kicked me under the table.

"I would like permission to speak to you both on camera," he said and my mouth literally fell open. He had to know we would fry his ass and blame his son for everything. It suddenly dawned on me, it was what he wanted. Riley would be used as the unstable son who tried to ruin his saintly father, as daddy tried to stand by him.

"I have nothing to say," Bella said but I interrupted.

"We are not speaking until after the procedure, and then will let you know," I added.

"I'm flying home today," he said and reached in his pocket for a card. "You can contact me here. I look forward to talking." He stood and turned around to add as an afterthought, "I hope everything goes well for your daughter."

After he left the room completely Bella turned to speak to me. "Edward, you're going to talk to that man on camera?"

"Yes, I am. He is a ruthless bastard who is going to hang his son to save his career; I'm going to hang them both."

"Edward, please just let it go, they are dangerous people," she begged.

"Right, and they need to be stopped. If I expose him on national television I become the safest man in America." I opened my phone and called someone who I prayed was smarter than I was.

Bella's face grew angry when I said, "Hi Tanya, its Edward."

36

I knew Bella thought I was insane for trusting Tanya, but she didn't know her the way I did. Tanya was the most trustworthy person I knew. Her beef with Bella was female jealousy and nothing more. She gave me the delta to signify my change, but she never believed it would be a permanent thing. Tanya knew me too well.

After everything that happened with the Biers I knew she was innocent. They broke into her cottage and found the tape while she was out of town. I was just grateful Bella wasn't staying there at the time. I also knew Tanya wouldn't leave something like that just lying around.

"Edward, if you want to use the cottage go ahead. My parents are gone too; do you still have a key?"

"I don't want the cottage, but I have to tell you it was broken into and the tape I gave you was stolen."

"Are you sure nothing else was taken?" she asked. "I have some very incriminating photos."

I turned my body away from Bella and asked quietly, "Of me?"

She laughed loudly and said, "No, dear narcissistic Edward. I sleep with a lot more men than just you."

I blushed a little at my ignorance and turned to see Bella glaring at me, so I got right to the point. "Tanya did you happen to copy the tape?"

"The tape they got was the copy. I…edited it," she said and I wanted the kiss her, or maybe just shake her hand appreciatively.

"Is there a way for me to get the tape before Tuesday?" I asked her.

"Sure, I'll call my lawyer and have him courier it to you before Tuesday. Do you want it to come to the hospital? She asked.

"No, send it to the hotel," I said and gave her the name and address. I trusted the hotel to put it in their vault and worried about the expansive hospital losing track of a package. "Tanya, you're a lifesaver."

"I miss you, Edward. You were such a great friend," she said and I knew what she really meant.

"I'll see you later, have a great vacation," I said and hung up the phone to face Bella. "Don't look at me like that, she copied the tape and left the edited version in her cottage. We have the Biers right where we want them."

"I'm sure she can come up with a way for you to thank her," Bella said and bit into her toast.

"I'll let you whack her with your purse, okay?" I teased.

"Don't think I won't," Bella said.

We ate slowly and went back upstairs to wait for Jamie to return. We sat in a chair and both feel asleep. I could hear Jamie crying loudly before the wheelchair rounded the corner. I opened my eyes and looked toward the sound. When she saw me her crying stopped and she let her head drop as she gasped for breaths.

I covered my mouth with my mask and remained seated but asked her what was wrong.

"Nothing," she said as she was wheeled into her room. Bella jumped up to head to the locker room and Angela entered already covered in protective gear. She turned on the microphone and said softly, "Anxiety is brought on by the treatments. I'll give her something to help her rest." She walked over to Jamie's IV and injected something into it.

Jamie rolled onto her side and stared at me through the glass. I smiled weakly but she didn't respond. I mouthed the words_, I love you_, and she nodded just a bit. I was desperate to find something to make her smile. When Bella entered the room I left to search for a pet shop.

I found a small shop with a litter of new kittens. I explained to the owner what I wanted to do and she agreed to help me. We put the kittens in a basket and went into the back room where I handed her my cell phone and recorded a message for Jamie.

"Hi sweetheart, I have something to brighten your day. Some kittens want to say, Hi, to you." I held up one of the tiny writhing animals as he protested loudly. "Wow, this one is a crybaby." I leaned closer to the screen and said, "Kind of like mommy." I held the tiny cat close to the screen and used my Tiffany voice to say, "Hi, Jamie, get better so I can live with you."

I held up each of the five newborns and had each one say something to Jamie. I sent the message to Bella's phone and thanked the shop owner for her help. She had tears in her eyes and said, "When she is allowed to have a kitten, come see me and I'll give her one for free."

"Thank you," I smiled. "I promise we'll purchase enough supplies to make it up to you."

I headed to the hotel to get some sleep and hoped Bella would be able to rest. We couldn't afford for her to get sick. I got a message as I drove, _Edward, thank you. She loved the message and actually laughed out loud. You're a wonderful father._

Her words were just what I needed to hear and I slept soundly for most of the afternoon. The next couple of days were a blur. Jamie was very weak and spent most of her time asleep. Riley had the procedure and left the hospital limping as if he had been severely wounded. He was such a pussy and it sickened me to look at him.

Jamie sat in the infusion chair with the bag of donated marrow in her hand as she smiled for a picture. It made me a bit jealous that it was Riley's marrow in the bag and I couldn't save my daughter. Bella and I were covered in protective gear and we hugged each other as we huddled as a family. I could tell Bella was offering a silent prayer and I worried what God would think if I did the same.

"Daddy," Jamie said with a weak voice. "If this doesn't work, I'll wait for you in heaven."

"Look for me by the door, when you're way past thirty," I said and she smiled.

They hooked up the bag and we watched it travel into the tube attached to her chest. Jamie glanced at it and then back at us. "Here goes nothing," she said.

I wondered if the blood was grateful to be out of Riley's foul body and into such a sweet vessel. We all stared at it as if our will could convince it to engraft and produce healthy marrow. We knew it was possible to have a second transplant, but Jamie's body was so weak there was little hope she could survive a second one. All of our hope rested with this one procedure.

Alice and Rose had taken the time to make a video for Jamie during the transfusion. They went to the school and got all of her friends to say some words of encouragement. They even had Renee film something for the video. Charlie looked so uncomfortable as he spoke his sentiments and it made me chuckle. When my parents spoke I cried like a baby. I couldn't begin to repay them for all their generosity and love. I made a vow to be out of their house and out of their way by summer.

Jamie was taken back to her room as Bella and I sat with the transplant team and went over every issue we could think of. Pneumonia was the biggest worry and basically told us she wouldn't survive if she got it. We discussed her care if the bone marrow engrafted and took over production. We would take her home but she would be under constant care for at least six months.

My medical training and the fact we lived with my father pleased them greatly, but it worried me and added more stress to my shoulders. I now understood the need to get the patients home quickly; it made the doctors feel less responsible.

All we could do now is wait.

Jamie was on massive doses of antibiotics and receiving blood platelets to counteract possible bleeding. Her blood was being drawn often from her port but she slept most of the time. We got a call from Mr. Biers and agreed to a sit down interview with all parties.

A camera crew showed up at the hospital PR room and we sat with the transplant team for what we knew was not going to be a medical report. The doctors spoke briefly about bone marrow transplants and Jamie's chance of survival. The interview quickly moved to Bella and Riley.

"_Mrs. Cullen, is it true your daughter was unaware of who her father was?"_

"No, she knows Edward is her father," Bella answered.

"_So she didn't know Riley was her biological father?"_

"He was a sperm donor, never a father."

"_But he was your high school boyfriend, correct?"_

"He was the boyfriend of many high school girls," she said bluntly and the reporter laughed.

"_Mr. Cullen, you had quite the reputation with the girls too, I understand."_

"Teenage boys are a scourge on society," I said honestly. "I've done a lot I am ashamed of."

"_Well, to be honest we tried to get several girls to tell us about the skeletons in your closet, but none were willing to talk."_

My eyes opened wide and I could have been knocked over with a feather. I thought they would have jumped at the chance to tell what an ass I had been.

"As you can tell, they were all too good for me," I admitted.

"_Would you like to share anything?" _

I laughed and Bella did too. "I think I'll keep it to myself."

"_Lieutenant Governor Biers, when did you find out that you had a granddaughter?"_

"Excuse me," Bella interrupted. "He is not her grandfather. She has two wonderful men, Charlie Swan and Carlisle Cullen, who are her grandfathers."

"_Okay, Mr. Biers, when did you learn your son would become a marrow donor?"_

"I heard about it when Mr. Cullen showed up to talk to my son. I had no idea the child existed."

"That's a lie," Bella said loudly. "You came to my home six years ago and asked me to move to Washington to live with my father. You told me my daughter was a liability to your political party."

"_Is that true Mr. Biers?"_

"I knew my son was involved with a girl who had a child; I didn't know it was his."

"Really?" Bella asked, "Because I hadn't seen your son in over a year when you showed up."

"I would have insisted Riley stay if I knew."

"So why did you write a check to me for fifty thousand dollars last May?"

"My son said a woman he knew needed help, I was being philanthropic."

"Did you hear that America. If you need anything Mr. Biers will send you money with a simple suggestion from his son." I was so proud of Bella and her ability to make the entire Biers family look like asses.

"_Let's talk about the transplant. Now Riley was a perfect match, is that correct?"_

"Yes, he is. But he put my family through hell, Edward had to force him into being tested and then to show up and donate. He tried everything he could to get out of it."

"My son has a conflict of interest. His religious beliefs are against medical intervention."

"He didn't complain when he was mugged and needed stitches and pain medication. In fact, he begged quite profusely for treatment," Bella added.

I could tell Mr. Biers was growing angry, his face was red and his lips were drawn into a tight line. So I added the final blow. I pulled the tape from my pocket and said, "My wife and I are only worried about the welfare of our daughter. This other stuff is only posturing for the cameras. Here is a tape of my conversation with Riley; you'll know how I convinced him after hearing this. My lawyer has another copy," I added to scare Mr. Biers further. I handed the tape to the reporter and took Bella's hand and stood.

We walked from the room as Riley's father spoke angrily to the reporter. We didn't wait to hear his words, they didn't matter to us. Our focus was on Jamie and the hope her nightmare was going to come to an end.

We stood in front of the glass and watched her sleep, hooked up to so many medications pumping into her frail body. This couldn't be our final chapter, it just couldn't. There was too much of a story left to live and it wouldn't be the same with our precious daughter at our side.

I finally did the one thing I was terrified of doing. I closed my eyes and said silently, "God, I know you love her, but I need her. I'm grateful for everything you have given me, I don't deserve any of it, but Jamie is not something I can give up right now. Let her stay and I'll do my best to save other children, I'll be your hands here on earth."

I opened my eyes to see Jamie staring at me. I blew her a kiss and she smiled. I inhaled sharply and Bella turned to look at me. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I have to be, I'm a father," I said and pulled her into my arms as we both smiled at our Angel.

37

I was prepared for a long road, with many ups and downs. I knew there would be days when I wouldn't be sure if Jamie lived or died. I was certain there would be long nights spent on my knees as I begged God to let me keep my girl, but I wasn't prepared for what happened.

Jamie never had a single complication, not even so much as a low grade fever. She got stronger and stronger and came home two weeks early. Bella was relentless in her quest to keep Jamie germ free. The better Jamie got, the more time Bella spent on her bars.

I worked late hours, helping Jasper with the overload of work I had caused and as Jamie says, "Keeping my germs out of the house."

The highlight came in May when Jamie got permission from the doctor to attend a birthday party. She wore her mask but had a ball playing with kids and being the center of attention. I walked in the house after work and performed my usual routine of showering, changing clothing and finally coming out of my room to see Jamie waiting for me.

"Dad, look what I won at the party," she said enthusiastically and held up a small fish bowl with a beta fish.

"Wow, that's gorgeous, how did you win it?" I asked her.

"We played musical chairs, I guess with all the sitting I've done I was a pro," she laughed and I laughed along with her.

"Did you tell your friends you'll be moving to Chicago in two months?" I asked and watched her reaction.

"Yeah, maybe we'll have a party before I go?" she suggested.

"That's a great idea, since you didn't get a birthday party," I said and her eyes grew wide and she ran off to find her mother.

I followed her and found Bella on the phone. When I walked toward her she held up a small cellophane bag with writing on it. I took it from her hand and read, Bella Bar, written in a beautiful script. I smiled and she held up her thumb and smiled.

I waited for her to hang up and Jamie jumped into the conversation first. "Mom, can I have a party before we move?"

"A party?" Bella asked and glanced at me.

"I think a goodbye party is in order. A barbeque or something for her friends," I offered. "I want Perry Smith wearing a mask in case he tries to kiss you," I said and Jamie hit my arm.

"Maybe I would be the one kissing him," she teased and my stomach fell into my feet.

Bella laughed loudly as my face drained of blood. "Oh God," I moaned and sat down. "Put her back in the hospital," I said and was only half teasing.

I suddenly saw myself driving around late at night trying to find her car, or looking around the house for any signs she had been home with a boy while we were gone. I worried about lunch hours in a boy's car and parties on the beach. I couldn't breathe and had to place my head between my legs.

"Remember we wanted this problem," Bella said to remind me how close we came to losing her.

I looked at Jamie's smiling innocent face and said, "Promise me I'll be the only man you ever love."

She shook her head and said, "I love Justin Bieber."

"She has no taste," I said to Bella and she laughed and agreed with me. Jamie ran from the room to begin her party planning so I pulled Bella onto my lap.

"The wrapper looks amazing," I said and she lit up.

"I found a manufacturer willing to take a line of credit. I'm so scared but Jasper insists it's a rush."

"Jasper is an addict, everything is a rush to him," I teased and she took a deep breath.

"Edward, if this works out, I'll be able to finance your medical school. I really want this to work out," she said, "But I feel Jamie is our miracle and I'm pushing it to expect more."

"This isn't trying for more, Bella. This is developing the talent you always had within that had to wait. This was your path all along."

She kissed me and I pulled her into my erection and we both sighed loudly. We were interrupted by Jamie coming into the room with her fish. "I think he's sick, he doesn't move," she said with sad eyes.

"It's a beta fish, honey. They rarely move," I explained.

Her eyes narrowed and she huffed loudly. "Who's heard of a fish that doesn't swim, it is a waste of fishiness," she complained.

"You can flush in down the toilet," I suggested and she gasped loudly.

"Dad, that's not funny," she yelled and stormed out of the room.

"Edward," Bella said softly. "You haven't know Jamie when she was healthy, you better hold on tight, love, because you have no idea what is headed for you."

And Bella was right, the healthier Jamie grew the stronger her personality became. She amazed me, frustrated me, and pissed me off, often. But I wouldn't trade a moment of it. Whenever I wanted to put her up for sale I would remember the feeling of thinking I was losing her. It helped to settle my nerves, most of the time.

I came home from work the week before we were set to move and her bike was sitting right in the middle of my parking space. I honked the horn several times and finally used my phone to call the house. Jamie answered the phone.

"Come move your bike," I said.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I can't put the car in the garage," I explained.

"Can't you leave it out?"

"Jamie, come move your bike and put it where it belongs," I pushed.

"Why does my bike have to be outside and your car doesn't?" she asked.

"Because the car costs a lot of money and it belongs in the garage," I said as my anger began to grow. "Come move the bike or I'll run over the damn thing."

She hung up and walked from the house in full pout mode. She walked up to the bike and put up the kick stand as she moved as slowly as possible. I waited until she turned her back and then honked the horn. She jumped a foot into the air and then turned to glare as I laughed in my car.

I opened the car door and she said loudly, "You're mean."

"You'll be eating those words," I said and she slammed the garage door and headed to the shed with her bike. I grabbed the box off the seat and took it into the house before she returned. I rushed up the stairs and found Bella in our room packing a box of photos.

"I threatened Jamie with running over her bike. She gave me attitude about moving it," I explained.

"Run it over, it will teach her. She has been so pissy lately," Bella explained. "I think she is worried about the move and acting out."

I suddenly felt awful for teasing her. Of course moving to a huge city would be scary for her. She wouldn't have near the freedom she had this summer in Forks, and I didn't want her to feel like she was sick again and had to remain cooped up in a house.

"Relax, Edward. She'll make friends and grow to love Chicago," Bella said and held up a picture of the night of our first date. I stared at how young we were and couldn't believe I spent my spare time screwing anything that would take me. I looked like a baby, and Bella was a mother and looked like a child herself.

"God, you were beautiful," I said.

"Were?"

"You were a beautiful girl, now you're a beautiful woman," I said and pulled her to me.

"You're just saying that because I'll be supporting your ass for the next ten years," she said and kissed me.

I let the picture fall from my hand and I ran it up her back beneath her shirt. The feel of her skin got me hard and I brought my hand around to her breast.

"Lock the door," she whispered and when I pulled away to shut the door Jamie appeared.

I groaned and tried to adjust myself so she wouldn't notice my erection. She looked at Bella with an innocent face and said, "Dad tried to run over my bike."

"Don't leave it in the garage," Bella said and Jamie's eyes narrowed.

"Hey," I said and she turned to glare at me. "Do you love your dad?"

"Yes," she said with a less than convincing tone.

"Do you want to see how much I love you?" I asked and she gave me a wary look.

I opened the box I had placed on the chair to reveal a tiny kitten sleeping in a curled up ball. Jamie glanced in the box and then screamed and jumped into my arms. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she professed.

I hugged her tightly and said, "I told you, you would be eating your words."

"You're the nicest daddy in the world," she said as she pulled the kitten from the box. "Hi, Libby."

I was her favorite person again and as I pulled out all the supplies for her cat she continued to reiterate I was the best father in the world. Later that night I showed Bella who her daddy was, too. She collapsed on top of my nude body and tried to catch her breath as we remained connected.

"You're amazing," she said and squeezed her muscles causing me to jerk from the sensitivity of my spent cock.

"I'll never tire of you; you thrill me more every time I have you," I admitted.

"Are you ready to get back to school and all the pressure?" she asked.

"Yeah, I don't want Jamie to feel we're too busy for her, do you think she'll understand?"

"She'll have her things to do, I want her to feel as normal as possible," Bella said and I kissed her. "I invited everyone to the barbeque not just Jamie's friends. It will be our big goodbye. I think I'm going to cry," she admitted.

"That's a great idea," I said and knew I would get emotional this time, too. I was finally saying goodbye as a man. I wasn't leaving to hide from my problems or walking away after hurting my friends. I was moving forward with my life and it was going to be bittersweet.

Alice and Rose showed up first, each wearing engagement rings, which sent Bella into tears first thing. They assisted with the decorations and Alice informed Bella more shops were interested in her bars and she would have to double production. She really was going to support my ass for the next ten years.

Charlie and Sue showed up just as a car load of kids were dropped off. I checked each boy to see if Perry Smith was among them and Jamie threatened me to back off. Emmet and Jasper came and we went into the game room to share a beer and talk out of hearing range of the kids.

"I have some premium weed I've been saving," Jasper said, "One last toke for old time sake?"

"Not with the kids," I said but didn't refuse for later in the night.

"We somehow made it to manhood," Emmett said and we all laughed.

"Shocking isn't it," I said and we all nodded in agreement. "Hey, guys, I can't thank you enough for holding me together this past year. I wouldn't have made it without you."

"Let's make a pact right now that we see each other once a year, no matter what is going on in our lives," Emmett suggested.

We all smiled and nodded. "Fourth of July," Jasper suggested.

I loved the idea of spending the holiday with my friends for the rest of my life. We would watch each other grow and build a family. We would be there for each other emotionally and reconnect physically every year. I was a lucky man.

When the food was ready we headed to the deck and I was stunned to see the Denalis there. Bella was chatting happily with them and I walked up behind her and pulled her into my arms. "Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

"I'll be watching," she said and winked.

Jamie had a ball showing everyone her kitten and we let her cut a big cake since she missed her birthday. She fell asleep as soon as the kids left, still not up to full strength and the adults remained on the deck talking and drinking beers.

We left Forks ten years ago. Jamie was now graduating from high school so we remained in the Chicago area until she finished. I accepted a job at the hospital where Jamie received her transplant and we would be moving back to Washington.

Alice and Jasper married and had twin boys. Alice traveled setting up shops and Jasper let the boys run around his office until they were old enough for school. Rose and Emmett settled in Forks. Emmett was an insurance agent and Rose stayed home with their three kids, two girls and a boy.

Mr. Biers lost his run at the governor's seat and Riley ended up shooting himself with his father's handgun five years after saving Jamie's life. My only thought was, "I hope another child he abandoned doesn't need his blood."

Bella was named, Entrepreneur of the Year, after only four years of making Bella Bars. I took her out to dinner to celebrate the award. We sat at an expensive restaurant as I told her how proud I was to be her husband and she dismissed my every attempt to lavish praise on her. When I ordered champagne she finally said, "Edward, I can't drink that, I'm pregnant."

I stared at her in shock. She never mentioned a word about stopping her pills and seemed perfectly fine. I felt I missed some vital information and worried about her being angry. "Remember when I said I didn't want my kids to be ten years apart?" she asked and I nodded. "They won't be, they're twelve years apart," she laughed.

"We're having a baby?" I asked to make sure I didn't misunderstand anything.

"Yes, and it wasn't easy, you're never home," she said with a laugh.

"When are you due?" I asked as my mind reeled.

"July," she said and I smiled.

And in true Bella fashion our son was born on July fourth with all our friends in town for the celebration. I carried Porter Edward Cullen into the room to meet his sister. She took him in her arms and smiled at his face which looked like her and Bella but had my coloring and long appendages.

Jamie looked at me with tears and said, "I'm not jealous of him one bit. I have a little brother."

"And he has the best sister in the world," I assured her.

She looked back at the baby and grinned, "Port, we love you."

I leaned over and kissed her head. "Life isn't always easy, is it Jamie?"

"Nope, sometimes I guess life's just gonna hafta hurt," she said and kissed her brother on the forehead.

Her words rung in my ears as I watched Jamie get her diploma. She was going to Arizona State University for college and my heart ached at the thought of saying goodbye. My little girl was a woman now and I had to let go. It was hard to think Bella was the mother of a two year old child at this age.

Port pulled on my sleeve to lift him up so he could see. He was tall for a six year old but I wanted to believe he would stay my little buddy forever. Bella didn't try to see, she was too busy wiping her tears. We made our way through the crowd to find Jamie hugging a bunch of boys and I made sure to glare at each one of them.

Bella hugged her tightly and told her how proud she was. When it was my turn we looked at each other. She had on her necklace and she brought her hand up to hold it. "I knew you were my father the moment I saw you."

"Being your father has been the greatest gift of my life," I said with a strained voice.

"I'm beginning my own life now, but I need to know one thing," she said as tears fell down her face. "Will you still wait for me in heaven?"

"I'll be right by the door," I said and she fell into my arms.

I watched her head off with a group of friends for a graduation party and felt the pain of her absence immediately, but she was right, I guess it's gonna hafta hurt.

THE END


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